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emo14angel's Journal
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homesick
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July 24, 2008, 04:54:pm
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I moved yesterday from Buckinghamshire to Dorset, for those of you that dont know england too well, thats 100 miles, about an hour and a half in the car difference.
I found it really hard to say my goodbyes, i never thought it would be that hard, ovr a year ago i would have given anything to up and leave, i was just miserable all the time, but then a lot of things in my life became more positive i found a new group of friends, sure they made me miserable sometimes, but at the same time they helped me out in ways i dont think they will ever understand.
The past year of my life has been the best of my entire life and i feel now that i have got to the place where i am happy....i have gone and left it all behind
a lot of people have asked me why i am moving and i have always said i am not really sure. but in the depths of my heart i know this move is for my mum, her illness is still there and has left her very shaken and i know she has this pipe dream of the seaside and this idelic life. whether thats due to her state of mind i dont know. but i just hope she gets from this what she needs.
for me i dont think this will ever be home for me, not truly.
by the sounds of things my dad truly expects me to move out when i turn 18, mum says i can stay, but i dont know if i can put up with my dad much more. so i may not be here long anyway =/
feeling mega homesick right now, and very alone, i know like no one here right now
worst of all terrible cig craving, been trying to cut down and i am currently out of them, and i dont know what shops would be open at this time of night, either way it would be a trek to find out. urgggggh
xxx
Music: everyday is exactly the same - NIN
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I am worried, I am really hoping I am just totally mis-reading signals
There is this guy Micheal who I havent known long, but is really close with my best friend
His long term girlfriend recently killed herself [long story]
& hes been haning round with me and my friends a lot lately
& he wants to hang out tomorrow
But i feel kinda awkward, because hes not really my mate, hes my friends mate
But i dont wana say no
=/
also i am grounded so i have to sneak out
x
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Birthday, exams and blah
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June 08, 2008, 11:39:am
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Sweet 16, or not as the case may be
Its my birthday tomorrow
I can leagally have a baby, get married, join the army, win the lottery, own a chainsaw, drive a moped and own a counsil flat
but i cant smoke, drink or drive a car...
what weird laws we have
I cant really say I am looking forward to it, dont know why
havent asked for anything in perticular this year, just money
Havent got a party planned, tried making plans, but all my friends seem busy
should really be studying for my exams, but i lack the attention and focus
x
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February 03, 2008, 01:00:pm
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Odd day.
Got up dead early to revise for my exam
it went ok, i stuttered in the sight reading and mixed up some of the theory, but it went ok overall.
We then went out to lunch with my aunt and uncle -_-
the food was nice, but they had invited some of their friends along, it was rather dull
but i had a lot of wine and some port so that was a plus i guess
Beki called me.
I know i always wanted one of my friends to like anime too, but...now i hve got beki to like anime i have changed my mind. Anime is solely my thing amongst my friends at school, i am the one who talks about it, draws it, watches it, i love it and i enjoy being different. but after introducing beki to death note on friday she has already gone home and brought all the dvd's and films...i just feel suddenly like i want it to be just me again =/ what should i do?
x
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