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YourxBiggestxSin's Journal
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Pain
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September 03, 2008, 01:35:am
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Trough the pain in life we learn from our mistakes.
Pople come people go.
Say good bye and then Hello.
Outside in the cold,
When no ones around,
Break down and cry and even make a plea
That the god they told you excist may hear.
Look up to the sky tears streaming by.
the blade in my hand is it worth it this time?
Look up once more,
then down to the floor.
its cold its wet,
the darkness has yet dug its own.
Shiny and tempting i hold it close to the beating vain,
but will it kill all the pain?
Misleadingly throw it aside
maybe this time i'll get it right
slowly getting off the ground
i take a quick look around.
No ones here, not at all
just the blade and the pain inside
put on the mask once again and hide
no one really cares unless you lie.
Rethink the issues, look around.
The pain is going slowly now
just a victume to the tortcher
the blade falls once again
stainded with the sarrow i once had
People come People go
Say good bye and then Hello
Mood: slightly loved
Music: idk
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The Wicked Game of Sin
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September 03, 2008, 01:14:am
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In the dark the dice roll
Time for it to take its toll
The odds against my side
Happy pills or suicide?
A smile’s forced
The verdict in
Another day to deal with the pain
Till the marrow I wait and see
Who’s now here to lie to me?
False hopes and promises never kept
Might as well just try and forget
Forget how they once made me smile
Everything’s broken in a pile
The aches and pains slowly deepen
While you stare with a blank expression
When will it end?
False words all seem to fall
Walking through the silent halls
Back in to the night’s dear game
And let the dice take its toll.
Mood: still eh
Music: A7X little piece of heaven
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Poison
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September 03, 2008, 01:07:am
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You are my poison
That crawls through my veins.
Sickening me with every thought
Which only brings more pain
My heart pulse quickens
My body shakes
The feeling is slightly bliss
As the addiction grows
It tightens at my throat
Heartache seems like a plague
Shivers in the night
Curled up tight
Life support out of hand
Give me the high I demand
Heart skips a beat
Eyes widen with the joy
Everything’s numb again
As my last breath is taken
The poison runs deep and fast
I hoped the sensation would last
As I fall to the floor
Glad I had the chance.
Mood: brain dead from homework
Music: dj cammy
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If you're wondering why
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August 18, 2008, 09:04:pm
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There is an increase in journal entries its mostly because I’m bored.
I started writing poetry again and I don’t care if you like it or not I’m not looking for approval. I dont mean to sound harsh or short tempared about it as well. A majority of you don’t even read it anyways.
Mood: still sick and wishing i could hear
Music: cant hear anything. >.
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To the Heart I Once had
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August 18, 2008, 09:00:pm
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To The Heart I Once Had
Hello dear friend at last we meet again.
You’ve been locked away out of harms way
Never to be felt again.
You’re rather dusty now
But the pieces are all intact.
For that there must be some gratitude.
While you sit there slowly beating.
I must say that you have missed a lot.
Through the hard times and the beatings
I kept you in mind with a small amount of hope in the hole you once called home
That one-day I can bring you back and let you discover how life feels.
After awhile you’ll miss the box that was your home.
But in time you’ll get use to the feeling of emptiness that devours our souls.
After you shrivel and break with your last beating plea to hide from the rest of the pain.
We can look back with relief that we are now both going in to a box where no harm can get in.
Mood: sick as all hell x.x
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small update
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June 03, 2008, 11:36:pm
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that last journal was crap everyone's gone now and theres no flordia trip.
been hanging out more which rocks and is a nice escape.
I am now working on moving to Cali so anyone over there wants to met lets do it k?
last night my best friend and i desided it is now time for us to move on and figure out who we are and what were suppose to do. Its good that we both came to turns at our age but it also means we'll never see each other again by the end of this year. it was a nice 5 years i guess.
but yeah i guess thats it for now tis a small preview in meh life.
~sin
Mood: about to shoot myself
Music: Bleeding Love by whats her face
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to the friends that are interested...
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April 03, 2008, 02:28:pm
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On why im gone and im surprised that i was still left in your friends. things have been less then peachy for me lately. college is hell. i guess i shouldn't have been like all the other freshmen kids thinking this was going to be busy. My job is sucking more then before. they are currently hirering more people there for knocking over my hours so i get less then 12 max a week. so job hunting hasn't been to well either since they only hire in may and october and i cant wait that long for a new job.
on other lighter news i have a nice boy toy the only thing wrong with him is that hes long distance and i can only see him if we fly out to one or the others house.so its adding up and i dont know if it worth it. also im being stocked by my psycho ex bf no im seriously not saying this for attention its creepy. but i guess thats bad news instead of good. im trying to go to flordia this august! exsiting i know i seriously cant wait for this.
and a i might be in for a certain surprise if something come out positive or doesnt happen this month. so everyone cross your fingers for me and hope that im not.
more with the bad it seems like most of my friends in AZ have a problem with me instead of saying anything to me which gets extremely annoying you think with age that people will stop acting like kids now and will tell you when they have a problem.but i guess thats not how society is and will ever be
thanks for letting me take up your time.
YourxBiggestXsin
Mood: blah
Music: Mushroomhead
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