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Love_Beyond_Reach's Journal
Mi Teenage Life >.< . . . .
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This one is long a stupid so don't read it. . .
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March 30, 2008, 04:01:pm
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So, theres this girl and her name, well her name is not important right now. Anyway this girl sacrificed her winter break and she was doing additional work for her english class. Why? You may ask. Well because she wanted to change her bad habbits and she wanted to pass nineth grade, she also wanted to make her mom more proud of her so to speak. Her exterior is quite normal. She has brown eyes, brown hair, has a bunch of friends and people who care about her,and she’s basically a noraml teenage girl. She is labeled as “emo”. No, she does hate labels but they are every where. She can’t provent them so she lets them happen. Her thoughts about school are pretty normal. ‘School is school and we’re in it for an education and for our future careers.’
This girls future plains are simple to get high school over with, to get community collage over with, persue her dream career in writing, find her ‘soul mate’, have a family and be semi weathy. But that’s not the case in this story. There is twists and turn in this girls life and I shall tell you about them.
Her great grandpa died about two years ago, every one in the family was connected in some weird special way with his death. Now, this girl was very close with her great grandpa. They had so much in common, both artists he would paint she would draw, both very smart they taught themselves almost everything they know, learned everything on their own, both read a lot of books, and both loved horror suspensful movies. When he died she cried but not one person saw her do so. She’s a very stobborn and proud person but he meant way too much to her.He was one of her heros, living through a war, and being the best great grandpa she ever had.
This girl never met her grandpa bob or her grandpa allen or even her other great grandpa bobby. But she did met her great grandpa max and her step grandpa mac. Of course she likes her grandpa mac but he just wasn’t like opa max. At times she can’t believe that her opa is died. When she thought about this always she cried in her room or where ever just away from people. That’s not it they’s more to her life.
Now, on with her dad. Well of corse sh loves her dad but she seems to never just have an actual conversation with him. He always has to get her upset and force to start an arguement. Now, she hates this but it’s the way they are and some how she accepts this. This girl is a mommy’s little girl. She loves her mom to death but her dad barely likes her let alone love her. Sometimes she would question herself if he does love her or he’s just saying it cause to her it seems like it. But that is also not the case.
You see this girl is into fantasy. She loves vampires, fairies, witches, wizards, and the unknown. She is mostly in her own world were there are all of those creatures plus more. In her world no one gets hurt no one at all, but in the real world she blames herself for most things, taking others pain and making it her own. She is deffinatly a good person though. She does something that others don’t. What she does is put herself in others shoes, see what they see, feel what they feel. No one knows about this though only she. As I said before she does seem like a normal teenage girl but alas she is not. This girl has some sort of a sixth sense. Yes, she can hear spirits and sometimes see them. That is a gift from god himself to her, but she does not know what to do with it yet. She only tells certain people cause most might think that she’s crazy.
She does seem like a happy person doesn’t she? Only to the people on the outside world not in her little world in her room she’s a very sad and lonely person. No one to talk to, to laugh with or to just hang out with. Being online doesn’t matter to her friends in person with does though. It’s hard for her to talk with her friends about some stuff,even with Dale, one of her best friends. They say that they understand but no they don’t you only understand if it has happened to you if it has not then your lieing to your own friend. How sad is that? She has her cell phone no more it broke. So, what’s left for her? Just being stuck online waiting for someone to resuce her away from her own missory weeping away. But she is a poet so there for she writes down all about her feelings her life what’s on her mind but she shows no one at all. She does love writing stories basically about make believe.
For you see she had to grow up faster than others she had to be more mature than others too. Why, you ask well because she had or still kind of has some family problems. That may explain a lot but to top it all of people she loves are dieing and most of her best friends have moved away not caring if they ever hear from her again. Though she looks back on the past and wonders if any one will ever remember her at all. She cries about all of the thoughts all of thoughs memories the happy and the sad. She also did a very bad thing at one point, she used to cut her writs and upper arm area. She does that no more it only seems to cause her more grief and disappointments. She is not to sure though but sometimes she comes to think that she is bipolar. But as I say if she actually was a normal teenage girl she’d be died by now. A lot of death expirences she has gone through. Jumping over snakes, to almost getting bitten by a dimond back rattle snake, to her being an infent and her two year old cousin sufficating her with a pillow, to getting herself almost thrown out a window, to even her infant self falling off the changing table, to her getting panic attacks, and to even thinking that her mom was going to die and leave her there all alone.
Now, she loves her mom so much if something ever happened to her she wouldn’t be the same ever. She does know that every one dies but when her mom is older then she will understand but now no she’d be nothing sure stuff would matter to her but not that much. The girl moved and has a big house and a new bedroom set but she’s still not happy. It’s much more than that nothing seems to go right in her life. It’s a long story and she doesn’t need help all she does need though is real true friends that tell the truth and only that even if it hurts, someone to make her laugh and smile not weep and cry, someone that makes her feel like theres not a care in the world but for her that someone has yet to come.
She does miss her great grandpa, her dog, sheba, and her bunny named zoom a whole bunch. They all left her and they were her best friends and her hero. Sheba died of nose cancer. Zoom died of the west nile virous. And her Opa Max died of natural causes he was almost one hundred, ninty-four I do believe.
This teenage girl sees more in life than we do. She looks out side the box and beyond. She is one of a kind and she knows not to look in the past but she often does. Just sitting there thinking about who knows what, all of the time. Some may ask if her friends acknowledge this. But alas she doesn’t think so. They way she thinks the only ones that care about her are her mom and family but they are sopossed to care. Aren’t they?
Most people fear death but not this girl the only thing she fears is her loved ones getting hurt and loosing her true love. She actually welcomes death with both hands. She says and I quote ‘To live would be a great adventure, but to die would be an even greater one.’ unquote. As I said before I shall say again she is most certainly not normal. Now is she? Hopefully in her life this little message will help some how some way. Now, I end this by saying that I am that teengae girl who you read about.
Mood: blahh
Music: Funny Day by Eiffel 65
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Balloon The Inside Joke . . .
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March 30, 2008, 03:42:pm
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On a fall chill evening my friend Hailey decided to spend the night at my house. We were having a jolly good old time, watching movies, playing games, and chatting up a storm. Soon the clock struck two a.m. At that point we were getting a tad bored. I came up with the idea of taking a stroll through the darkness of the night. Hailey agreed willingly. We then changed into a more proper attire. I gathered up my ipod and jacket while tying my shoes.
Hailey and I attempted to sneak out of the house sly like foxes. That didn't happen at all. Hailey didn't notice a box end was placed directly in the middle of our path. She tripped and a squeak abruptly left her mouth causing me to go into a fit of giggles. I then realized how l oud we were being and I imminently fell silent as Hailey did the same. Hailey searched for a sign of life. It seemed as though everyone was sleeping soundly. We continued our attempt to escape out of the house unnoticed. All of a sudden my cat Harley darted in front of Hailey unexpectedly. This caused her to jump smacking into the wall and tumbling a bit before regaining her balance and composure. Giggling silently we made it out of the house.
I then glanced up at the piercing moon and we began darting down the street. Soon we slowed down seeing as though it did no good to run. We started to chat some more with unidentified exquisite detail about absolutely nothing. As we rounded the corner I spotted a cheap home balloon on fishing wire. Looking at Hailey, she was already getting the balloon off of the pole. Chuckling to myself. We then continued our stroll with the balloon at hand.
A truck started to drive down our street. We imminently dove superman style into the bushes near by. As soon as the truck came it vanished. Getting out of the bushes and walking along we hear a twig snap. Assuming it was a stalker we panicked. I let out a sharp screech and ran down the street without thinking. In the distance I heard Hailey's echo of screams. Looking back I stopped and burst into a state of uncontrollable laughter. She still had the dumb oversized balloon in hand.
After calming down we realized that the twig snap was a little bunny. Laughing at our idiotic behavior we continue to strut back home. Hailey and I decided the balloon had put us in a predicament we then released it making a wish to the heavens above. Finally, we retreated home safe and sound. Changed back into our PJs and slept the rest of the morning.
Mood: blahh
Music: Crushcrushcrush by Paramore
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