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dead a doornail
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April 03, 2008, 08:30:pm
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so yeah. i haven't been on in so fucking long i feels like mother fuckin ages really. but heres the damned news report live from the bastard ace himself. my best friend and the girl i loved died in a car crash. well to be honest she died in the hospital after being in a coma for a week. she woke up briefly and then kicked it when she went back to sleep. yeah i may sound like an unsensitive bastard but well fuck i miss her and to let all my real emotions out would kill me and probably a few other people at this point so i have to be a mother fuckin stone wall about this shit.
i feel like everything she did for me and taught me (well at least some of it) has gone down the tubes. i've gotten in a shitload of fights and i almost actually killed someone but i got lucky and my mates restrained me. oh well. yeah i'm a psycho there aint much to do about that. i haven't started drinking again (cause the bastard who killed my darling was drunk at the time) but i started smoking. course i smoke a very special kind of cigarette. no weed no store boght shit. i smoke my own rolled ones. whoo hoo. go me. what the fuck?! i'm seriously insane now. my old split personality black side as my friends so fondly referred to it has come back and hard and strong. he's like an insane monster. so yeah that about wraps it up. i'm a bat shit crazy nut job and my most loved and cherished friend is six feet under and helping the motehr fuckin daisies up. i thnk i need to go to a mental ward...
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poetry
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December 13, 2007, 11:12:pm
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Wandering soul
My soul
It’s lost in the flood of despair
It cries out
But no one helps
My soul
It wanders this world
This cold, cold world
It strives to find some warmth
To heat its weary limbs
The warmth of love
My soul
It staggers under the load
The load of other’s problems
This load it has agreed to bear
Never diminishing
Never lightened
How does my soul walk
With the shackles of its own problems
around it’s feet
my soul
cries out to that lost touch
the touch of warmth
the touch that made it smile
but that touch is gone
it is so cold here
my soul
stands next to the grave of the dead
remembering the times
when others were once alive
this soul
it wanders this world
seeking to find the end of it’s journey
how long will it wander
will it be there forever
my soul
this battered lonely soul
is wandering
always wandering
looking for you
my love
looking for the end of the trail
trying to find your embrace
looking for the end
looking for you
but my soul
is still wandering
Mood: depressed
Music: random shit
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