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Nenya's Journal
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Close your eyes and let the thought pass
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December 02, 2008, 05:01:pm
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My world..
Crumbling away
Like a cheap toy
Laying in the street
At his side with all the things I've been told
While the hand I'm holding is slowly growing cold
My tears lie forgotten in my soul
Closer to the surface, but still I can't recall
Would you let them out for me?
Would you please hurt me?
I just want to feel again
Maybe I'll be a little more sane
Now let me throw you down
In hopes you'll pull me to the ground
Let me break the things I love
I need to cry
I need to scream
Need to release the pain and fear I'm holding
But despite the reasons why
I cannot cry
And it's burning a hole in my heart
And it's tearing my whole life apart
Won't you try understand what it's like?
Don't you wonder why I'm still alive?
At his side while I feel my past burning my mind
While he fades with every second passing by
If I tell you I'm not afraid
I'd be lying to you
I can't help but look ahead to unknown days
Can't help but wonder if it'll all end this way
And how will I move on?
Must this be the road we're walking on?
Fear floods the veins beneath my skin
The poison waiting for me to give in
A cage that's slowly driving me down
All I really want is to get out
Out of my head, my heart, my mind
Out of my life
Let me die
Let me out
Let me fade into that pitch black velvet night...
Mood: Indescribable
Music: Sonata Arctica - Draw me
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Is it me? Do I look beautiful in the half light?
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October 17, 2008, 01:44:pm
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This is a song I fell in love with yesterday. I wish you could've been there.
Porcupine Tree ~ Half Light
Such a pale light
Such a long night
Pick up that key
Don't drop your gaze in your coffee
Is it me?
Do I look beautiful in the half light?
It's been so long
Years have gone
Since I belonged
Hold me please
Stay with me
And I will sleep
I will go now
But I will be with you
Hold my gaze
Hold me inside you
Mood: Afraid
Music: Porcupine Tree ~ Half Light
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~*~ Hear me out before I lose my mind ~*~
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October 17, 2008, 01:35:pm
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We all fall down
Once in a while
Feel the thoughts flow past me
I don't think I can center myself in me
Try to grasp the truth with frozen hands
Nothing in the world is screaming my name
But who could be blamed?
Cut my cheek with a little kiss
Lost in the skin beneath my fingertips
I'm drowning on the air I breathe
Nothing in this life is worth living for
Will I hit the floor..
.. before I die?
And I,
And I...
And I am lost..
And yes, it's cold
So much colder than I thought it would be
I hear the wind
It's blowing through me
Making me aware of the dawning winter
It's coming home again - It's here
Swiftly taking away the things I hold dear
My life, my love, my home..
And I am gone
And yes, I long
I desperately long for arms to hold me
Be close to my bleeding heart
I need peace
A temporary state of mind that I can't find
So let me drown in the illusion
Of warmth - A perfect way to ease the pain
No life, no love, no home
I'll be gone
Something broke inside my stomach
I let the pieces lie just where they fell
And slowly my voice flows with my thoughts
I hear me say the things I never wanted you to know
But I'll tell you anyway
You're the only one who tried to listen
Maybe I just wanted to let it all go
No, I've never met you before, but I love you just the same
So be my lover for tonight, I'll confide my fears
I'll cry those hidden tears
And I feel the little kiss that cut my cheek
In the haze of this extacy I try to lose my mind
I try to close my eyes
You're all the prey I ever needed for one night
Maybe I just wanted to rip you apart
Yes, I desire to devour you whole, and have you inside me
So come closer than you were before, I'll undress my love
I'll let go of my heart
I'll stop
I'm perfectly fine but
I just need to lie down
Mood: Afraid
Music: Porcupine Tree ~ Heartattack in a Layby
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