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Shadow-Vampire's Journal
Read, its where i will post things
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Poems i have written
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March 01, 2008, 03:14:am
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POEMS
These are some poems i wrote sometime ago, perhaps a year or two, somethings in the poems, Remember these are old, and some of them may not be valid to this date...Enjoy
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Free write. What my life is like Adric.
My life is like a never ending piano piece as I go though different things in life the different keys are played at every turn and every bump that I encounter as I hit the sound
And that sad times the higher notes played with lower notes sound as the song echoes throughout my life always changing always becoming more and more different with each
Day that passes by I wonder when the next hard note with strike and I wonder when the next thing I will have to go though whether it's a bad thing...or something simply wonderful
I often wonder when and what I will struggle against and how hard it will be to cope with if I wait will something good come from life or if I go out and do things will the worst
Struggle I face come to me there is so many things that can happen and while the music is playing I think and wonder when the song will stop how the song will end on what
Note will the song ring out and finally stop will I be there to play that note or will it be played for me in a sense of being lost and out of place when I see how people look at me
its as if they where hitting a black key its sour and always gives off that sort of " bad" sounding note when played wrong but if you play the keys right and get to know your
Keys well then you will come out with a great sounding piece of music that never sounds out of place but we don't always get to know the keys and sometimes we don't have
To. Others just know what to play and how to play it...and then there are people who have to take the time to get to know the keys and there sounds when playing so they don't
Make the mistake of hitting a wrong key and when they do every body hears it and everybody feels it. When the right keys are played in the right order you hear a song that
Comes from nowhere yet always seems to end up someplace...a. place...you least expect...a...place...that's hardly used the heart is where it seems to go and my fingers are where
It seems to flow from and then I let the sound ring out until it fades......and. then...there is nothing.......
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Lies.......Love.....why people lie about the world...why do people lie about love...when teenagers just throw that word
Around like it's a game of dodge ball you throw it towards somebody they dodge and pick it right back up. Throwing it at the
Next person they see without thinking the harm they can do...and the pain they can cause just by saying three words.
"I love you" when those words are spoken...you can make somebody the happiest person in the world...yet at the same
Times you can crush somebody's life to the point of death .when those words are broken...when the meaning is lost. And
You're just saying those words. Just to get what you want...whether its sex...or a new car to show of to your friends...and brag
About this new girl you hooked up with..... (Three weeks later)....the girl is cutting her wrists crying in the corner because...
You. Got bored of her and wanted a new girl to play with ...at every chance saying those words...
"I love you" when he really means" I want you for your money".......when life Truly Shouldn't be that funny.
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Adric.....Poem thing......
...... there is a lot people don't know about me....some people I tell others I don't...it all depends on who you are and how much I feel if
And trust you if
Your a friend from school...I generally don't open up a lot of the time I stay closed and well...I guess. My self......I am a closed of person its who I
Am....I have never really let me feelings out...and I have never really open up to people...there is a few I have....and I suffered greatly for it....other
Times it was the greatest thing in life it all depends on who I am telling and what my response is.... I often fear that when I open up to people they
will laugh.....or distant them self's further from me....as I often do with others people have opened up to me before...and I did nothing I have let a lot
Of people down in time...yet...made others the happiest people in the world...and because of a few people I feel I am becoming more open to
Others...as a result of a relationship I have that is out side of school...I don't tell many people about my life out side of school...it often as way to
much drama in it and I don't wish the mix school with that....it would destroy me...and yet...make me stronger at the same time...if people truly knew
What I go though when I get home...then they might understand me better...nobody really understands me...only two or three people do...one of
Which....is the one I am in a vary strong relationship with...and I don't know what I would do without this person...I have helped her though the worst of
Times as she has helped me also...I would be lost in a world of darkness and pain without her....many people don't know of this ..."other life" I lead
at my house away from everybody else....away from life...in a confined room....closed off to everybody...but the ones who I allow in to see.....if I
Where to mix the two "life's" it would be devastating.......not only for me...but...possibly for the others involved...I do now know where this will
lead...and I don't know how much more of the drama I can take...there is some at school...but...not nearly as much as there is when I am...living my
other life....some say its a waste of time...others say I have no life...But I tell you....it more of a life then ,many have....it may be the internet where
Most of the drama happens....But. It is real...and people have suffered greatly...including my self....and the ones I love to this day
...and past loves I have had....so I tell you this...stay away from the drama don't get your self into anything you can just as easy get your self out of
Because people do get hurt and people do die...because of the stupid. Drama we live from day to day...I putt up with drama...Every day....and I
Try to help....and I try to fix it.....But....Why do I try to help when all I do is fucking it up?!?!
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Black and white keys that's what i play, to get my feelings out each and
everyday,love the sound of every white key, i touch each key with much of
loving u in me, i touch every black key to get that dangerous feel , now i
jus need my dear heart to heal, i touch those keys with every strike of
pain , i strike those keys for every drop of rain, to catch my drift you
have t o know what i say piano is my life my hour my ach and everyday
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Mood: Meh
Music: Amon Amarth
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Dawn...
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February 26, 2008, 01:05:am
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i hung out with a dawn a few nights ago...it was Amazing... i have missed her a lot and i feel we have become a little bit closer...i wish i had a chance with her, all i can do is hope, and we have been talking a lot about relationships and what she wants and all of that...and i what she wants...given her choices of what she wants to do after school....i just don't know...i want more then i can actually have at this point, so i will just see where things go with her...and hope she chooses me...i am not even sure if she sees me that way....we will just wait and find out..
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