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_Zsadist_'s Journal
WTF?!?!?!
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Alice In Chains
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August 24, 2008, 04:50:pm
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Oh, there ain't no love nowhere... well... maybe.
- from the beginning of a Steve Vai song
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Well, what do I say about Alice In Chains. One of the not-unknown but not-quite-Nirvana-status bands from out of the Seattle-grunge movement. One of the better ones, in my opinion. One fronted by a man named Layne Staley with a voice that you didn't soon forget. One who might not have gained the renown of some of their brethren, but were no less influential, talented, or important.
What's NOT to like?!
I'm not the biggest AIC fan you know, I don't like every single AIC song I hear, and I don't have much of their work, but they definitely deserve a spot on my list. Songs like "Would?", "Them Bones", and of course "Rooster" ensured that.
Plus, with my obsession with compelling vocalists, you think I could deny Staley?! Fuck outta here.
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The Davey Havok Band -- I mean AFI
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August 16, 2008, 03:15:pm
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Was it better without him or is it worse with him?
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It's a known fact that most people can recognize Ziggy Stardust contemporary and vocalist Davey Havok before they can recognize AFI as a whole. Hence the title. But me, I didn't know who Davey Havok was until a good year after I got into AFI's sound. Go figure.
In high school, my friend Morgana was into AFI. Like, obsessively into. I was more of a Disturbed child myself, but there you go  Sing the Sorrow was out and AFI had just risen to a more prominent position in the music universe... but me, I wasn't too impressed with the singles -- "The Leaving Song Pt. II" and "Girl's Not Grey". Like I said, it's a far shot from Disturbed to AFI.
It was after I left high school that I suddenly -- I don't remember how, surprisingly -- found a fondness for AFI's gloomy-doomy-glammy-postpunky sound. I ended up buying STS, and eventually learned to love the singles... but it was the non-singles that really captured my attention. "But Home is Nowhere", "Death of Seasons", "This Celluloid Dream".... and don't get me started on "This Time Imperfect". I've probably gone through 3 copies of that CD in the span of three years, which shows how much that thing spun around in my CD players.
The biggest thing that kept me into AFI was Havok's English-major lyrics. A lot of them are a bit too far-reaching for me, but songs like "This Time Imperfect" and "God Called in Sick Today" seem to capture the very essence of the emotions I tie to them. Put simply, the man has a way with words that transcends being able to form a coherent sentence. And I value that in a songwriter.
It's that simple.
[And see how I didn't even bring up the other members of AFI in this whole thing? Havok has some kind of gravitational pull around him. For the record, Adam, Hunter, and Jade are just as awesome. There, I can sleep tonight.]
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10 Years, etc...
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August 15, 2008, 01:19:pm
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I will never be happy, but can I at least be less unhappy?
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I saw 10 Years open for Sevendust last year. I really enjoyed how Jesse, lead vox, communicated with the audience instead of just standing up there and singing. When they debuted a new song, he even told us what the chorus was so we could sing along [the song's officially out now, I hear...] As for the music itself, I don't know how to classify it... it's not hard, it's not heavy, it's not that soft either. I guess it's somewhere left of the middle.
I'm not the hugest fan of the band, but when I got The Autumn Effect I found myself really liking a couple of the songs. "Half-Life" being the most prominent of them.
Not much else to say besides that...
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So by September 1st I should be back on the streets again. Hooray hooray.
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Shinedown - Skynyrd Contemporaries they're Not
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August 10, 2008, 02:42:pm
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My friends are happy and that makes me sad.
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Shinedown. I don't even know where to begin with this one.
Well, the band came about at just the right time, I can say that. When ".45" debuted on the radio, it was as if by divine design. I understood ".45". I was of the same mindset. I too was mourning the loss of some part of me. I too was wondering why I insisted on plodding through a life that had already crashed and burned. And I believed in the voice that delivered the message.
Brent Smith's voice is probably the predominant reason I listen to Shinedown, the lyrical content a very close second. It's right up my I-love-emotionally-charged-vocalists alley, and its range is just short of awesome. Sometimes I forget that their cover of "Simple Man" is just that -- a cover... because the way Smith sings it, it's as if he owned the song. I respect Lynyrd Skynyrd and all [it's the little bit of Southerner in me], but seriously, Shinedown took it to a whole 'nother level. It may as well be their song now.
Just as Leave a Whisper came to me at the perfect time, Us and Them did the exact same thing. "Save Me" became an anthem for that time in my life just as Pearl Jam's "Nothing As it Seems" did. And there's a line in that song -- "I've got a candle, and I've got a spoon" -- that completely got to me... because I was very close to someone who, 9 times out of 10, could be found with a lighter and spoon in hand. It was almost clairvoyant. I know a lot of fans were disappointed with Us and Them, but I found what I needed in it. "Save Me", "Shed Some Light", and "Some Day" evoke the same feelings that they did when I first got the album. And that's all I need... the emotional factor will always come first.
Now, The Sound of Madness... I got that a couple of weeks ago, right before I saw Shinedown live for the first time, and I have to admit that Smith and Co. take it there all over again. "The Crow and the Butterfly", "Call Me", "Second Chance"... they may not be on the same level as some of their earlier songs for me, but they have their own charged intensity that is impossible to ignore. And then there's "Sound of Madness"... out of all their "up-tempo" songs, this has to be the best one in my opinion. I can't ever be disappointed in Shinedown, apparently.
They may not be the most original, or the most attention-getting, or the most accomplished, but Shinedown has done much for me. I'm indebted to them just as I'm indebted to my other favorites. And as I keep saying... at the end of the day, isn't that what really matters?
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Pearl Jam - My First
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August 08, 2008, 10:38:am
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I've been having issues with whether Pearl Jam should be in the Devotee of the Following Through This Life and the Next... list or where it is now. Because I am definitely a serious PJ fan, but I just haven't made the decision to bump them up yet.
I mean, they were my first rock band. The day I heard "Black" on the radio, I was still listening to Savage Garden and blink-182 [barely a rock band in my opinion]. But I heard this song, and I fell in love with it immediately. Didn't know who the band was or anything... but I'd continuously seek that song out for years to come until I found out.
As it turned out, Pearl Jam became very influential in my life. They may not have inspired a fire like Creed or Sevendust did, where they were always in the front of my mind, but behind the curtain they were always there. "Alive" was my song in high school... I even had lyrics from that song printed underneath my senior-year yearbook photo. Is something wrong, she said... of course there is. You're still alive, she said... but do I deserve to be? Is that the question? And if so... who answers?
And then there was "Jeremy". And there was "Once". And there was "Yellow Ledbetter". Later on, when I left home and embarked on my twisted and short-lived relationship with my first love, it branched out to "Dissident", and "Rearviewmirror", and my perennial favorite, "Nothing As It Seems". That particular song bears an intensity for me that I can't escape even now, even years later. It has the power to transport me to a time I'd rather forget but am destined to always remember.
There's something to be said for the lyrical content of the songs I've grown to love. "I Got ID" is one song that rivals "Nothing..." in its intensity. But I mean, look at the lyrics. I got memories, I got shit, so much it don't show.... If just once I could feel loved, stare back at me .... I paid the price, never held you in real life. And the delivery. It's all about the delivery. There is always emotion in Eddie Vedder's vocals, always truth that stretches beyond the mere words he's singing. Sometimes it's not whether you can sing the best, sometimes it's how compelling you can be. And Vedder -- who I also think can sing, mind you -- wins the award for compelling.
I've said many things about Pearl Jam -- they wrote the soundtrack to my life, Vedder was my first love, my whole existence is like one long ass Pearl Jam song... but I guess I can never really explain in words the influence they've had.
And I guess I never will be able to. I'll let the songs speak for themselves...
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My Chemical Romance... Oh Man this is gonna be good.
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August 05, 2008, 03:14:pm
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Damn right. My Chemical fucking Romance is on my "Lifelong Devotee of the Following..." list. And I'm not ashamed of that in the slightest, just like I ain't ashamed of the band before it [Creed].
I mean, like I said in Creed's post, music is a personal experience, and MCR is part of MY experience. So suck on that. 
Alright. Now, when "I'm Not Okay" came out, I hated the song. Well, I mean, I was all stuck and fixated on that drudgy grungy stuff. There was no room for MCR in that. So I chalked them up as some quick-to-burn-out shooting star and went back to my Soundgarden CD.
And then I heard "Helena" on the radio. *snaps fingers* COMPLETE switcheroo. I fell in serious love with that song. And THEN they took it a step further, when I saw the video for "The Ghost of You" on MTV2. THAT was the song which prompted me to get Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge to see if they had anything else I'd like just as much. [Now, Helena is one of those songs I rarely listen to, because the non-singles are so much better, y'know?]
Well, suffice it to say that TCFSW became one of my everyday-listening albums. I got all caught up in their energy. And of course "The Ghost of You", "Cemetery Drive", and "It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Fucking Deathwish" were my emotionally-charged anthems for the time. [I never really paid attention to the whole war theme of The Ghost of You, because I was too caught up in how it reminded me of an event that happened to me around the same time that single came out. You'll notice that a lot of the songs I'm really crazy about are songs that connect directly to events in my life, as if they were written for those moments. It's how I connect to bands.]
And the rest is history. I never was one for the whole "OMFG GEE WAY" thing... I never found Gerard Way particularly attractive [not my type], but I appreciated his theatrics. I tend to gravitate towards emotional or energetic frontmen [Eddie Vedder's an example... he's like the gloomy-doomy one, while Gerard is the freaky-styley one, I guess], and Way fit the bill. I don't think MCR has come out with a song yet that I don't like. In fact, all of their songs have either 4 or 5 stars on my iPod. It's rare to find a band like that... even some of my Sevendust songs have 3 stars. So that's really saying something for how much I like them.
As for MCR's fan base... that's a whole nother situation entirely, and I can see how MCR gets a bad rap for the ridiculously suicidal idolatry of their mostly-teenaged fans. I mean, seriously. It's a band. Not a religion. Calm down.
I can only imagine what these kids would do if, say, Goddess forbid Gerard Way got into a car accident or something. Talk about mass suicide. It's like Beatlemania on fucking steroids.
Alright, enough. But I just had to throw that in, because it merited mention.
But fuck their fan base. I'm not in it for them, I'm in it for the band, just like I always have been. :]
Music: Alice in Chains - Man In the Box
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Sevendust + Nonpoint + Soulidium @ TLA...
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August 02, 2008, 04:33:pm
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Every time I think I've had the best time at a Sevendust show, I go see them again and they outdo themselves.
So I got to Philly at 10AM but got to Theatre of Living Arts at 11AM... that was a LOOONG fucking walk. I was there when 7D and Nonpoint's crew started unloading their shit. Nonpoint's driver, Uncle Donny, gave me $5 to go get a pretzel at Auntie Anne's He's a doll. Got to talk to four-fifths of Sevendust [Vinnie was surprisingly MIA during the hours before the show]... there's new pictures in my gallery and they're of me with Lajon and Morgan. FINALLY! My friend came to say hi -- she lives in Philly -- and when LJ walked up she was like "OMG you're short!" and I was like *FACE PALM* "I TOLD YOU THAT ALREADY, YOU FREAK!!!" lmao. It was great. She asked him for a photo and he was like "Oh, I'm not too short to take a picture with?" and I was like "PWNED!!!" *high five* Ha.
LJ got me a backstage pass. Their passes have the Welcome Back Kotter cast on 'em [the theme song to that is also how they open their shows... I wonder who has the WBK fetish in the band...]. I'm going to keep that sucker for life. 
So then more people started coming after, like, 4PM and shit. Met this one chick Mia who was really cool... then two chicks that were at the Starland show earlier in the year, Mandy and Karen, showed up and it was like a goddamn reunion up in that bitch. Good times. Doors opened at 8PM.
Soulidium was first... interesting-ass band. Their vampiric lead singer has a kind of nü-metal-y voice... y'know, like mid-range, sometimes screamy, sometimes yelpy... I don't know how to explain it, but you know how most of those nü-metal bands sounded as far as vox were concerned. Well ANYWAY, I was so busy going apeshit over his contacts and fangs that half the time I wasn't even listening to his ass, so that's a dead issue. They've got a kind of dark vibe, I guess they sound like they could've fit right in on the Queen of the Damned soundtrack -- as a matter of fact, they were actually on the Saw IV soundtrack. Their songs tend to sound alike, but I guess there ain't much room for variation when you've got that kind of sound... whatever. I didn't hate 'em. I'll probably download some of their shit one day.
Nonpoint... well, Nonpoint tore that bitch up. Their drummer has his kit set up sideways, so that it faces stage right... I don't know why, but it was interesting. Elias had this big-ass riser to stand on so that he looked like god or some shit. It was great. A lot of the shit they played was new -- off of Vengeance which I don't have yet  -- but I recognized some Recoil shit: Broken Bones and The Truth [I fucking love that song, it was the first Nonpoint song I ever heard and I was glad they played it]. They did Bullet With a Name and March of War too, which I happened to know even though I don't have the whole damn album. The crowd was freaking out like a sumbitch during Nonpoint's set. It was wild. Oh, and Elias still looks good. LMFAO.
Sevendust... phew. Sevendust opened with Inside and moved on to do Deathstar, Prodigal Son, Trust, Pieces, Ugly, Scapegoat, Denial, Rumble Fish, Waffle, Angel's Son, and Clueless... not in that order, of course. And then after Angel's Son they had Clint do their cover of "Hurt"... I was floored. It was amazing. I'm glad I was on this tour to see them do that, because y'know, they just don't do that song live [except on Southside Double-Wide but that was different]. And of course I got all emo during Angel's Son... I got reasons damn it. Don't laugh. [Later on, my front-row mates told me that LJ himself was cryin' during the damn song. I was like, "Holy shit! I wasn't even paying attention because my eyes were burning from the eyeliner running into them..." heh. It was deep.]
Then they came back and did a two-song encore: Black and Praise. That was awesome.
Vinnie, good old Vin-Vin, came to the edge of the stage during Trust and said hi to me... and at the time LJ was singing the part where it's like "did you ever want to stay with me?" and Vinnie was like "will you stay with me?" and I was like "of course!" It was so funny. I love Vin-Vin.
Johnny handed me one of Morgan's drumsticks. Mo' was tossing those things away like hotcakes. One would fly out of his hand and he would throw the other one out and then pick up two more and toss THEM out... he must go through a serious shitload of sticks LMAO. He just don't give a shit. Once he threw one and it flew towards Vinnie who wasn't paying attention... and just as it was about to hit him he reflexively caught it. Like he was on some ninja shit. I was like "HO'SHIT VIN'S A NINJA!!!!" He was like "holy fuck how'd I do that" lmao. Great stuff.
After the show I managed to get my first piece of show merchandise EVER: A 7D tour shirt. It was a great moment. That's my first official piece of show merch AND my first official piece of Sevendust merch, period. It's a big old shirt that I'm planning on slicing-and-dicing into a cute little dress. LOL Sevendust dress.
Then I caught up to Karen who said that LJ said meet them at this bar that was next door... except closing time in PA for bars is 2AM. It was 1:15 already. So we were sitting there and last call comes and goes and we're like... "Do they remember what state they're in? They're not even going to be able to get in..." So then we walk out at like 1:50 and LJ's at the end of the block being a social butterfly and he tells us to meet them all by the bus... it was like The Sevendust Groupie Rat Race down on South Street. So we go to the bus and Clint is there and Vin-Vin comes up and we're all talking to them and shit. Vin cut his hair real short. LJ came back and made the final rounds and I was thinking about how the fuck I was supposed to get back to NYC and LJ was like "how are you getting back?" and I'm like "I don't know!!! " And he's looking all worried and shit and Karen and Mandy said they'll help me figure it out, and he was like "Yeah do that so I can sleep tonight" and I'm like "oh yeah right, you'll sleep anyway" and he's like "no really y'all make me worry" and I'm like "that's cute but you ain't serious"... lol. It was cute of him to say that, but seriously, everyone knows he ain't losin' sleep over a dumbass like good ol' me.
So Mandy and Karen and this other chick and Mandy's husband Steve and I all climb in Mandy's Rav-4 and go for like this wild ride around Penn state... well, first we went to drop the other chick off at her complex and then we went and got gas and started heading towards where Mandy lives because there was this epic diner around her way... and the whole time we were having the most ridiculous conversations. But it got even better at the diner because like we were all jazzed about Sevendust and how sexy LJ is and everything was turning into innuendoes and we resurrected this joke we started at the Jersey show about the word "loins"... everything sounds 10x funnier when you put that word in it, try it. So like, I was trying to figure out what to order -- the menu was seriously like 7 pages long, no exaggeration... they had EVERYthing -- and Mandy was like "Get the tenderloins" and I was like falling out of my chair laughing at everything and couldn't order. And every time I tried to be serious someone would say something and fuck it up so like the waiter came back like twelve times before we were all done ordering. It was his second night working there so I think we seriously fucked his shit up
But like we finally got to eat and I managed not to choke on anything even though I couldn't stop laughing. Haha. Then we FINALLY left and Mandy drove me to the Trenton train terminal so I could catch the NJTransit back into NYC. It was 5:15 AM.
Talk about a long-ass night.
But I've seriously never had so much fun in my damn life.
Mood: tired as fuck STILL
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The Band Everyone Loves to Loathe ... Creed
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July 31, 2008, 04:45:pm
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That's right. I am STILL the biggest Creed fan I know.
STILL.
I am very well aware that it isn't "cool" to like -- let alone love -- Creed. I am very well aware that former frontman Scott Stapp has been a real douche. I am very well aware of the whole "they sound like a shitty Pearl Jam" thing. I am very well aware that there is just way too much bloated Christian imagery in their music and video to be even credible anymore. I am very well aware of every strike AGAINST Creed, because I've been dealing with it all since I was 13 and a total Stapp fiend.
But that doesn't change the fact that when I was 13 and faced with hell, Creed was that band that MCR is for a lot of teens now -- the band that quote-unquote "saved my life".
That phrase is probably the most ridiculously clichéd "teenie" line ever, but when I was a "teenie" it meant the world. I thought that the sun rose and set on Scott Stapp and that "My Own Prison" professed my emotions in the most exact and heartfelt way possible. I found what I needed in the band, and I carried it with me proudly. I wore Creed on my sleeve [and my tee-shirts, and my notebooks, and my...] every day like a badge of honor. I was never ashamed of Creed being my favorite band.
I'm still not ashamed. Because they're one of MY favorites. They don't have to be anyone else's. The opinions of other people matter none when it boils down to it. When I put on "Torn" or "My Own Prison" or "Is This the End?", it's MY personal experience I am brought back to. MY dark days I am flashed back to. MY personal hell I'm dealing with. No one else's.
And plus, doesn't everyone have that one band that no one else likes but them? I mean, really. It's not that uncommon nor is it damning.
As for Scott Stapp... well, we'll discuss him when we get to him [far, far down the line]....
Music: Tool - Intolerance
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Coheed and Cambria - Also Known as Claudio's Hair
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July 27, 2008, 03:23:pm
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Yeah, when I first heard Coheed and Cambria on MTV2, I thought it was a chick singing.
Yeah, I laughed like hell at Claudio Sanchez's hair when I first saw it in that video [The Suffering].
Yeah, I thought The Suffering was a silly song and vowed to hate it. Even though my then-lover thought it was nifty [hey, he liked Rush, so it figures  ]
.... Yeah, I had The Suffering stuck in my head for weeks afterward until I finally caved and admitted I liked the damn song. And then bought Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume I: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness.
And thus began a love affair with Coheed and Cambria that continues to be rewarding.
They kept getting better for me. I got the other albums slowly; I learned the story of Coheed and Cambria Kilgannon and their children; I saw CoCa live; I met other Coheed fans and shared Latin-'fro jokes [Kira and I actually call CoCa "Claudio's Hair" now]; I made some of my best digital graphics and clothing based on Coheed imagery... not one bad thing has come out of my being a devoted fan of this band. And as far as the music is concerned... it's hard to explain my love for it -- and even harder to explain how the HELL I managed to fall in love with Claudio's voice. It goes against everything I value in a man's voice... but yet, I keep listening to it! It's a scientific conundrum! AHH!
But then I put on "Backend of Forever", or "The Final Cut", or "On the Brink", and I feel my heart swell, and I remember. There doesn't have to be a reason. Just go with the feeling, and if the music moves you, enjoy it while it lasts.
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Back to the routine... Guns N' Roses
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July 24, 2008, 06:40:pm
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When I was young, I hated Guns N' Roses.
I'd only heard "Welcome to the Jungle" throughout my youth, and I couldn't figure out what the hell was wrong with Axl Rose's voice. Why the hell did he sing like that? I loathed it. Completely.
But just like Metallica and Nirvana and the Smashing Pumpkins, GN'R smacked me in the face once I hit adulthood and made me like them.
How I got reintroduced to GN'R is a long-forgotten incident, but I do remember picking up the Greatest Hits album because it was on sale for $10 at the now-deceased Tower Records [RIP]. "Welcome to the Jungle" was now an anthem for the city I'd grown to both love and hate with equal intensity -- New York City. "Sweet Child O' Mine" was the proud owner of one of the most memorable riffs I'd ever come across. "Since I Don't Have You" [a cover] and "November Rain" became the theme songs to a love that I was just beginning to feel. "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" and "Civil War" became my connection to politics. And "Yesterdays"... "Yesterdays" reflected a sentiment I wish I could say held true for me. I'd stand at the bus stop in the freezing cold perfecting my Axl Rose, belting out "You Could Be Mine" and hopping up and down to keep warm. I got through some of the toughest periods in that winter with GN'R playing as a soundtrack.
I'd gotten over my disgust with Rose's voice and had now grown to adore it. There have been many times that I've dissed the man for his admittedly deplorable attitude and nature, but then I'd listen to "Estranged" and amend, "As long as I can hear Axl Rose hit that last note -- 'I never wanted it to die....' -- I'll never hate him." There's a strangely compelling power in Rose's voice that I can't deny no matter how much shit I hear about Chinese Democracy or how many times he gets in fights with racist fashion designers or how many times I hear how overrated GN'R were and are. Overrated they may have been, but I can't think of too many bands that have that same power over me.
Same thing I have to say about Slash -- he might not be GOD status, but he certainly isn't trash to me. I mean, every time I watch the "November Rain" video I get chills. Not because of the cheesy 'storyline' which even I admit was overblown, but because of that moment when Slash climbs up on the piano and launches into something that brings serious tears into my eyes.
Don't you think that you need somebody? Don't you think that you need someone? Everybody needs somebody; you're not the only one. You're not the only one.
And the truth of the matter is, I needed GN'R then, and I still need 'em now.
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