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brused_n_broken's Journal
a lil about me
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[[A bit of a rant about myself...]]
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July 25, 2008, 11:15:pm
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I'm Crystal.
I'm capable of carrying out full conversations in my sleep.
I'm far too complex to even begin to be described in an "about me".
It takes years to get to know me, and even then...
there's most likely more to know.
I promise I will love you until I don’t.
I’m a cynic, a smart ass, and come armed with a razor sharp wit.
I believe in class and I may well be the most adorable person you will ever meet.
I pretend that cool doesn’t exist,
inertia doesn’t matter,
and that Gerard Way is coming to my college graduation.
I am hard and cold as fuck,
but will instantly crumple under idealism.
I used to be a writer, but now I just do everything else.
I exist right in between the cause and the effect, and I'm a pretty impossible girl to be with.
I am not ashamed of what you think I should be.
I will not tame myself.
My memory is like a safe.
My heart is gold plated.
My personality has no place to go home to.
I'm a perfectionist, I'm a workaholic,
and I'm a bit too strange for my own good.
I guess you could say I'm an extreme personification of
a natural side of the human persona which most try desperately to hide.
I hate when people say that everything happens for a reason.
That's definitely NOT true.
Life is random and cruel. Fucking accept it and stop making excuses.
People never know what to think of me. I always just leave those I know confused.
I have a tendency to intentionally isolate myself.
Shut myself off from the world.
Don't ever just assume that I'm ignoring you,
I just go through times every now and then when I disappear.
I know better than to trust anyone. Ever.
I don't care what race, religion, gender, nationality, or sexual orientation you are.
NOBODY is superior to ANYONE ELSE.
Nor does anyone have the right to tell anyone else how to live.
If anyone REALLY had it figured out, the world wouldn't be the way it is.
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[[Theres nothing you can do..]]
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July 17, 2008, 11:08:pm
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Im Pretty.. But im not beautiful
i sin.. but im not a devil.
Im good but im no angel
I'm the kind of girl you can hear from miles away. The kind if your sad, it's her job to make you happy. They kind of girl that keeps messen' up and saying "oops sorry" I get mad over the simplest of things. But I'm also the kind of girl who holds everything back, and if you ask me whats wrong... I'll just lie& smile and say, "oh nothing." The girl that is afraid to love because she's already lost so much.
[It breaks your heart] when the people you know; become the people you knew. when you can walk rite past someone as if they were never a HUGE part of your life. you use to be able to talk for hours on the phone. &&now you cant even look them in the damn eye. it completely breaks your heart when you know good things change. [and theres nothing you can do]
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[[I'm losing faith in humanity...]]
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July 17, 2008, 10:29:pm
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You kids with your predjudice...your obsession with fitting in...buying Hollister, Baby Phat, Sean Jean ect. (and all that prototypical crap).... because if you don't have, it you feel left out, and that noone will like you..
Insecurity...immaturity..lack of self esteem and personal identity.
Your stereotypes of "scenekids","emo's","hardcore kids"..blah blahhhh blah.
Since when do you need to put yourself into some fucking box to feel like you belong? And put others into it, so that you can feel good about yourself?
Sorry to tell you childish imbeciles who think that way...but just because someone dresses a certain way...or likes a certain type of music, or has a certain colour of skin doesn't make them like EVERYONE else who looks that way, or likes the same band. Look up narrow minded in the dictionary. I bet your picture is right there.
Educate yourself. Learn tolerance, learn respect. Most of all...learn to love yourself. People who make fun of others commonly do so because they themselves feel insecure. So, in order to make themselves feel better...they attempt to degrade another to bring them down, so they feel higher. Everyone is guilty of it at some point. But some kids are just ridiculous about it.
I remember when everyone used to go to shows to see the bands play, and most kids got along...and their weren't as many stereotypes around. Less drama, less fighting. Less aggravation. No kids beating one another up over a hairstyle. Like, fuck, come on, who beats someone up over their hair? Someone with serious anger issues who needs therapy.
I heard some kid in mexico got beat to death over it.
Sickening.
I'm losing faith in humanity...realizing how hypocritical, bitter, and prejudice this world around me truly is.
Next time you see someone picking on another for no reason, and you can end it non violently, Do it. And next time someone gets a sweet new haircut or cool shoes, or they say something really intelligent, compliment them. If we all did that rather than bitching about each other all day long, it would be a completely different place.
Plus, it's good karma  lol
Anyways.
Mood: Ranting
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[[I'll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake]]
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July 16, 2008, 03:49:pm
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Im just here to have fun!
i'm Crystal, & I've done everything, sue me.
I talk major shit,
don't care who you are, I do it.
Yea I'm a bitch,
get over it.
I'm not going to pause my fucking life to sit there and
listen to you whine.
I may not be as pretty as all the fucking little scene
whores on vampirefreaks
but I sure can make you love me as much as you sit there
with your fucking lotion and sock.
I'm blunt,
I'm sarcastic.
If I don't talk to you,
it's for a reason.
I'm a bitch to people I don't like.
[[ IF I DON'T LIKE YOU, YOU WILL KNOW IT]]
I am a very cold hearted person to people who are below me.
I hate underachievers,losers,and wannabes.
I can be conceited,but who isn't these days?
I'm NOTgoing to say that I'm the nicest person you will
ever meet; it's cliche.
But, I am going to say that I am pretty fucking radd.
People hate me, people love me,it's all the same these days.
I'm not part of your fucking scene or anyone else's.
Sometimes I turn down that wrong road just to get lost and
now because of that I have a story to tell.
I use creativity and imagine the world how I want to see
it not just how it is,
I believe that we should all
be
who we want to be and NOT wat others want
I might have dreams but I also have goals.
I'm NOT truly sure who I am, but I like who I've become
and intend on growing more and more.
I'm not the type of person to push my ideas on to you.
If you're not into what I am then I highly respect that.
I'm not the type of person who doesn't talk to you because
of the way you look or dress, what you say or what you do.
You're your own person and I respect that I'm not going to
try to change you, and you cant expect me to change for you.
I'm not the type of person you see out at parties getting
wasted, I live above the influence.
I don't tend to complete task, just start them and hope
for the best.
I'm the girl that needs to find out things on my own, say
every bad thing in the book about something and I'll
still go for it
If you cared about me at all you'd look past this and be
there when I fall.
I'm sweet and funny and really nice, but I can also be serious and a huge bitch.
I always look really happy, but I'm good at faking a
smile.
I'm simple yet confusing.
I'm not your first your last your forever.
I'll break your heart and date your best friend.
& you cant deny that
I'll be the ONE mistake you'll carry FOREVER... I'll make you sweat, I'll make you shake, I'll make you moan I'll make you nervous. I'll make you love me.. My voice and my laugh.
And you'll want to hate me.
I'm probably lying,.... So when I do tell the truth you wont believe me.
I know that im being used.. That’s okay because I like the abuse. I know you're playing with me..
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