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Skybreaker's Journal
Soulless one
A little insight into my thoughts...
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Once...
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April 08, 2008, 10:06:am
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Eh what to say? I wanted to write that the past few days were really beautiful, mainly yesterday.
I am proud to say that,finally, I did something that I consider special, up until now I never thought anything that I ever did meant much, some things did, but I never considered that something that I did was special. Maybe to others some things were special, but for me myself I never considered something I did for is special, I only considered it normal because I'm that kind of person.
But yesterday I did something that I consider to be special. I didn't think I will manage to do something that could make me feel like I did something beautiful, something like kneeling and handing out a rose, kissing in the rain, sleep by a person you love, watch sunrise or sunset with your love, or stars and moon...
Well actually I did do some of those things, but though they are special I didn't feel like they were special enough for the person that received them, but yesterday I did feel that, I felt I did one of those things I always dream of...
Well the picture I uploaded says it all.
Mood: hard to explain how pleased I feel, happy
Music: Evanescence-You
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Parents
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April 04, 2008, 05:29:pm
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I have been thinking for a while now...
Parents...
WTF!!!
What the hell are they thinking!!!
They are here, they raise us, we should be thankful to them for that, and their role is to teach us how to pass through life on our own.
Where should I start my thoughts?
Well let's start from my home...
"I spent few night out from home drunk sleeping in a park", "We used to catch frogs and light them on fire and let them jump around" etc, etc, these are the sentences of my father. He always talks about fucked up and irresponsible things he did as a kid, but I'm not allowed to have bite marks on me because that is dangerous!! I'm not supposed to enjoy things because they are a little dangerous? But he could do all the shit he did, and ofcourse he fought with his parents but I'm not allowed to say anything that is different than his opinion!
Let's move further...a dad of my friend...
He called my best friend and started threaten him, his family, and said some more things, including to stop seeing his daughter. And what is the reason? "She is not allowed to have a boyfriend until she finishes highschool" I mean WTF, and that's a massive WTF, I would like to hear what he did when he was a teen, I bet he didn't wait until after the highschool to start dating -.-
And I bet he wasn't a mormon or a priest either -.-
I wish he would use his brain and think about what he is doing and what he wants!!!
Moving even further...
Mother of my beloved said to her that I will leave her, that she doesn't deserve me, that she wishes I were her son!
I say WTF again!
First of all that woman never met me, and she has no right telling that to my loved one! She has no right telling her what I will do, how the hell can she possibly know what action I will take? And who gave her the right to make my beloved feel even worse than seh already feels?!
She is the one who should be her support, be her stronghold, help her in her life, not just say you are fucked up and lift her hands! I hate those people who just put down others without even knowing in what situation they are!
After all of this what can I conclude? Parents seem to prevent us from being happy, as my mother says "We are here to make sure you never become what you want to be"
They try to make their mistakes go away by pushing us and thriving us to become what they wanted but failed to do, in essence they want to live the life they always wanted through us.
And if we are different from they they call us crazy, lift their hands from us and say how stupid we are, how worthless, how we don't deserve happiness.
Mood: Angry
Music: Murderdolls-Dawn Of The Dead
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School!
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April 03, 2008, 09:28:am
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In school again! Argh I hate it, but whatever...
I wanted to say that I just miss some things...lately I have been in strange moods, but one is certain: I have a person that I love, I have friends that are important to me, the only thing I miss now is blood. I'm angry at certain people, my parents mainly, and lots of people around me, I am kind of sinking into my animalish behaviour again, wanting to hurt someone, to smell and feel blood...but this time I don't want to hurt mysself, strange...but I guess I will, I kind of urge for the razor to ripp my flesh, for the liquid to start pouring out, to drink from that beautiful fountain of lifes energy...ah but I CRAVE for the blood of other human beings...actually a certain few persons...
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