Funny how someone messaged Dietrick saying I was talking to someone else. FYI I'm NOT. I'm not talking to ANYONE. So whoever did it, fess the fuck up. You're not funny...ruining something I actually fucking wanted. Why does everyone do this shit to me? It's NOT okay.
I'm so happy I could literally cry. Even though what I found out today isn't really good at all, it still made me very happy.
After 4 years of struggling with my shoulder pain, I've never been to a chiropractor. Only specialists. As a last resort, I went to the chiropractor today. He pressed on both sides of my neck and asked me where I felt pain. I didn't feel pain. Instead my entire right arm went numb so he gave me neck X-rays (which I've had a lot of already) and he said he knows the problem. My 5th and 6th vertebrae are pinching on the nerves in between this. Yes, this is a serious issue, but I'm glad I finally know the cause of my neck and shoulder pain. He gave me neck exercises to do, and I have to see him every week for a few months to see if he can fix it... He might not be able to and I might have to seek better help but this just clears things up(':
Seriously never in my life have I had a week this horrible.
Well basically today is just horrible...and is progressively getting even more horrible. Hmm where do I begin?
So yesterday, I woke up in the middle of the night unable to move my right arm or move my head to the left or barely to the right. I shook it off, put a heating pad on my shoulder, and went back to bed. Then I wake up in the morning and the right side of my chest and back are swollen...along with the right side of my neck and shoulder. I said whatever and went to school. By 11 O'clock I text messaged my mom in tears because I can't even hold up my purse without the worst pain in my life. She said to go to the nurse and have my dad pick me up. So I did. I went to the nurse, called my dad, and asked him to pick me up. Literally, word for word, so everyone in the Nurse's office could hear (The nurse, and a few other students whom I didn't know. Upper classes) "Brianna, I'm not fucking picking you up. Suck it up and brush it the fuck up. Stop being a god damn baby. I'm going back to fucking sleep." and hung up. So I got pissed off and without a word to the Nurse, I just got up and left. I text messaged my mom and she said that it was okay and called him an asshole and that he was inconsiderate and all this... So in the last few periods of the day, in 8th period Chorus I started crying because for some reason I'm turning blue on my chest and it's so painful. So my friend Bri noticed and went down to the nurse and asked for her Vicodin. She wasn't allowed to get it until 9th. So when I was leaving school she gave me a Vicodin and that's the only thing that's keeping me sane right now.
Then when I got home, I got bitched at for like an hour straight by my dad saying that he's not my mother and he doesn't care about how I feel. Literally I just locked myself in the bathroom and cried. I know I get a little old with this "Oh my shoulder hurts wahhhh-" bullshit, but you don't understand. I have the pains of a 50 year old man in my shoulder and if I was able to just "brush it off" and "suck it up" I would have done that 4 years ago when it started. Then he goes "Oh by the way, your dog's sick."
So I take my Chihuahua, Angel outside to check up on her... and she's making these disgusting noises and can barely walk. She's 10 years old now, and getting to the end of her life. l: It's just been a horrible day... I just want to disappear. I want to tell my dad I'm sorry that I can't be perfect, and I can't be the daughter he wanted (even though I was a legit accident), but... I know I shouldn't do that. It's not my place, and I know I shouldn't be sorry for who I am.... but I do anyway. I wish he knew that... I'll never tell him... but that's okay. I'll let it all out on here....
I had a nice ass day... Shane noticed I was in an amazing mood and said it made him happy(: Well after school me and my slutbag Emily went for a 4 mile jog. And on the 2 miles back, I was texting my friend Joe and was like "Gotta go. My phone's dead, and I'm going my unfit ass back from the bridge!"... so like 4 minutes later I see Joe on his bike an I was like "HUASIGNA DA'FUQ?" I don't know how he did it, but it took him exactly 4 minutes to get two miles on his bike. He's fit as FUCK. So I said bye to him, and carried on jogging. Then he came back and had like 482589 gallons of iced tea and I realllllyyy needed a drink so he was like "DDD GOTTA RUN FOR IT!!" ... -__- So I ran... just to get a drink...<3 I love my JoeJoe. When I get back from Tennessee he said we need to go jogging together... but Shane doesn't like me with any other guy... like... anyone.
But besides that, I called my friend Kenny in the middle of class 2nd period and was like "Yo Home SLICCCCCEEEEE. Make me an Italian Hoagie when you get to work... and I'll have my mom get it off you later<3333" So he did... and when my mom gave it to me he wrote "Home silce<3" on it<3333 gosh my friends mean the WORLD to me... they don't even know... I'd do anything for them... they do SO much for me already...
Well I leave for Tennessee Thursday morning at like 5:30... but I have to be at the school before then to get on the bus... I'll be there all weekend...and until Monday... it's depressing that I won't really be able to blog for you guys... but only Bri reads these I've noticed so it's okay... It's gonna suck... 4 days... without... a single...smoke.... I was thinking I could smoke in the hotel bathroom during my shower, but no. They have silent smoke alarms in there... and I'd be fucked if I got caught... plus NONE of my friends know I smoke. NAH'WELL.
SIDE NOTE. I want a hamburger bed... even though I don't eat meat... it just looks bitchin' as FUCK.
I'm ending this fucking stupid ass rant...of nothing... but my day... MEHEHEHEH...
LMAO. So Shane's mom probably HATES me after tonight. It was cold in his room so we were cuddling totally under the blankets and his mom walks in and was like "UMMMMMM... O___O There's pizza out there...if...you guys...want any."... I was like "fuckdamnshitfuckpussyfuckdickkkk"... because it looked like we were doing it... so I made Shane explain to her I'm not like that and we weren't doing that. Hahaha. And Shane hates country music, and so does his whole family, but his neighbor Dom loves it... so when he was over he was like "I'm gonna set the mood. *puts on Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.*" ... Shane was like "No. ruined it..."
But so much other funny shit happened tonight... his little sister who's 3, kept walking in and was like "HANEEE, GET OUT." ... She can't say S's c': So Dom was like "*covers eyes* ONEEEE, TWOOOO, THREEE."...So she ran and hid X'3
Well my mom is mad at my blogging. So GOOOODnight.
Literally about to cry... my shoulder blade and neck...hurt...so fucking...bad... I've literally given up on trying to get help for my shoulder... nothing helps at all. I've had MRIs where they've found nothing, I've gotten MULTIPLE steroid injections under my shoulder blade to try and help, didn't work, only made things worse, I've been to Physical Therapy more than once, that didn't help. I took my doctor's advice and worked out everyday, twice a day, and that didn't help. This is bulllllshittt. I swear, I will go out of state to find a damn doctor that will actually figure out what's wrong... Tendonitis does not fucking last for over 4 years... I'm almost out of my daily medication, I have no more refills, and it's just going to get worse and worse... ughhgahhughhhhhh.
Besides the fact that I don't feel like moving, I've had a good day. I got out of school early to go to the mall to get stuff for Tennessee. I got like 3 pairs of shoes, and like 23590235720 outfits...
Well spending the day with Shane tomorrow... then ya' know... chilling for the weekend because I have nothing else to do...
Sorry I'm never on here... I really only use VF to vent and tell people how I'm feeling... even though only one person reads this shit.
DDD GOTTA RUN FOR IT!!" ... -__- So I ran... just to get a drink...<3 I love my JoeJoe. When I get back from Tennessee he said we need to go jogging together... but Shane doesn't like me with any other guy... like... anyone.