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Dating,baby steps.
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June 16, 2011, 02:07:am
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I really cant remember the last time I made a Journal entry,had to be last year *blows off dust*
Well anyhow, growing as a person sucks and doesn't suck at the same time.I no longer wallow in past miseries but I feel myself being bogged down by defeat.
I thought that this guy I had dated was one of those decent ones,only to find myself falling for a wolf in sheep's clothing. Now,it was entirely not my fault.I do realize this and its hard to realize that things are not under my control especially when you are not forewarned...but that is a different story.I went with what he showed me, and thinking he was cute and kinda funny but not really what I'd go for, turned into legitimately liking him and the fact that he didn't want to jump my bones immediately.
I said...fuck it,fuck insecurities I'm going to give this a chance.And I did
Crash landed.
Burned.
I'm fine though I got myself a band aid and covered that boo boo the fuck up.
But how fine am I? I feel paranoid I feel bad for the next guy that will have me,because it will be a long bumpy road.....Or maybe not.
Maybe,just maybe it will be *like* at first sight and there wont have to be any explaining to do? No need to know track records and dirty laundry. Yeah,right.
I apparently...oh so apparently have what guys want,atleast that's what so many tell me. I'm pretty,smart,easy-going,laid back, can drink,likes video games,not clingy.Yet I can't hold a decent guy and when I attract one we have absolutely no chemistry,which is not under my control as well.
Men are not the only ones that get friend zoned,really cool girls who have more to offer than tits or GTFO get friend zoned daily, and I might've fucked my chances with a guy I found phys. and mentally attractive from the get go because I didnt take it or myself seriously.
I can't help feeling hopeless and fed up.Slowly turning into a bitch,for some reason mean girls get all the guys to be all over them and yet they don't even look in their direction. Well,I need some type of attention.
I'm not going to jump into the next arms of the guy that wants me but im definitely going to start casually dating a bit to see what I like and don't like. Enjoy being single,and just have fun and not worry about a damn thing.
Mood: Can a glass be half empty AND half full?
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