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XxMindFuckVampireXx's Journal
Blunt Darkness
INTRODUCTION The coal I had used to decorate, staining my hands forever, forever in my world, forever in my palms, and always in my heart, every page full of thoughts, every page created with my tears, every page of a new world. Hello reader. Welcome to my world. My world, where to the night we favor and to the light we surrender, Vampires as our kings and where the morning stains our thoughts. I must warn you, dear reader, that you are entering a world in which not many endear, you are courageous, and curious, and are thriving for answers. As you have already been assured, yes, this journal you are about to encounter is filled with my thoughts, my encounters, my "sketches". Do not be alarmed at these appalling first impressions and stereo types you fear. These entrys I find most interesting and thought provoking, I can notify you that after you have read this journal, after you have seen what my eyes have seen...but wait. Your eyes see different than mine, our minds think different thoughts. these entrys can be lessons to many; you just need to look deeper into the meaning, read between the lines, and glare past your black covered window pane. I love the fact that a great moral can be found in our everyday lives, what we see, or don’t see, after the sun betrays us. You will after this experience look at the world differently, you will appreciate the oddly for what it is, and is never there to scare you, you’ll see. But as is, even though there are positive things about this journal, there has to be a contrast, a negative. Some of the things I did not totally agree with in my journal was the fact that the "darkness" (mentioned quite a bit) consumes all. It shields your eyes therefore you do not know what lies beyond the darkened wall that falls before you, what’s on the other side. I, as do most, do not like this idea and I understand your reasoning for it. But it was curiosity, it was understanding, and it was something worthy of changing minds that had sparked my intrest in this journal. I looked deeper into the meaning, looked behind that closed door every soul seems to abandon, and miss on purpose, I wanted to become bold, unique, and courageous. The thoughts of others had also provoked me to seek an answer; darkness is with us every day, when you close your eyes, during slumber. Music was also my inspiration for aspiration for these journal entries. I believe that my music I listen to is also perplexed as is darkness, they have similarities that I love, darkness is the music within all, and within our 24 hours. Some people see darkness as a dreaded mask that they fear because it hides whet others see from afar, all they are accounted for; they have no choice but to give in their insides, what should count the most. Alas, my time to speak has run out, I want the pages to assert the rest, the ink to penetrate your thoughts, and the coal to stain your hands as your fingers rub against the pages, enjoy.
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August 18, 2008, 02:18:am
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C: great friend
H: crazy
R: loves to laugh and smile
I: good boyfriend or girlfriend
S: is in love
T: very good kisser
I: good boyfriend or girlfriend
N: easy to fall in love with
A:hot
.....lol ^^
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A: hot
B: loves people
C: great friend
D: cute
E: has gorgeous eyes
F: wild and crazy adore you
G: makes people laugh
H: crazy
I: good boyfriend or girlfriend
J: is really sweet
K: loves 2 b kissed
L: can kick your ass
M: can be funny and dumb at times
N: easy to fall in love with
O: has one of the best personalities ever
P: popular with all types of people
Q: has a smile to die for
R: loves to laugh and smile
S: is in love
T: very good kisser
U: is very sexual
V: is a good kisser
W: very broad minded
X: never let people tell you what to do
Y: is not judgmental
Z: makes dating fun
THIS IS COMPLETELY LEGIT!(its true)
copy and paste in your own journal with your letters of your name =]...
Mood: uneasy
Music: Enter Sandman-Metalica
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Lyrics für Nico und Mich <3
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July 21, 2008, 03:25:pm
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- Don't waste your time on me you're already the voice inside my head.=Blink 182- I Miss You
- ...If you go, i want to go with you, and if you die, i want to die with you,take your hand and walk away.=System Of A Down- Lonely Day
- I mean this, untill the end of time. I'm trying to let you know how much you mean, as days fade, and nights grow, and we grow cold; but this time we'll show them, we'll show them all, how much we mean. As snow falls from desert skys, untill the end of everything.= My Chemical Romance- Demolition Lovers
- Everytime i see your face, everytime you look my way, it's like it all falls into place, everything feels right. But ever since you walked away, tht my life in diseray, all i want is one more day, one more day with you.= Simple Plan- One More Day
- Du hast mich,Küss mich, für mich, für immer....Du bist schön. = (mix of lyrics/song titles from Rammstien, Lafee, und MICH!! :P)
- I didn't mean for this to go as far as i did, and i didn't mean to fall in love, but i did...and you didn't mean to love me back but i know you did.= Plain White Ts- A Lonely September
- Dear Angel, my angel, where do i start to express how i feel, when love's gone blind. And all i feel is what i hear.You'd rip and tear at my heart so weak and pure, so i find myself wanting to die.I bleed for the second time tonight, with only a love that's in my mind, if only my love could be with you; if only to releave this pain tatoo.= April Sixth- Dear Angel
- I was still awake for you. We will make it together, we can't hide the truth. I've given up for you now, a final wish will guide you out before the ocean breaks apart underneath me; remember. To me you'll be forever sacred, i'm dying but i know i'll love again.= Tokio Hotel-Sacred
- I promise, i won't let you down if you take my hand tonight, i promise, we'll be just fine, this time, if you take my hand tonight.= Simple Plan- I Promise
Mood: Sad :'(
Music: April Sixth- Dear Angel
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Dear Mommy (poem by me)
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May 07, 2008, 05:25:pm
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Mommy, she had asked for your help,
Something that was not in her reach,
Now look at her Mommy, stare.
Look at what your daughter has become,
A monster formed in between your grasp, nothing to change,
Nothing to talk about,
Because you know she’s dead Mommy,
And you can’t change a thing.
You know she is in the ground?
You know she is to dust?
But one thing you do know is that she is never going to be around.
Mood: Fired up
Music: bullet for my valentine-scream aim fire
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Dying to live without you (poem by me)
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May 04, 2008, 12:12:pm
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Your tears burn me,
your sorrow erodes me,
i have yet to have simpathy for your misfortunes,
or for a crime you had grasped.
a razorblade kiss i had stumbled,
uppon yours,i had.
the first touch had sent me to my grave,
but if i had avoided your bleeding heart,
lothed your preasence,
i would be alive.
Had I said you were to forsaken me?
Had I said we were no more?
But if I had said a word,
my life would be worth living,
and Yours would be in this darkness that is uppon me now.
Your lust is to dust,
Your past is yet to be forgotten,
but I my dear slayer,
is still watching from bellow, from the ground you had dug me into,
Oh, the regret and blissfullness of the moments we shared,
a lie, no?
but shall thy domain decompose beneath thy feet,
as my soul is decmposing with it, the ground is cold,
i am dead with you, alive i am without.
Just
The way
You Wanted It.
Mood: Apathetic
Music: The Diary of Jane- Breaking Benjamin
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I advise you to read carefully
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April 20, 2008, 01:35:am
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at around 12:05 i had decided that i was bored out of my fucking mind...i want to do something i've always wanted to do since i turned 12...i wanted to just go outside at night time, lay down on the grass, and just think. Think about nothing, just think. The feeling was outragious, i have never felt more inspired in my life, just the thought of the darkness surrounding me has captured my thoughts completely, nothing you could have done in a simple dark room. When the black sky is invading your skin, capturing it in it's eternal dome, i start to think. The best place in the world, the only place i dream of, the darkness. It had become overwhelming to me, in a moment i felt as though i was going to birst with inspiration...i needed to let it out, not only with just a simple though, but a drawing. I had gotten out my coal and started to sketch, i sketched absolutely nothing, it was unreadable, it was dark, it was clever, and it was outragious. So if you as a reader even get this far into reading this entry, i thank you for your attention, and i advise you strongly to go out one night and just lay there, just sit and dream. Into the blackness that consumes your thoughts, into the sacure dome that sharpens mentalities, and that takes you away to a place you never thought possible.
Mood: Inspired
Music: Desert Song- My Chemical Romance
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