Trapped inside my own body. Crying at night. Trying to cut off the skin or puke the real me out. But I'm too far inside. I can't find myself anymore. I don't think I ever could. This body doesn't feel right. Are you sure it's mine? So many times my nails have torned my body. So many times the blade has been cutting through my skin. I can feel the wind, though I wished I couldn’t. It feels like cold water. Running down my skin. As a breeze. Like purring water so slowly down, looking all see-through. Almost like fairy dust, though I’ve never seen it apart from in fairytales. I never knew, that I could be so sad. And so not caring anymore at the same time. Seems like a nightmare without an ending. When I see the dark sea of red dripping down my floor I almost believe I could have made it, before it went so far. But who am I to judge? I often dream of ripping out my guts. Letting them fall to the floor. It’s a dream, not a nightmare anymore. My nightmare is my dream. My dream is my nightmare. I hit the bone, red sea.. Dripping is done, now began floating. Dizziness, the room seems to turn in every way it wants too. Mood: *empty* Music: Therapy - All Time Low
Why should I bother? I always laugh everything off. My smile won't be enough this time. They did not believe I was okay. The dog woke me up, so far away. Like it was behind an invisible shield. You never knew the pain. The emptyness you left for my body to take. Could it be, you were never really there? I felt the warm from your body. Mind, soul or heart? I see you. You became what you where already. I just made you realize what kind you were. Go fool youself, I won't let you fool me. Now you step you foot in the ashes of a fire, long gone dead. Did you believe the love? you don't hate me, you love the person you think i am - a poster board pinup for you to hate. Mood: Creative Music: None - Voice in the background.
