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RA3LYN's Journal
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well now...
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October 05, 2008, 07:48:pm
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i think im finally at somewhat of a steady point
working out more..
keeping my self busy..
looking for a new, better job...
my neice is going to be born in 5 days ! yay!
her name is going to be Emma 
i got rid of the ex's...
that was a bit of a bump in the road lol..
but im better off without...
there will always be a place in my heart
for my ex..but point blank.. its over... move on
i think for the 1st time in a while..
im actually somewhat happy ..
somewhat lol... not all the way there yet but ..
im getting there..
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Life....Crashing.....Burning......
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September 10, 2008, 03:41:pm
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So many things are good right now.
But so many are bad.
I just want to sit and cry.
Im so depressed.
I look at my past...
i use to be so happy.
where did it all go?
my happiness?
my life?
my family?
my friends?
all torn apart from me.
i fucked up.
im not exactly sure where...but i did... i know i did.
i just want to be happy.
i want the pain to go away.
i hait the feeling of hait for myself.
but latley thats all iv felt.
i want it to change but i dont know how to change it.
i really dont.
and all these guys latley ... all the same bullshit
" ill never do that to you"
"ill never hurt you"
yeah... ok.... iv heard it all before
even though i want to hear it...
im sick of hearing it at them same time
im so sick of being alone... but right now...
alone is all i know...
from every point of view..
Mood: i hait this place... this feeling...these tears..
Music: slipknot
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today..
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July 12, 2008, 10:10:pm
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well fist off i found the perfect song to
tell how iv been feeling latley..
fuzzy blue lights by owl city
usually i dont listen to bands like that
but i really like the song..
helped me kinda put aside the pain..
well then i went out to montgomery and got
unevenly sunburned haha
just my luck
went out on the lake
in the boats :]
pretty cool.. it was fun....
got stuck at one point lmaoo...my fault ofcourse lol
but i have some new pics up from today
that u should go check out
idk.. latley iv been so upset
everything has been falling apart
and btw my 2 exs... i just want to scream
until i can nolonger scream...
such a confusing feeling.. i hait it.
i hait them also haha..
idk... i just needed today.
i need more days like this.
Mood: pondering about this broken beautiful crazy life..
Music: owl city..... fuzzy blue lights..
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: [
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July 10, 2008, 10:27:am
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why do i keep doing this
to myself?????...
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dont know..
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July 09, 2008, 09:02:pm
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hmm..
iv been so confused latley
all i want is to be happy
but its almost like i forgot
in a way.. how to be happy
its like in just blank
inside and out..
expression and all...
its not even like im
terribly depressed...
just empty.
i dont know what to do anymore...
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