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achaziel's Journal
.oh how wonderful to talk to yourself.
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fuck it.
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November 23, 2008, 05:50:am
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thank god i already got used to the thought of dying alone. i don't like it, but i got used to it. i mean, how come that every fucking single date i have ends up with exactly the same sentence(?): "you're such a cute and handsome guy, and i really like you a lot, but just as a good friend..."
seriously, HOW THE FUCK COME?
i mean, it's not like i'd be treating women bad. it's not like i'm utilizing them to any extend. it's not like i'm forgetting about everything they tell me. it's not like i'm just being nice to them to get head. and it's not like i'm looking for a cheap one night stand.
weird thing is that most of those girls (who reject me, but all the others too ofc) tend to fall for guys who will treat em like a pile of shit. you know, the typical assholes who seem to be quite ok for the first instance, but turn out to be the biggest assholes and chauvinists worldwide, once you get to know them.
i shall ask once again... _how_come_?
ok, i am well aware that i'm definately not the most beautiful guy on earth. i am well aware that my name isn't brad pitt or george clooney or [insert random good-looking hollywood actor here], but hey, i can't be that ugly... or am i? ah well. probably it's just because i'm a freak. i still could change myself, but that wouldn't be me, you know? my motto still is "it's better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you've never been".
looks like that motto isn't helping me at all. ah well... fuck it.
probably i just take things too serious. which isn't surprising, taking in account that i got rejected by every single girl i asked out so far. you know.... i have feelings too. underneath the gasmask, there's a fragile mind which is painfully longing for somebody to share my life with. but i can't help it but thinking that all those ideals i stand up for are dead nowadays. modern society doesn't give a shit about such ideals, all they give a shit about is sex. sex as a cheap ware, aviable anytime for thoughtless consumption, exploited for advertisments and therefore disenchanted.
i know this sounds cheesy. i know my ideals are old fashioned. but hell, those are MY ideals. i don't see a human being as an object which only purpose is to please my desire. i see humans - especially women - as what they are. humans. or let it put it this way: i USED to see humans as humans. not sure whether i'm still able to do so.
anyways.... you know what else i'm sick of? that very end of that set phrase i mentioned in the first paragraph. you know how it ends? it always ends with: "i'm SOOO sorry..."
spare me your so-called charity. SHUT THE FUCK UP. you aren't sorry. you've never been. you don't give a rats arse. so don't lie to me.
and don't even think about coming to me if your boyfriend you rejected me for beats the shit out of you. because i won't care.
period.
Mood: desperate.
Music: diary of dreams - son of a thief
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why yes, i AM bored.
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November 04, 2008, 10:51:am
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THE RULES ARE AS FOLLOWS:
1. You can only say Yes or No!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks!
3. DO NOT SAY ANYTHING BESIDES YES OR NO!!!
4. Repost this as the Yes/ No Game!
Kissed someone on your top friends? No
Over 18? Yes
Ever told a lie? Yes
Tripped on mushrooms? No
Kissed a picture? Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes
Held an actual snake? No
Ran a red light? No
Been suspended from school? No
Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? No
Sang karaoke? Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
Laughed until you spit out something you were drinking? Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes
Kissed in the rain? Yes
Sang in the shower? Yes
Sat on a roof top? No
Thought about your past with regret? Yes
Been pushed in the pool with your clothes on? No
Broken A Bone? No
Shaved your head? No
Blacked out from drinking? No
Had a gym membership? No
Been in a band? No
Shot a gun? Hell Yes 
Liked someone with nobody else knowing about it? Yes
Played strip poker? No
Donated Blood? Yes.
Liked someone you shouldn't? Yes
Have a tattoo? No
Have or had any piercings besides ears? No
Made out with a complete stranger? No
Caught someone cheating on you? No
Got caught by the cops? No
Hitched a ride? No
Regret any of your ex's ? No
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MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS! JOY!
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October 26, 2008, 06:05:pm
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alright folks. i was EXTREMELY bored. so i decided to make fun of you. heh. how mean, i know...
anyways. here are a couple of motivational posters for ya, people. use them as signs if you want to. and have fun with em. if you feel like i insulted you or somethin, just tell me. i'll listen if you're lucky.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST... i made one with a pic of myself. FOR JUSTICE!
i know i missed some of my friends here, but i just had no idea what text i should add. but don't worry, creativity might strike me again. probably sooner as you wish.
Mood: witty
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har har
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October 23, 2008, 06:07:pm
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go and....
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October 13, 2008, 06:58:pm
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...check this out! my very best painting so far.
CLICK ME FOR GODS SAKE!
Mood: happay!
Music: phil colins - i can
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