sorry guys... Ever feel like you have what you've been looking for? then outta no where its taken away and its not what its was? ever feel like you try to make an epic thing outta sand but it keeps falling apart in your hand cuz u cant get at water? ever see everything u ever wanted start fading and become something else? but your want still burns and your heart still jumps for it ever think cuz you want that one thing so badly that you make yourself feel and think like this? like everything is right at your finger tips but you cant fully put it to you? and all the movies where the girl gets everything she ever wanted and everything ends ok? what about if the girl isnt happy? what if she has so much on her and she cant get any of it off? what if she didnt get to play like a little girl should? what if she wakes up and thinks about what food they have and if she can feed the kids and clean and try to give them what she didnt have what if she wakes up and thinks about the bills and money and a better job and classes so she can have SOMETHING when she breaks away the rocks on her. what if she doesnt have help with any of this? maybe she fears to ask for any help and just maybe somethings wrong with her ever think this girls needs someone to tell her she doing a good job with what she has or when she asks for a little help dont say ok babe or alright hun and do fucking nothing maybe she wants to feel like she can do something right ever think about this? i mean it the movies she finds her true love who will do anything for her. she never worries about parts of her family dying and money and everything ends fucking perfectly.. and what if this cry can feel herself starting to crack and break what about when she has a break down and slips to far? does anyone ever think about that? no...they don't no one does.
i need my sister...she was always there when we were little girls and now i still need her..i need her to tell me everythings gonna be ok...
Mood: perfecly numb... Music: Elliott yamin - i'll wait for you
So starting today i'm off of pop...its gonna suck so much dick lol tomorrow night starts the work out! and today...no more fast food if i can help it (other then you know like dates and stuff) lol i'm trying to be who i wanna be hoping this helps me
next thing in line...A CAR!! and G.E.D!! car first so i can GET to classes lol
so everyday when i wake up and look at myself i see someone i am NOT happy with. today i got pissed about it. Tomorrow i'm gonna start being who i want to be. i got it down so ppl know how i feel but my look is still all wrong. Give me something to go off of guys i'm gonna start running and working out tomorrow and i'm cutting alot of stuff i like...like pop...*dies* help meeee
