So, the one time that I stand up for myself to my sister and I piss her off. Of course, that would happen. She can't just listen to me. Nope. She has to throw a hissy fit and get pissy with me because I talked back to her. REALLY?! You're my sister, not my mother. If it was my mother, then I would understand not talking back. But to my sister and she's gonna boss me around? No. Also, now because I'm watching WWE RAW, my sister suddenly has a headache, so I have to turn it down. And my mother agrees with her. Fuck! >.< Mood: pissed Music: WWE RAW
So, today I had my zumba class. For those who don't know, zumba is a fitness class that is kind of like dancing to Latin music. It's very fun. But anyway, on the way home, I was following my mom since I had to leave work to go to the class. When I was pulling into the drive-way behind her, she almost closed the garage door on my car's front windshield and almost caused an accident. It wasn't until the garage door almost hit my car that she realized that I was pulling in right behind her and hit the garage door button again, causing it to reverse in the other direction. So, I almost died tonight and my mom feels really bad about it, even though I told her that it's fine and that I don't care; I didn't get hurt, so it's fine. She still doesn't believe me. Mood: fine Music: CSI
"Life is messy, Ren. It's not easy and it's definitely not for the timid. Everyone has a past. Things that stab them right between the eyes. Old grudges. Old shame. Regrets that steal your sleep and leave you awake until you fear for your own sanity. Betrayals that make your soul screams so loud you wonder why no one else hears it. In the end, we are all alone in that private hell. But life isn't about learning to forgive those who have hurt you or forgetting your past. It's about learning to forgive yourself for being human and making mistakes. Yes, people disappoint us all the time. But the harshest lessons come when we disappoint ourselves. When we put our trust and our hearts into the hands of the wrong person and they do us wrong. And while we may hate them for what they did, the one we hate the most is ourself for allowing them into our private circle. How could I have been so stupid. How can I have let them deceive me? We all go through that. It's humanity's Brotherhood of Misery."
"Tell me, Acheron. How do we find peace again when we have wronged ourselves and others?"
"If we are lucky, we find the one person who will hold our trust and keep it sacred and safe against all attackers. That one soul who will restore our belief that people are decent and kind, and that life, while messy, is still the most wondrous gift anyone can know. But until that day comes, we have to try and remember that home isn't a specific place or person. It's a feeling we carry inside ourselves. That touch of the divine that lights a fire inside that burns out the past and consumes the pain until nothing is left but warmth that allows us to love others more than ourselves. A warmth that only grows when we do right even while others seek to do us wrong. Peace is knowing that one life, no matter how trivial it seems, touches thousands of others, and learning to respect that about all people. While you may not mean much to the world, to those who really know and love you, you are their entire world. And it is the knowledge that no one can hurt you unless you allow them to. The only power they have isn't something they've taken or demanded. It's what we give them by choice. And while it is imperative that we vale the lives of others, it is equally important to value our own."
"You make it sound so easy, Atlantean."
"The truth is always simple, but the path to it is overgrown with thorns and lined with traps. Our fears and our emotions cloud even the brightest day and the clearest truth. Talk is cheap, actions are bloody. You can't plant the garden until you've overturned the soil. And nothing new can grow until the old dies. Lay your past to rest, Ren, so that your future can grow unimpeded by those ghosts. We can't change what we've done, but what we can always change what we're going to do."
-Ren and Acheron
from Time Untime by Sherrilyn Kenyon Mood: peachy Music: nothing