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PORSELAIN_DOLL's Journal
<3
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Wait for me... [dedicated to the one I love]
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November 18, 2008, 03:07:pm
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Wait for me
Every night, I dream of your eyes.
Every night, I dream of your smile.
Every night, I dream of your lips kissing mine.
I know it’s a dream,
But I hope someday it’ll come true.
But till that day there is no way
I can share my dream with you.
I have to be patient,
I think you love me.
Because when we talk,
There is this amazing chemistry.
It gives me butterflies in my stomach,
And weakens my both knees.
Baby, I’ll wait forever to be with you,
Can you wait for me please?
Mood: down/confused/in love
Music: Nightwish - Kiss while your lips are still red
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Perfect Silence.
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November 07, 2008, 12:06:pm
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Perfect silence
I close my eyes,
Everything turns to black.
There’s no escape now,
No turning back.
My breath fades away.
I don’t know a thing.
Everything turns grey,
There’s something missing.
But still, no silence. Perfect silence.
My mind is confused the only thing I feel
Is a slash on each wrist
And the bloody razorblade inside my fist.
I’m starting to feel weak and empty inside.
Still secretly hoping you’re here by my side.
But still, no silence. Perfect silence.
My soul fades to nowhere,
As the floodgates break,
Blood all over.
I pray this wasn’t a mistake.
Bit by bit I’m starting to feel the lightness in my head.
The voices seem far away
Now I know it’ll come;
Down as I lay.
My silence.
Forbidden silence.
My silence,
Sweet,
Perfect silence.
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poems...
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October 31, 2008, 07:44:am
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Twisted whisper
Malicious voices whisper in my ear
All else is gone, it's all I hear
Intrepid words spin out of control
Leaving me but a twisted soul
A whirlwind of despair
Dislodging me from those who care
Insults flying across the room
Threats promising my doom.
After all is done
and I know they've won
I realise I've survived again
Driven perpetually insane
I realise I've survived this war
Only to endure this many times more.
Tunnel of doors
A tunnel of doors connecting two places,
That tunnel, it only ever sees two faces.
Only two who have the key.
They who have it, he and she.
Don't know why the doors must always be locked,
As if someone or something, was trying to be blocked.
The two would wander down the hall and through the doors they intercepted.
Locking each door as they strolled along, but then something happened that was unexpected.
She went to lock the second to last door,
He stopped her to stay a moment more.
Just as he and she were about to kiss,
She was ripped away from that single moment of bliss.
She is lost, lost in her own personal hell now.
A place sweet thoughts, her mind refuses to allow.
No longer able to sleep,
No appetite to even eat.
She wants so bad to feel,
Something that might actually be real.
Get her away from where ever this place is,
So that she may be held by those awaiting arms of his.
Now back to he who was left alone,
He had no thought to think, no memory of her existence to be shown.
What happened to her will never even be known.
That key that was once his, into the trash it was thrown.
Abandoned and betrayed by her own mind.
She who wanted to be happy so bad is was practically a crime.
She was forced to stay in this place not even worthy of grime.
This hell is what made her the monster, that she will be until the end of time.
I Could Watch You Die
You could come crawling at my feet,
you could beg, plead and even cry.
But those tears, they won't move me
I'd just stand there; watching you die.
For so long I've wanted nothing,
except this one dark desire.
My heart may feel some compassion . . .
no, that would make me a liar.
The years this life has given you,
should have been taken long ago.
Why your conscience hasn't killed you,
it's the one thing I'll never know.
So pathetic and so worthless,
you're something lower than dirt.
With a heart of stone, so cold,
your hands inflicted so much hurt.
You've tormented me my whole life,
corrupted every thought of mine.
With wounds that drained my happiness,
scars that cannot be healed by time.
You could beg for forgiveness,
with your final, dying breath.
I'd wait; making sure you're gone,
hoping to God a painful death.
Each passing second my hatred grows,
forgive you?! - I won't even try.
You could come crawling at my feet,
I'd just stand there; watching you die
- Yes those are all mine, please don't steal them, that would be the same as stealing my feelings.-
Fleur
Mood: down
Music: none
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September 27, 2008, 05:25:am
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When I die
When I die tomorrow,
Tell to the trees;
How much I loved you.
Tell it to the wind,
Who climbs in the trees
And falls out the leaves,
How much I loved you.
Tell it to a child,
That’s still young enough to understand.
Tell it to an animal,
Maybe just by looking in it’s eyes.
Tell it to the house of stones,
Tell it to the city,
How much I loved you.
But don’t tell it to a human being,
Caus he wouldn’t believe you.
He wouldn’t want to believe,
That only a human loved another human,
Like I loved you.
Mood: in love / depressed
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poem : the mirror
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September 27, 2008, 05:22:am
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The mirror.
I look in the mirror and guess what I see,
I see all the things I hate about me.
My face and my body and everything up there.
The look in my eyes that goes nowhere.
My eyes overwhelmed with black make-up.
To cover all of the pain and tears up.
My face looks like it’s made out of porcelain.
It shows none of the things I have to put up with.
It looks like I don’t care about anything you say.
But it breaks me inside and the scars will always stay.
With every hurting word coming out of your mouth
I’m falling apart, inside and out.
I look in the mirror and guess what I see
I see all those things I hate about me.
My face and my body covered in scars from what you did before.
Visions of wounds I don’t want anymore.
I look in the mirror and guess what I see…
I see someone I don’t want to be…
Mood: in love/ depressed
Music: cute without the e - taking back sunday
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