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nattgal's Journal

day to day

Projekt

April 24, 2013, 05:34:am

I got a new projekt going on, i trying my best to take great photos, i dont have the editing skils, so most of my photos is unedited. Take a look, hope you like it :-)

https://www.facebook.com/NattgalsDominion

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>>	3 comments

Fuck my life

February 24, 2013, 06:39:am

I don't get life. It can be so cruel. I know I have don bad things when I grow up. But I learned my lesson, I made me a better man, even if it was late in life, you know what they say "better late then never". I'm trying like every one else to find love. There are times I think I have found it, and it's hard for me to open my heart, I have been hurt so meny times it make me a bit cozies and scared. Its ok if you hurt me, if you just can tell me why, that way I can move on in life, cos the option crying my heart out yelling out "why?" Is not so fun. There is always something that is wrong whit the love I find, and it ends. I have almost given up. November 2011 I have moved out from my ex, I gave her my cat so she wold not be so sad, I have now lived whit a friend of mine for some months, I'm talking to a friend of mine that wants me to huck up whit her friend. So I think, that friends setting up other friends never works, she must be fat ore something. So I go to her Facebook profile, and are blown away, I am literally bat cave open my mouth and saying out loud but in norwegian omg (herregud) she is so freaking beautiful I can't even believe it. It takes me some minutes, and I'm "wait a minuet, what's wrong whit her?" And how in the world wold I have a shot whit this angel of man. But I try, and to a surprise to me, she ceeps getting perfect, she is so put together, smart, creative, inspiring, talented, funny, we only chatting on Facebook so fare, but we can't stop, we are like 13 years old again, giggling. We finally met in desember, and we have the best date I have ever had in my life, from the second we met we smiled, and cold not stop look at etch other. We went to a resturant, only for coffe, and we stayd til thay closed. It all went so smood, the end of the date, we did not want it to end, so we rented a move, witch in the end we never returned and basecly stole. I spent the night at her pleas. As I lie there in her apartment, I remember thinking, this girl, this perfect girl, she is going to be my wife. But I wasn't so, and it ended after in agust 2012, and I felt num and broken, lifeless. I tryed my best to get over her, tryed to date, but it was a half ass job. Until November, a girl I work whit the summer 2012, she is pretty, interesting, but I dated, so I cept her as a friend, even if she wanted more I felt, but my feelings was somewhere else, we cept in tutch, but not so mutsh. But in November 2012, she contacted me, we flirted, it was in the start purely sexual the whole thing, wanted to met for sex when she's back in Oslo January 2013. A think I wold normally not do, but she is so attractive. She told me she is in love whit me, I did not believe her, who can be in love whit some one in a short time like that. But we met, it was acvard, the sex was good but acvard. But as I wormed my self up to that she sudenly was in my life, I started to fall for her. She after the first ore second time told she loved me. I told her, lets take this slow, and explains to her that love is a big word. She is Spanish, I'm norwegian, her English not so good, and her norwegian just as bad as my Spanish. As we spend time, I started to get to know her, and I fell in love whit her. I did know from befor, she is never on time, that's ok, she's Spanish. As time went, I felt my heart beat for her, and I felt her love, how gorgeous she is, so beautiful, I wanted to give her all the good I can. And I think to my self, I'm going to take care of her, be there for her, help her, learn Spanish for her, learn her English and norwegian bether, I even belived she might be some one I can get old whit, I wanted that. So I told her I loved her, she got so happy. Then she did not show up to one of the times she told me she wold come to me, I belived she just was late,so I call her, she don't take her phone, and she did not reply to me before the last bus have went. She tells me it was a family thing, it's ok I say, just tell me the next time. She did it agein, I got sad, I was worred, what if something have happen, in the end I went to bed, and she came to me after midnight, I was angry, she notis I was, she got a little sad cos of that, I cold not stay mad, i loved her so, and was happy to see her. She won't so it agein she told me. And she did, and did not tell me why, this time I call her and show her clearly how angry i was, i love her, I don't know what's going on when she do this, are you breaking up whit me, did something happen are you ok, I can't know that when you don't tell me, it's ok that you can't come, things happen, but when you know that you can't come, you have to tell me, cos your always late, so I never know when your late ore when you don't show up, eigther way, you never take your phone, so I'm basecly are hous arrested and mentally tortured cos I don't know what's going on and I can't get a hold of you. She told me she never do this agein, she is sorry, she tells me to take more responsibility. She tells me that she have a surprise for me the next day. She comes and wake me up, she stands in my door in outdoors ativity cloads, her two sisters are outside in her car, we are going sledding, even pict up a friend. It was great fun, she is sporty and fun this girl. We went home to her mom, it was a great family, and I belived, if she wants me to met them, then she is serious about me. There are other times she dident show up I haven't told about. After the time whit her family, that was the last time I did see her. We was suppose to met the day after, she did not show up, the same old routine she did. But this time I had it, I had to get a hold of her, I ask her sister, her friend and so one were she is. It took some days this time, I coldent eat, sleep and almost not work. Finally she say she is alive, and the same old forgive me, and she love me thing she did, and want to see me the next day. I was happy, she did not show up, and it felt like my heart cot on fire, I was in pain. The next day, I got up, got her things together, and went to her hous, her mom and sister was home, but not her, she did not come home the other night.That broke my heart even more. I call her friend, she was there, so I went to her friends hous. Told her friend that I need to talk to her, she can't do this to me. Her friend won't let me in. I gave her things to this friend. I had it, and texted her "it's over, your torturing me, I'm deleting you from everything, good luck in life, take it easy whit the boys, they have a heart to" the next day, she told me that she now know I love her, and that I wold not have show up at her hous if I dident, she don't deserve me and her old routine. As stupid as I was, I gave her one last chance. We were going to met the day after, she told me good morning. And that's the last thing I heard from her. I call her, she is doing it agein, so I told her sister "your sister is the devil" the next day, her mother asks me to leve her alone. So I told her mom what she have don, and she got angry at her cos of this, but I told her mother that I will never talk to her dather agein, my heart can't take it. Sendt her a last text that I'm not only deleting her this time, but blocking her. I felt broken down and in pain, I cry. I don't understand how some one can do something like this, play whit my feelings like it was a game to them, so yes I named her the devil, cos I believe she is one, a evil girl. But I miss her, the smile, the voice, the kiss, her smel, the little things we did, looking at the walking dead, making food. I wanted so mutsh for her, take her dancing, movies, travel. She broke my heart, but I miss her. She broke my heart, but i wold take her back if she have changed her self. I feel stupid for falling in love whit a devil, and will forgive her for it. She can talk to me about eny thing, if she told me "I'm not that in love" then I wold have known, and it wold be so way better the torture she put me true. I wold be fine, and we might have been friends. The truth don't hurt in compare to lies and not knowing why.

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>>	4 comments

Got it?

October 21, 2012, 02:28:pm

Do you have instagram ? Find me, its nattgal :-)

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>>	leave a comment

Tumblr :D

June 27, 2012, 06:06:pm

WOOOOHOOOO i got 50folowers on my tumblr hehe www.nattgal.tumblr.com

intrested? take a look, i have 3 other tumblrs to

one of the ones i take my self www.nattgalsdominions.tumblr.com

and one thats just as it sounds

www.mytypeofporn.tumblr.com

and the things i hate

www.whythefuckisthiscool.tumblr.com

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