So that thread is over a week old, but I wanted to point out something in the postcard thread:
Now I’m not offended or insulted by this, and I’m also pretty sure the person who did it didn’t mean for it to be insulting, but I feel the need to comment on it.
OF COURSE I’M BITTER!
How else am I supposed to feel?
This wasn’t a typical break up. I’ve already explained, and provided evidence for, how the reasons given to me for the break up were not consistent with what happened just over one month later. I said how I tried to talk to her sensibly about it, but she feels she doesn’t owe me a proper explanation.
I’ve never accused her of anything, but this makes me suspicious of foul play as in she was either cheating, or pursuing this other guy while she kept me on the side in case it didn’t work out. To think that I, or anybody else, would take all this with a smile is simply delusional.
If she or any of her friends want me to not be bitter and move on, the solution is very simple: instead of her getting angry and running away when I asked what really happened, just give an honest answer. Her avoiding me just makes it look more suspicious.
If the roles were reversed and she had questions (and knowing her better than most of you, she totally would) about how I got into a relationship with a previous female friend a month after telling her we had to break up mainly because I needed to fix myself, I certainly wouldn’t expect her to clam up and leave it alone. The world just doesn’t work that way. I’d talk to her about it because, after being with her for three years, I’d feel obligated to make her understand the situation. If I have nothing to hide, what reason would I have not to?
I’m also pretty sure that most of you who are friends with her wouldn’t be telling her to “drop it and move on” either.
Anyway, just thought I’d post that in here since I promised several months ago to keep any thoughts about my former relationship off the forums. I noticed that she’s allowed to throw a few jabs in though. . .
I removed the previous entry, but please understand:
March 26, 2012, 01:48:pm
My journal entry explaining why my ex and I broke up has ruffled a lot of feathers as I assumed it would. That’s fine. I didn’t exactly do it to make friends. If you want to hate me now, that’s fine. Personally, if you think that her constant updates about her new boyfriend in a place where she knows I’ll see it is acceptable behavior, I don’t think I want to be your friend anyway.
But let’s just say you and I had plans to go to dinner on Friday night. However, I called you Friday afternoon to regretfully tell you that I was feeling sick and couldn’t make it. You then find out a few days later that I spent that Friday night at a party.
In that scenario, I would think you’d have a lot of questions for me. And I think it would be respectful of me to answer those questions. If I blew off our dinner plans in favor of something that I found more interesting, I should be held accountable. But then again there’s also the chance that there could be a rational explanation for it; maybe I felt a lot better early that evening but felt awkward about calling you back and possibly inconveniencing you further, so when I found out about the party I went there instead.
The one thing I wouldn’t do is put my fingers in my ears and yell “LALALALALA!” when you confronted me. That’s exactly what she did.
This entry was merely to hold her accountable. That’s all. If it makes her look bad, there isn’t much I can do. She’s the one who chose to go about it that way. I didn’t make it up.
Now I understand there was that sensitive issue of bringing up her past. I mentioned in the entry that I felt funny about bringing it up, but I had to as it was an integral part of understanding everything. I kept that part as brief as I could, and honestly, if you know who she is (remember that I kept her identity hidden), you know about her past anyway as she’s publicly mentioned it on several occasions.
But then again, it’s her past and therefore up to her to decide when it gets mentioned. I wasn’t trying to humiliate her, I was only trying to give some perspective. I don’t think I was out of line for mentioning it, but I suppose I could’ve been more discreet in how I went about that issue. For that you have my apology.
Before some of you smugly declare victory, I’ll say that my decision to remove the entry is due entirely to VermAlex’s advice. He’s a good man and always has wise things to say about pretty much everything. I can’t say that I agree with him at the moment on this issue, but I’ll trust him. Maybe in my frustration and anger I’m unable to see things from that perspective.
As for the rest of our mutual friends, or perhaps former mutual friends now, if you care about things getting better, there is something you can do. First, ask her to be respectful and stop posting gratuitous stuff about her boyfriend where she knows I’ll see it. I sure as shit wouldn’t do it to her, and I think had the tables been turned, you would’ve thought I was a massive asshole if I constantly posted updates about my new girlfriend with whom I got together just a month after the break up. This wasn’t just some two week fling: we were together for three goddamn years. I was going to marry this girl. Her posting about him is pretty much rubbing my face in it, and it’s not cool.
Also, you can tell her that I’m available if she wants to talk about this and get it all sorted out. As angry as I am now, I don’t think she and I becoming friends is out of the question. All I ask for is a little honesty and respect. The same respect I gave her for three years.
I went out with some friends from college for our weekly pub quiz tonight. For the last several weeks we've done third place or better. This week we totally got our asses kicked and it was all my fault.
But that didn't matter because after I got there I saw Brian from The Gothsicles come in, and I said hello. Then I met the rest of his team which, as it turns out was I:Scintilla. They were very friendly people.
Their team name was We Won't Get The Sports Question which, ironically, they totally got.
Our was: Natalie Wood's Swim Class
They were the only group to find our name amusing.
