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kuddle_kunt_krissy's Journal
random thoughts
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confused
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October 09, 2008, 05:30:pm
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I am living so shall I be persecuted because I do feel,
shall I drown because I have needs and tears to shed without them,
if so then punish me its not like in the current situation I could smile anyways,
allways reaching for a little more then distance and only gaining lesser of a heart to sway.
If I do cry for you I would only in my heart die for you,
and in death I wouldnt even have you anyways Id be trapped under your feet,
while you walk among the strong and meak,
I cannot chase you forever my will is growing weak.
I find myself trapped in silence I cannot speak for theirs nothing I could say,
no expression could I bring to you would even slightly show my pain for you,
but your lost in a world where since I feel I must be madd,
I must be wronged in some diety of past and presant because to you, you are a saint and I am just a clown.
And its alright I still wake up in the same bed even though to still be next to you I swear I must have lost my head,
a dream I chase Ill never seem to wake the dreams a lie I am over tied,
I just wanted to expirience something real something beyond the loneliness I try not to wheel,
but all you see is straight through me you are a tree and I am only a missfortunate seed.
If their is hope for me out their I cannot hear its voice Im scared,
to feel for pain is not my dream to fight a battle that will continue for endlessly,
where has my dream for to run a sighn I need or mabie this is done,
fate is cruel and so is his sons.
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so I decided to make an idea storm in my jurnal
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September 22, 2008, 01:40:am
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Does anyone find it funny how in ones own excitement they can litterally forget about everything and everyone around them.
for what?
a tiny tingle in your stomache?
what if in those few seconds of tingly goodness someone realizes... they dont like you anymore.
Or when two people get so STOKED into their conversation everyone else in the group just doesnt get noticed anymore, like a third wheel phenominon.
Can you say theise people are your best friends, lovers, family? when really you know the second they find the next best thing your just old news till their bored again.
I dont wanna be that person anymore.
and I hope neither do you.
<3
kristie
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faceless
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September 16, 2008, 02:50:am
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Like a dream I am withtaken from myself do I dare hide,
to deny the eyes that which foresaken into this hole to myself I lie,
comfort bleeds in with wires I only breathe when I dont choke,
trapped in rooms of fire but I cannot see from flame to smoke.
Like winded days dare I say the moon will save me if I pray,
the moon is like the deaded sun when the moon is dead my dream is done,
carry me through pastures and drag me through your willful ways,
Im trapped in dreams where water rapids scream and cover me in yesterday.
If this yesterday could come tommorrow it would never stay,
Id wait and wait and wait and it would simply run away into too late,
my needs they are foresakened like triggers that bring holes that never bled,
the blood is lost within denials sin and drowning me in my own head.
Ive cryed for days yet no one stays to think do i dare not,
in the accusations through the belief I cannot feel the knife controls the knott,
I still love like empty hugs and razor blade heart rays,
through blackened eyes they twist the cries for tommorrows sun to stay.
Ill dance upon my own grave if for a second on my face a smile will it save,
lies show your not alive but yet your breathe you cannot hide,
I am not a number though I could be hearded just the same,
I am just a doll and I dont seem to have a face.
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sad but true
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September 16, 2008, 12:16:am
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jynxed
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September 11, 2008, 11:41:pm
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to fear for yesterdays bringing of another today,
a poisoned memory that leaves me entoxicated throughout my days,
to fear for which yet has not come to be,
to come to death is to get close to me.
I am a rose which has scavaged from its roots,
the roses whome had carried me had wilted and misstook,
If I were to have been carried through life I would have been dropped,
those who got close to me were soon to be not.
I have lost from one life to the next,
I have spent an eternity to seek out but never the less,
every oportunity that passes in the dark I am left,
from one death to one horror from one personality to a lie,
I am still the clown and you are someones tool and in the fear we shall never be alive.
Mood: numb
Music: buzzing
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