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MelSgam's Journal
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Flashbacks, Rape, B&H Candy, New Roomate, Stress and Shoutouts<3
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December 12, 2007, 01:03:am
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long fucking entry
recap from yesterday and today
gave a few shout outs too :-) so look for your name in bold
Today was the end of it!
I mean don’t get me wrong I have class Thursday but just to hand in a portfolio and take a final for human nutrition, then donalds class on Friday which will be a total joke.. but project, work, shooting, printingwise, I am fucking DONE!!!!!!!! ☺
Yesterday was a TOTAL DISASTER (but it started out pretty good) >_< 9am to take an art history final though I actually think I passed that, health office to find out all my levels of cholesterol, triglycerides and jazz like that went down to healthy levels, and I managed to get a Yaz prescription for the next 6 months, then I have to go back and get a BP check again, but I’ll be back at the health office after winter break anyway (I’ll get to that in a few paragraphs). Truthfully a lot of what I did after that is a total blur-- went to see dbeorah so she could help me fix the CG issue I was having with my schedule so she sent me across the hall to some lady who works for the department, my password didn’t work so I had to go to the next building over and get a new one, come back, and see her again, to half argue the fact that I should be in the class of the block I was signed up for, so she filled out a thing to override the class listing and put me in it. All is good till it says im not registered for the PH Monday class, or my SS class, which makes no sense. I go across the hall again to see Deborah, she has no idea what im talking about, I go to the AAS lab to do a bit of work and grab lunch. I come back to debroah apparently having emaild me to say I was in fact in those classes and I could go register for CG…back to the AAS lab to register, where it wouldn’t let me, back to Deborah who sent me back across the hall to get my override slip signed, who sent me back to say it was the wrong document, to come back and find out it was the correct document….at the end of all that mess
I’m in the CG and PH classes I am supposed to be in Monday mornings for block one.
Phew.
Now for the Registrar to figure out my audit, I just needed to get an elective I thought I needed a lot more, but my schedule next semester is AWFUL. I have two full days of classes and 2 days of semi full, I guess it could be worse, but whatever. I know I have to take English again cuz I obviously failed this semester, and HOPEFULLY I managed to pass art history because I have NO room in my schedule next semester for it!! (not good news. But I think I did okay, so we will wait and see)
As I sit in the AAS lab relaxing after all that fucking running around to do, I hear from krisha that the email Christina sent me about all the shit due tomorrow (today) had a second attatchment I never saw, which took me from having no work to having a SHIT LOAD of work to do, and only about 4 hours to do it last night, and 4 hours to do it today (which I will certainly get to), on top of studying for her final and doing the writeups, I had to print my glassware which turned out shitty cuz I left a negative at home…NOT good news…so I printed the one I had and would have to print my other one tomorrow (today). I met up with tim in the darkroom and steve showed up later, I was done printing by the time hed gotten there and we went to the Lab after a small freakout about all the work we had just found out we needed to do. After a few email correspondences with Christina, as well as krisha, everything was settled and we got to work scanning negatives and photoshopping.
After walter kicked us out of the lab Steve and I went to smoke a cigarette and grab some pizza and then I was on the train, and out like a light—or at least TRYING to be out like a light.
I had an annoying “witty” guy, 2 loud Italians, a drunk guy yelling at a chick , and some snobby lady in a full fur coat with a shit ton of bags, on her cellphone. The “witty” [and I mean those quotes with the MOST sincerity] guy walks on and makes some dumb announcement trying to be cleaver and what not, about no cellphones being allowed on the train and blab la bla, to which the Italian guys didn’t like and started talking trash about him, all the while the annoying bitch is sitting on her cellphone talking to her friend about wha”ts going on on the train. We hear yelling from the car in front of us andshe stops her convo and gets all up in everyones business to see what was going on—then as im sleeping, she wakes me up to ask me if there are ever announcements made about not being allowed on cellphones. To which I responded “yes its an unwritten law, cellphone usage around other passengers is considered rude and distruptive”… to which she reports back to her friend, on her cellphone, then just keeps talking…….. after the day I had, she was NOT the person I wanted to be sitting across from >_< And the Italian guys keep talking shit to eachother about the annoying guy in the back of the car, and the annoying guy is making jokes about beating up the guys in the front of the car that are fighting, and the snobby woman is just all up in everything, and all I wanted to do…was sleep.
Got home to do some more negative retouching, when Brittaney called. She was the absolute hilight of my night- she talked to her roommate and said that she was interested in rooming with me soo most likely-
I AM OFFICIALLY A DORMING STUDENT AT 31ST STREET NEXT SEMESTER
<3333333
I can not wait to sleep till 10 minutes before class again ☺ and hang out and do stuff and just be away from my home, away from long island, and giving myself a fresh start and actually getting to spend quality time with my friends that I didn’t get to spend last year…
After getting off the phone with roomie sarah (lol) I decided to study a bit for christina’s final- which I would later learn did me NO good, and around 1am realized what time it was and decided I had better get to bed….i stared at my ceiling for about an hour before I passed out, to be woken up half an hour later than I needed to be up this morning.
Beautiful.
Get into class and realize that setting up and shooting my selective focus shoot JUST isn’t happening today, after nearly breaking down to Christina, and her showing me no remourse. I give up and go to the cage to take out darkroom equipment and negative scanner.
Walter laughed at me. He knew the sorry state I was in last night, and I was no better this morning.
Time for the final I was going to ‘ace’
FUCKING RAPE… that was the general census of the class in regards to that final.
I didn’t see a single person NOT ripping their hair out, not good news…….anyway I go to get paper from tim to find out he didn’t bring my paper to class, so I went to the graphics lab to print out my writeup, when I realized half my writeups were on my laptop and half were in my email, I called steve to see if he had left yet because he needed to get my paper and he told me he was at Tristate shopping for semigloss, and to meet up with him. I headed down the block to meet up with him post haste because honestly, I needed to get out of class before I had a nervous breakdown from all this stress – I never get stress, last night totally fucked me.
So tristate doesn’t have what he needs, and I needed a cigratee after just being raped by that final. I don’t really smoke cigarettes anymore, but damned if that wasn’t the best stoge I ever had. We pitstopped to buy a lighter at the deli and take some rips off the bowl. Worked like a charm, and we headed over to B&H to pick up some paper that “didn’t exist”…and I nearly punched the one of the greaters in the face because they really are in my hoolahoop sometimes.
Oh and I remembered why I liked being high at b&h so much- that candy is the shit.
Walked back to class after grabbing lunch and I printed my 3 prints, luckily they came out one after the other, so it took me like 10minutes…thank the lord. Today was not a day I wanted to be fussing with prints for hours.
Ran back up to the graphics lab to print out all my shit, assembled my manilla envelopes and handed in all my projects.
With 20 minutes to spare, I helped doctor up a fun little document for my old roommate with half of the department making suggestions, and managed to impress some people with my photoshop "skills" . Good to know I could make money as a counterfieter someday lol
Steve and I headed over to see Allen who wasn’t there, and on the way down the elevator ran into fake old people. They were two students dressed as old people and were rather convincing still i spotted real hair pointing out form under their wigs. They were pretty funny, and probably the weirdest thing I’ve seen in a long time.
Anyways so we went and grabbed a quick bite and mcdonalds then I peaced out and headed up to human nutrition.
Christina is DONE
All I have to do is put that shit in a book Thursday when she hands it back and I am GOLDEN :-)
Human nutrition blew like usual. Whatever.
Went to the lounge to sleep for about 2 hours, then had the nutritionist at Health services. (she’s only here nights, naturally, so that was teh best way to kill time)
I have to lose 35 pounds in 6 months. That roughly 6 pounds a month. It seems doable. She went over the basics and personally it wont be so hard to do...
Im just lazy.
I gotta start exercising and walking and eating right, nothing too traumatic, lol. And all the walking around the city ive been doing lately has certainly been helping me get incentive (both from commuting and leisure time), it isn’t so bad to wander around aimlessly in the cold for an hour getting some exercise when you’re with a friend(s), or smoking a j, or both, lol.
Im on the train right now pretty proud of myself for all the last minute work I pulled off, and if we didn’t have the final today I wouldn’t even have been stressed.
I’ve gotten so much better at working under pressure- personally I work BETTER under pressure. I cant write papers in advance, I cant do work weeks before it’s due, I just don’t have the motivation. But when you have shit due in 3 hours, you get it done lol, theirs just more push behind you.
Next semester I will have a lot more motivation to work.
I admit this semester was hard,
really hard.
I was still dealing with some Chris issues, we were talking on and off fighting and friends then being threatened then friends again—im a tool and a total doormat I know—but yeah, it was getting to the point of ridiculous. I was horribly depressed for the first half of the semester about not dorming or seeing my friends. It progressively got a bit better but it came a too late, after I had slacked off, cut out of classes, not done homework, and not shot half the shit i needed to shoot.
Steve has actually been rather helpful the last like 2 months in cheering me up/making me feel better (thought likely was not his intent lol). Truthfully its nice to chill with someone and get out of class for a little while to grab lunch or something and pretend you arent crazy busy for awhile, lol, and just be with someone mellow for a change. Not that I don't love all the people in my class, but i know Joe is always running around crazy busy, never has time to talk or hang out except maybe grab lunch (hopefully i'll get to see more of him next semester) and Tim is rarely there. And most of my classmates are obscenely crazy and stressed about things 99% of the time.
While I know I get stressed out sometimes, I am a generally calm person who likes to just go with the flow and take things as they come, and I felt like their was something wrong with the fact that I wasn’t doing a shit load of work or running around like crazy because that’s what all my classmates were doing., but come the end of semester (other than this glitch last night) I was kicking back, grabbing lunch, smoking blunts and just hanging, playing on my laptop, and just sorta watching everyone else ran around like chickens without heads.
Zen.
Krisha and Lauren have been good to have around too- they sympathized with the mass transit issues, and knew how stressful things could get. Laurens really goot to B.S. with and I had a lot of fun reading her memoir (ne ner ne ner ne nerrrr i got to read it fiiiirst!). Krisha is great for photo help and for talking out issues with and getting stuff sorted out, good to be friends with someone so organized and on task.
I feel less detached from the group in the last few months, I got to see the dorms, hang out a few days here and there, went out to the movies, and I’m around campus more, even if I don’t see Joe too much, although it was nice to go see Enchanted with him, even if it would’ve been way more fun to sit next to him and talk crap--- joey i missses you lol . I see Tim most times I’m in the room, and he has his days where he is nice to me, and his days where he runs me over with camera equipment… but hey it happens.
Things have just gotten progressively better :-) (again, aside from the last 2 days which were totally unexpected, and rare), and I think after winter break it will be so nice to be around school again, feel included, and not so lonely. I know Melissa will be home and I’m sad we aren’t going to cross paths as much as I thought we would, and the apartment idea is out the window, but honestly if I commuted again next semester I don’t think I'd graduate. Their was just too much stress in my daily routine, and the days were extended by 3 hours for the commute in the morning/afternoon……
i think i've rambled on enough for tonight
So yeah
I just needed to vent and recap
If you really read all this drop me a comment, it’s good to know I don’t talk to myself, even if this entry is long as fuck. ☺
Mood: O_o
Music: t.v.
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