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anixaz's Journal
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contradiction
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June 19, 2008, 07:09:pm
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i hate having u by pieces
i hate i forgot ur image
i hate u forgot mine
i hate ur mysterious way of beeing
i hate i dont know every cm of u
i hate not beeing able to do it
i hate thinkin i cant
i hate not beeing in ur mind
i hate ure not in mine
i hate beeing two when we could be one
i hate not beeing able to think u as i wish
i hate thinking u as i do
i hate i have no memories of u
i hate having the ones i have
i hate ure hidding away from me
i hate u wanna do it
i hate missing u sometimes
i hate i dont miss u othertimes
i hate not wishing u
and i would hate me more if i did knowing now that all my life schemes would collapse and it would be in vain cause its not my shape ure missing in ur bed when u open ur eyes, nor when u close them, and its not my name u crawl for when u feel lost and lonely, and its not me the reason nor the cause of ur intense heart beats, and u dont feel me... and u forget me... and u get used to it... and u accept it.
*feeds chris fresh milk
Mood: disconcerted
Music: Suppa Micro Pamchop - Bonaza
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If i had something to offer u, i would... but theres nothing left inside me but crap. Ive been okay with all i had and knew before and i can almost swear nothing has changed. This world had suddenly grown and left me in my little perfect one. I used to feel like i knew all, and now i feel so tiny, so insignificant in this big black hole. What the fuck happened? i think im just getting to know me, thought i did, but i realise that i discover something new every day about myself, so this is a new thing ive discovered today: im afraid of unknown people, unknown situations; i want to live but im afraid of it; im afraid of all i wanna do with all my heart. The shape ive been creating for my ass all this time, is not enough now, i need more, but i dont know what. thats the worst part. I got the moon, the beach, the night, my buddies <3, they help me lots for now, i just need more...
Mood: wtf?
Music: adapt - otra vez
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fuckin photoshop and fuckin key-gen!!!
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April 21, 2008, 02:07:pm
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kay kay kay,
ima explain my situation.. :]
photoshop cs 3, keygen lost somewhere in my pc, and i dont know why i got a giant need to work with it!!!
any help for a *idk a shit about programs* like me?
1330-1751-1921-7520-1721-1350 or 1330-1363-7694-4895-1528-1544 or 1330-1800-5141-4335-5864-7292 or 1330-1639-1879-7614-0164-0352 or 1330-1313-7694-4895-1528-1598 or 1330-1863-9167-6007-0649-1177 or 1330-1793-3705-2324-5056-2305 or 1330-1455-9505-9239-2041-4849
This is driving me insane
Oo
oO
Oo
-o
O-
--
Mood: insane
Music: Secede - Born in a Tropical Swamp
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Things are changing
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March 22, 2008, 04:33:am
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History is the present and the future. Its assumed that we should learn from our mistakes, but we keep falling in the same shit over and over again. To better or to worst, things are constantly spinning. U fall in love, u have a fight, u breake up, u even get to hate that person who used to make u so happy once. *Why do we forget the good things and we only remeber the bad ones?*... Anyways, time passes, u forget him/her, and then is when you see that hope again and slowly u start to trust people again and u wait to meet that special someone.
This was a fact, until a few days ago, when i met u, and thats really strange. I had no hope, i still was in the moment of no trusting, i wasnt expecting to meet someone cause i was just fine alone. But u changed it. It started with a joke, then i pushed u to a limit by telling u i didnt want to share u, just to see your reaction. And i was, and still am, amazed by the way u reacted. I think that was the way to get to my heart. Well, u got there, in one night *amazing huh?, its amazing how simple i can be, how did u know it???*. So, its not a joke anymore, not for me. U made me trust u, believe everything u say to me, even if thats the biggest lie ever... U treat me as if i was a queen, i though i didnt need that, but damn it feels so good hearing that u mean so much for someone... U know what i need, and u give it to me even if i dont ask for it... Ure constantly trying to help ure friends when they need it.. pffff.. Ure a wonderful person, and i mean it!
So i guess things are changing, and i cant believe they got better, i couldnt be better now. Talking with u, smiling, cause u got a special way to make me smile, and ure allways on that way!!! Hope this gonna last forever, and im gonna do all i can to make it that way, to make u feel good, cause u deserve the best.
Semicolon, this will be continued XD
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