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LetUsPrey's Journal
My Name is Raven...
Read At Your Own Risk...
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Dead Letters
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July 30, 2008, 03:11:am
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I found the title "Dead Letters" appropriate for this because each next paragraph is a letter from me, to someone anonymous, and not knowing if the person or group in question will actually read this or receive the letter, making it uncertain that the letter reaches it's meant destination, or dead, if you will.
- Dear. I'm very sorry I wasn't there to see if the ending of your fairy tale with him was a happy or a sad one. But I only left because I still don't know which one would have hurt me more. I love you I love you, I hope you're doing great. Love Raven.
- Dear. Despite what you think, I see everything you do for me, and I am more than just thankful. But you gotta understand, I have to stay strong, I have to be able to pack my bags and leave. It's my weapon, it's always been. Love Raven.
- Dear. I found the truth about you, and what you did. Now I wonder how much of it was a lie? I've been thinking about it ever since, and I guess you could say I'm rather disappointed than annoyed. I had made many promises to you, and after all this, I decided to keep my promises. I will keep my promises, but know this: It will never be the same. Raven.
- Dear. You said it was going to be fine. That it was going to be over soon. Then why did I sit on your grave, crying? I never got the chance to thank you, it was an honor to be beside you sir. Don't worry, I gott'em, avenged you but it still doesn't feel right... I needed you. Rest in Peace. Ravenzyx.
- Dear. You treat me like a hero, when you're a better more successful man. You left me and all that we built together, to go to a better place. Then why are you stuck alone in nowhere? Come back home, and we'll rule together again. Love Raven.
- Dear. What I learnt from you in life I value to this day. But you were more than a great teacher, you were a great friend. To this day I'm following in your footsteps, trying to bring myself the success that I saw you in. You'll always be a role model for me. Thank you. Love Raven.
- Dear. You are a great person, nice and caring. All you do is try to be my friend. But I keep pushing you away, and I'm sorry, but I don't need another friend. You'll find what you need elsewhere. Good luck. Raven.
- Dear. You are responsible for reviving feelings within me that were dead for a long time. I've been through a lot baby, and I know we all have. But with you sometimes I want to share, I want you to know what I went through. Where I've been... What I've seen... But I'm afraid! I don't want to be rejected again. Some people may look at me as a bad person for what I've done... But please you know me better than that! Believe me, it wasn't easy for me, I was so scared. But I would never hurt you, I owe you too much, after all you made me feel love again... Don't ever let go of me, the wound that would be inflicted will then be mortal. Love Raven.
- Dear. Once upon a time all you did was fuck up. But I know that you were young and you had your reasons. But now you've been trying to make up for it, and I see how great of a job you've done. But understand that I have my own life now, and I'm doing fine. I'm never ever coming the place you call home, because I've made my own. Thank you for all the help throughout the way. You're truly and amazing person. Love Raven.
- Dear. Both our lives had been adventurous when we met. Two lost souls, traveling around the world. We had the best time together at the end of the world, in the mountains, in the forest, at the lakes, where no one could see us. Definitely best days of my life with you. Love Raven.
Thank you for reading.
Mood: Gettin' it all out
Music: Nothing at all
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Four Years
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June 28, 2008, 09:04:pm
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I wrote this on July 2nd for my best friend back in Leb, who'll always be a part of me I guess..
Four Years
I've made the right choice, After 4 years.
4 long, long, years.
4 years of solid, best, friendship.
Always together, but somehow apart,
One of us is hiding, One of us is lying.
Yeah, we went through a lot the last 4 years,
And though we've made each other cry,
We were always hugging and laughing the next day!
We went almost everywhere together! And we enjoyed every moment of it!
We would drive for hours in my car, park somewhere at the beach, Watch the sunset...
And then you would tell me how he hurt you this time, and why you were crying the other day...
Sometimes you'd cry on my shoulder, sometimes I'd cry with you...
And then you would promise me that you're never gonna let him hurt you again!
Then we'd talk and laugh for hours until the sun would come up, and I'd drive you home,
And watch your back as you walk away to your front door
And just two words would echo in my mind as I'd watch you go....
"If only..."
One of us is hiding...
Yeah, we've been through a lot the last 4 years!
We've been to cafés every week!
We've rented and watched movies together,
We've drove around with nowhere to go,
We've gone shopping together in the malls,
I thought you to how to drive! You thought me how to fry potatoes!
We even were in the same class at some point!
Sometimes, I'd watch you with him; How he made you so happy... and I would smile, and think:
"Its weird how someone who can make you so happy... can also be the biggest pain in your life..."
Yeah well we've been through a lot these last 4 years,
Best of friends! ...
But....
There's always a "But"......
But.... I chose to leave....
After 4 years, I just packed my bags.. and left!
After 4 years... heh.... I haven't stopped loving you yet.... and I probably never will....
I just left, without ever saying a word, without telling you how I really feel...
Because, in the last 4 years I've come to know you pretty well. And in you, a love for me, is non-existent.
Its weird how someone who can make you so happy can also be the biggest pain in your life, right?
I was always hiding it, I was hiding it for 4 years!
Always thinking about it, but always hiding!
And I left without ever saying it, and I'm pretty sure I've made the right choice.
I mean why would I say it, right? I know you there, I know you well:
Love for me? Zero. Nil. Nada. None.
Why say? To ruin everything?
Best I can do is close my eyes and hope that you're happy there...
All I need is to know that you're happy... And I'll be fine....
Don't you worry about me, I'll be fine... I'm fine.....
I'm fine sweetheart, I'm fine…
Mood: Just fine.
Music: Era
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