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Morpheuschikka's Journal
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Im sick
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March 01, 2008, 02:48:pm
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I am sick of everything and everyone.
Nothing changes, and people are always going to be the same.
Im flirting with suicide, I want to be with it.
Life isnt seeming to have a point,
I was thinking last night, and came to a conclusion that everybody is miserable.
If you're rich, than your obsessed with money, and become greedy.
Therefore miserable.
Middle class isnt enough anymore.
They're miserable, too.
If you'r poor, you seem happy enough,
You take nothing for granted, so it seems.
Yet you dont have enough to get by.
You are miserable, and so am I.
Im not sure which category I fall under.
I have money in the bank, and no bills to pay.
Im in debt to life,
I take everything for granted, by hating everything!
Im sick of myself, most of all.
I hate who Iv become, and Im scared to change.
If I cant go wrong, where can I go right?
I Yearn for freedom, but I cant find it..Not even in my mind anymore.
My thoughts suffocate me, and push me away.
Its pathetic when you're not even welcome in your own mind.
(this is how you mimmick ignorance)
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Old suicide note.
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February 03, 2008, 03:00:pm
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Peace out..
If I had a chance,
To say goodbye,
Before I die..
To you, I would say hey. As If it were any other day. Listening to your plans of taking me for granted, "I'll see you tomorrow." You think you know. I don't stop you though, you dont even recognise your clueless. Individually and simeltanously we open our arms to collide for our last hug. Our ritual of hello and goodbye: Goodbye. I'm not sure if I'll ever see you again. Usually its easy for me to let out my feelings when I don't have to worry about a reaction. Somehow my mouth and mind can't work together when it comes to something so intense, so I'm writing this letter. I just have a feeling my body will quit today, somebody told me in my dream. You were there too, you always have been. You're my best friend, but only because some famous somebody probablly once said, that best friends are forever, until they become something more, and I love you, and I've never felt love before. I'm addicted to you. I would die without you. That's why I never told anyone, you're my biggest secret. I don't know how love works out, I always thought it would alst without a doubt, but thats just a thought, not a fact, so it wasn't worth risking you. I don't think anything is. It tears me apart when you're sad, and I think the world stops spinning when you're mad at yourself. You'r smile could never light up a room, because it lights up my whole world. You'r eyes could never sin, because they're the purset thing I know, defeating everything unworthy-They burned a hole through my soul. Sometimes I think my eyes aren't even worthy of being blessed with you'r beauty, but I can't look away. So I'll wait for the phone to ring with you on the other end..I guess I take you for granted too. So if not, I'll wait for you on the other side.
P.S. Since the first day I met you, I couldn't stand being without you. I dont believe in love at first sight, and until you came along I thought it took years, atleast months to fall in love, but look at me now. I'm a sucker for you, and I'd to anything you asked me to. Just say the word and I'll be there doing all I can. I love you.
Mood: Ehhhh.
Music: The rejection, Dangerous muse.
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