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Xx_NEON-CANDY_xX's Journal
CONFESSIONS OF THE DEAD AND MENTALLY INSANE
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IT'S SO OVER!!!!
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May 31, 2008, 06:29:pm
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I'm So Sick of you. I'm sick of hearing you say you're sorry. You're not fucking sorry. You're only sorry that I caught you. I'm tired of all this shit. I was a strong person until I met you. For some reason I let you control me. I bend to your will. I do what you want and demean myself doing it. Even though you're the idiot, I feel stupid. I am more fucked up than you can imagine. Every time we break up, Yeah I'm sad about it because I love you and everyone knows it, but for some twisted reason I feel relieved when it's over. I don't have to sit up every waking moment wondering if I'm good enough for you and if you're thinking of someone else. I can't take it. I'm not strong enough for this. I trust no one, not even myself and you know that. Yet when I confront you about seeing a "friendly" message from you to another girl, you get pissed off at me and make me the bad guy. I shouldn't have to feel guilty about being worried. It's in my nature to be paranoid and you only highten my paranoia. You say you wanna marry me but you don't know what you want....or who. This hurts me very bad because I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life. But it's easier this way. I need to feel that relief again because I'm being pushed to my limits and stretched way too thin. I know we belong together but maybe just not right now. Don't stay single because I'm not sure if I will. I just need a break and I don't want to hear you yell at me, call me names, or try to make me feel bad about what I'm doing. I will not let you control me anymore. Don't even fucking say you're sorry because I've heard it all before and I'm So Sick of it! I cannot take this so I'm ending this with just 2 words. "It's Over"
Mood: RELIEVED
Music: TAKE A BOW by Rhianna
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a not so subliminal message
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May 26, 2008, 05:14:am
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TAKE A BOW
How about a round of applause.
A standing ovation.
You look so dumb right now.
Standing outside my house.
Trying to apologize.
You look so ugly when you cry.
Please just cut it out.
Don't tell me you're sorry, cuz ur not.
Baby, when i know ur only sorry you got caught.
But you put on quite a show. You really had me going.
But now it's time to go. The curtains pulling closed.
That was quite a show. Very intertaining.
But it's over now. Go on and take a bow.
Grab your clothes and get gone.
You better hurry up. Before the sprinklers come on.
You're talking about, "Girl I love you. You're the one."
This just looks like a re-run.
Please, what else is on?
And don't tell me you're sorry, cuz ur not.
Baby, when i know ur only sorry you got caught.
But you put on quite a show. You really had me going.
But now it's time to go. The curtains pulling closed.
That was quite a show. Very intertaining.
But it's over now. Go on and take a bow.
And the award for the best liar goes to you
for making me believe that you could be faithful to me.
Let's hear your speech out.
How about a round of a applause.
A standing ovation.
Don't tell me you're sorry, cuz ur not.
Baby, when i know ur only sorry you got caught.
But you put on quite a show. You really had me going.
But now it's time to go. The curtains pulling closed.
That was quite a show. Very intertaining.
But it's over now. Go on and take a bow.
It's over now.
Mood: obvious
Music: rhianna, "take a bow"
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Do u love someone enough to do this? I bet you don't.
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May 20, 2008, 03:01:am
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Do u love someone enough to do this? I bet you dont
DON'T TURN BACK, U JUST OPENED IT, KEEP ON READIN IT
if you would jump in front of a bullet for your girlfriend, boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend, best friend, family member, or just a person u love, repost this.
Tonight, your 1 love will call, kiss or ask you out...if you break this chain, you will be PUNISHED.
Repost with title: Do u love someone enough to do this? I bet you dont
Mood: devastated
Music: earthquake from the used
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um random shit
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April 07, 2008, 05:53:pm
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hello people, today is okay i guess. I miss certain people. Oh, by the way, Sarah says hi! We miss our Squishy and I miss my baby, Bryan. Today is gonna be a long day. I have class till 9:15pm so I won't get home till 10:00pm. But good news is I won't have class after that until Thursday. Yay.
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Sick Insanity Kills
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March 24, 2008, 10:01:am
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Melancholic and so unstable.
Bi polar and paranoid.
Nothing to feel but the void.
The nothingness eats at me and I'm so empty inside
that I run from everything, but I've got nowhere to hide.
Sick Insanity Kills. Sick Insantiy Kills. It kills me. It kills me.
Chorus: I love to hate you and I hate that I love you. I'm sick to my stomach cause I'm so sick of you. I write on my arm just to feel something cause the pain I inflict is better than nothing. I'm so warm and content when the blood starts to spill and this sick insanity kills.
I hate myself for feeling nothing.
People try to reach out and I'm like "don't fucking touch me". Then they leave and they are gone for good and I hate myself more, but not as much as I should.
No one can help me if I don't wanna try.
I will never feel as safe as I do with this knife.
It's like it's too hard to live and I'm too afraid to die.
I'm caught in the middle. Not the way to live life.
Paralizing fear overcomes me and I'm frozen.
I'm demented and alone and everybody knows it.
Sick Insanity Kills. Sick Insantiy Kills. It kills me. It kills me.
Chorus: I love to hate you and I hate that I love you. I'm sick to my stomach cause I'm so sick of you. I write on my arm just to feel something cause the pain I inflict is better than nothing. I'm so warm and content when the blood starts to spill and this sick insanity kills.
People always say a life with fear is a life wasted.
I'm starting to get that, but I just can't face it.
My tears are like acid burning through my skull.
I've got to let my fear go. I've got to let my fear go.
Sick insanity kills. Sick insanity kills. Sick insanity kills. Sick insanity kills.
Sick insanity kills me. Sick insanity kills me. Sick insanity kills me. It kills me. It kills me.
Mood: getting read for class
Music: Sick Insanity Kills
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