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Vampenwitch's Journal
Thoughts, and work.
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My week in Boston...
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August 12, 2008, 03:08:am
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Oh my god. I had the most amazing week in Boston. ^^ Steven is better than I ever could have imagined!! He's the one I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I can feel it. I mean, I gave him my heart, and he gave me his. I was really nervous on my way up there, but once I stepped off that bus and into the Boston terminal, and saw his face I knew that this was right. I had never felt such deep connection with anyone in my life. The first thing I did when we got to his house was climb onto his bed and snuggle with him. And one thing led to another and before we knew it, we were making love..it was a wonderful experience ^^ I've never been so willing to do that with any guy. He just made me feel so loved, and wanted. I dont want anyone else but him. At one point where we were laying on the couch and watching tv, I had noticed that all the commercials were about pregnant women. I said something about it, and I got up for some reason, and he grabbed me around the waist and kissed my tummy and told me that he wants life inside me. He wants a family with me. He even told me I can have an asian baby ^^ A girl asian baby ^^ I never thought I deserved someone as good as him, but there he was, laying his head on my tummy, telling me he wants me forever. I will stay with him forever..he really is my soul mate. And I love him with all my heart.
Mood: Depressed to be back home; wanting to be in Boston
Music: none
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In less than a week...
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July 27, 2008, 05:18:pm
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In less than a week I'm going to be in Massachusetts, spending time with Steven. I'm most likely not going to be online for the whole week I'm up there. I'm gonna be way too busy playing Zelda, and going out into Boston and seeing what the big city looks like. I'm so excited. I just thought I'd let all my friends know about it, even though Jake and Katie already did know. I'm gonna miss you guys while I'm there. It's gonna also be my first time riding in a bus...besides the fucking school bus, so I'm also a little nervous. I talked to Steven last night about it, and we both thought that there probably wouldn't be that many people on the bus with me, considering it's kinda rare for someone to be leaving Springfield, MO to go to Boston, MA. But I'm just so uber excited to be going. I'm gonna eat at my first Japanese restaurant, and lose my Zelda virginity (Steven told me until you have played the first Zelda game made, you have not yet lost it). I really need to get away from Missouri. This place is killing me. Even if I'm only gone for a week it'll still be great to leave this place. And also, every holiday, I'm gonna be up in Massachusetts. I'm going up there for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring Break, and hopefully by this time next year, I'm gonna be living there. Steven and I have talked about getting an apartment in Boston. I'm not sure if it's gonna happen, but I just really want to find a way out of this place. I love all you guys ^^
Mood: Uber happy...dont hear that very often in journals
Music: Hurt - Nine Inch Nails
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OmfgWtf...
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July 19, 2008, 01:30:pm
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You know what, fuck it, fuck everything. I just dont care anymore. I always end up hurting people who are close to me. So I'm giving up. Because of all this shit and drama I'm going to stop getting on the internet to talk to people, with the exception of people WHO DONT CAUSE FUCKING DRAMA. Everything I do causes people to get mad at me. No one is ever fucking happy. Seamus got pissed at me for writing the journal entry about the 3 guys. Damien got pissed at me for the Seamus one..I just cant get anyone happy. So I'm giving up. I'm gonna start doing that today. If I talk to you, then you're one of the exceptions..if I don't fuck off. Seriously, I'm sick of the shit. It's always the same too. Just whatever.
Mood: Fucking pissed
Music: None
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I just realized something...
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July 18, 2008, 09:12:pm
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Ok, every time I hang with my baby bro, Stevan we listen to rap music. I always tell people how much I hate that shit, but when I hear it I can't help but sing along. It's so catchy sometimes. Like the song that me and him listen to all the time. It's called "Put the lime in the coconut" by Tyga. I absolutely adore that song. It takes me back to my "ganster" days...well not really, but it makes me realize that I never really stopped liking rap. I just stopped listening to it for a while. I mean I hate 50 cent, and a whole bunch of rappers, but some songs are just amazing. I dont give a fuck what anyone thinks of me anymore. Besides the people that love me now will love me no matter what. Who cares if I like some rap. Ooh I cant wait till tomorrow when I can hang with him again. I love him to death ^^. But anyways..that was my epiphany...haha. I'm a nerd ^^
Mood: Just peachy
Music: Go that far - Bret Micheals
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I like someone..
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July 12, 2008, 12:27:pm
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Ok, so...I hate liking people who I cant be with. Right now I like 3 guys that are far away. One lives in California, one lives in Ireland, and the other lives in Kansas City...the last one lives the closest and I've known him the longest. About 3-4 years now. I've known the guy in Ireland almost 5 months, and I cared about him from day one. Then the guy in California I've known for almost a month..and I talk to him every single night. I cant get a wink of sleep if I don't. These three guys mean the world to me. I'd be lost without them, with the exception of my twin, without whom I'd surely die. I just...don't know what I'm doing. I don't think I've cared for another person the way I care about these three. For people who know me outside the internet, they know I fall in and out of love very quickly, but I have loved these guys ever since the day I met them. And the love has grown so much over the time I've known them. If you guys read this, know that I'll always be here for you ^^ I love you guys.
Mood: Iffy...
Music: Pork and Beans - Weezer
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