I suppose I'm not sure how I feel I mean in the beginning I was so happy To feel like I was finally in a committed relationship And when we nearly broke up I realized That I was a complete mess Because I never really wanted to let go You pushed me away without even trying... To talk to me, or trying to understand me I suppose a part of me feels like, I do deserve that pain.... And I will admit, I knew this was coming There is girls that like you and guys that dig me But in the beginnig you were the one to say That you didn't want an open realtionship And now your saying that you do Just so you can fuck other girls
So part of me feels confused Because I thought that friday We were going to make the night romantic Just for us to celebrate our anniversery But now I wonder if that is even still happening?
Tears fill my eyes with confused thoughts. Part of me thinks, perhaps if I do this Then we will gain trust in eachother Maybe if we promise to be honest With who we sleep, and when... Maybe it will help us both To get rid of those urges and stress
But then in the back of my head, I'm thinking...is this what I want? I'm biting my tounge thinking... What if this tears us apart? What if your jelousy takes control Or what if....I hold back how I feel And it winds up pouring from my wrists The same way it always does
I don't know what lifestyle would suit me I am a temptress and I enjoy oppertunitys But if I go around letting other men Enjoy what you once had all to yourself Will it feel special?
It's like asking, who wore that hoodie Before me? Was she prettier? Was she better in bed? I guess all these questions... There just insecurities.
Listen as two hearts That once beat To the same rythem Now lay broken and sore Eyes full of unfulfilled desires As each tear, Slowly becomes The voice she is now afraid to use.
She thought to herself For what felt like endless moments "This isn't what I wanted" Awkward silence fills her mind With morbid ideas And self inflicting reasons To slowly tear herself apart
