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clarad001's Journal
My depresssing life style
This is about my lonely life and annoying ppl who get in my way.
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soooo far...........
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November 19, 2008, 11:58:pm
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I kinda miss someone, his name is callum, I havent talked to him in a while and I have a feeling that I will ever talk to him again, I do miss him.
I have a bf now, not too crazy about him, I suppose its because I am with him for the wrong reasons. I am not in love with him or find him attractive maybe because he is a guy and not a girl. He is a good guy and a little to much to handle at times.
Maybe I shouldnt care, its not like something better well ever came to me, no girl. Even though I have a sercent crush on a Girl but she doesnt play like that. I think I am just afaird just because I am not the norm. I am still a virgin and I dont want to be with someone who wants to just do it or be like 10 to 20 years older than me, like the guys I have meet.
No girl I want seems to want me back. So I have given up and will stay with this guy who has a great personality but is 4 years older than me, has lots of money and is ugly which breaks my heart to say he is.
but you know what who cares because no one is even reading this and cares. gosh I sound like Callum.
Working tomorrow. I hope its a better day
Mood: not so great
Music: NIN - Echos
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Wow
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November 04, 2008, 11:50:pm
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nothing to say today, everyone nows who won in America
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Transformation
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November 02, 2008, 03:15:am
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I feel alot older, I no longer say I am 19. I say I am almost 20. I am thinking of marriage and work and my future. I hope I can do something.
there has to be something beyond this moment. there has to be something, something I dont know yet.
My answers well soon be there. just wish I knew what the real question is
I still feel bad what I said abotu kyles mom and the fact that I called her a bitch doesnt bother me its the fact that she is dead. I knew before hand and yet I still laughed. I hope he can forgive me
Mood: good
Music: boulevard of broken songs
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ALEXIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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October 28, 2008, 09:41:pm
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I think its going to be over and done, I am going to finally give up on Alexis. because I know she doesnt want anything to do with me. she is just being nice after all. I think she has a girlfriend. its the end of me. Ah well
so on Thursday or wednesday I am going to see if I am going to still be working at starbucks. If not. no big whip but the only reason I want to stay is to see Alexis even when I know its over and done.
give up on my work, give up on my love life and my pitful life. I wish I could find something to do with it. I wish I didnt feel like such a loser.
I wont ever admit am wrong and if I am forced to feel like I have to. I'll leave. I hope I make the right decision.
Mood: unsure of whats to came
Music: will be listening to nin soon enough
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interesting quiz I found .... <3
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October 28, 2008, 01:36:am
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I am asnwering for myself XD
Would You Kiss Me?
[x] Yes [] No [] Maybe [] Already Did
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Am I hot?
[] No! [] OK [x] Fine [] Beautiful [] Gorgeous!
[] fucking SEXY
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Would you hug me?
[x] Yes [] No [] Already did
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Do you think I'm a virgin?
[x] Yes [] No [] Don't know
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Would you have sex with me?
[x] Yes [] No
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Name one thing you would like to do to me...
[x] be your girlfriend. (am so vain)
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Do you want me to be yours? ((Aka Boyfriend))
[x]yes !!!!!
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I look like..
[] A player
[] One time thing
[x] Next bf/gf
[x] A friend
[x] A friend with benefits
[x] A possibility
[x] Another somebody
[x] A pop star!! *.*
[] A future Husband/wife
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If you saw me for the first time, would you talk to me?
[x] Yes [] No [] maybe
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Would you rather...
[] Hook up with me
[x] Cuddle with me
[x] Date me
[x] Friends
[] Friends with benefits
[] Have Sex
[] none
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On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest), rate me.. (Be honest haha)
[] 1 [] 2 [] 3 [] 4 [] 5 [] 6 [] 7 [] 8 [] 9 [xx] 10
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What would you want me to be to you?
[x] Friend
[x] boyfriend/girlfriend
[] Friend with benefits
[] hubby/wifey
[x] Cuddle Bear
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Would you give me your number?
(416)just-ask
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Are you going to repost this so I can answer for you?
[xxx] Yes [] No
Mood: laughing
Music: do it for now
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