I'm actually kind of in a good mood today. A shocker I know. Shelby's at work though, so I'm really bored. I just need to occupy myself till he gets home.
I found out one of my best friends is moving to Kansas in a month. I'm pissed. -.- He's one of the few people here I can stand. Yeah I've complained about him a lot lately, but those are just rants and shit. I don't want him gone to the other side of the fucking country. Uuuuugh. It's so frustrating.
Oh yes please go on about how unreasonably happy you are tonight. Someone must have gotten laid. -.- While you're at it go ahead and tell me one more that you've felt a lot happier and social since we broke up. But I'll probably take that the wrong way again, because it obviously shouldn't make me feel like crap. I shouldn't just take that as oh, you were depressed and miserable all the time when we dated despite my efforts to make you happy. BUT HEY it's been peaches since I broke up with you for pretty much no reason at all. Nbd mate. Uuuugh fuck this I'm done ranting now. Making it realllly hard to stay friends with you when you say shit that makes me feel like crap.
I wish I could make coffee right now. Ugh. Mood: Fuckin irritated
You know what, fuck it. I'm done feeling guilty. You sure moved on quick, and I know you don't feel bad about it either. I'm glad that this chick you JUST met is able to help you feel so much better these days, as opposed to me, the girl you've known for 3 years, and claimed to be so in love with. I'm done hurting over you, and never feeling good enough for you. I was willing to move to another fucking state.
This is so stupid. I shouldn't be so upset. But what the fuck ever.
I'm feeling better now. Not sure what my deal with, but it's getting better. I'm going to work on my self confidence. I'm going to not give a fuck what other people think about me, and dress and act how I want because that's what I want. I tell myself this a lot. Just actually getting to it is the difficult part.
I wish I was thin. I wish my boobs were smaller. I wish my hair was longer and thicker. I wish people didn't find reasons to hate me when I've done nothing wrong. I wish I felt pretty. I wish I was more self confident. I wish I had real friends.
I wish I could be happy with the way I am right now.
