Well my mom is supporting me and the thought of me being pregnant lol I'm so happy I have her support and everything will be ok Now if only the asshole would get out of my mind and I could have the one girl I love in the world back in my arms and start the family we both want so badly <3
I really think everything will be ok now =] Gotta make an OBGYN appt, get a vet appt for my piggies, and call the city about the accident I got into, and call to get a check up and physical to make sure I'm all healthiful on Tuesday xD
So freaking excited! =D Mood: Tired yet happy! Music: Not Big - Lily Allen
Warning: This is not sappy. It will not make you sad for me.
If you read this, I hope you know I'm not the person you dumped. I'm the girl you fell in love with that was going through problems that you should have known would happen. I hope you think of me and know what you've lost, then maybe you'll talk to me once more about how you didn't ask how I felt when I lost something inside me that was yours.
I've realized after reading some of the break up book I got, you didn't do half the shit it says in it. We went to one movie, we always saw some show about rednecks and cars, went and looked at trucks. We never did anything special, and no its not cus we were different as you think, its because you never wanted to do anything. I don't make the first move, you wanna go somewhere take control and take me there, don't just sit around and wait for me. They say the first few days of a break up are the hardest and ya they have been but I'm changing the way I want to be, I'm doing things I think are fun and while your were around we didn't do any of that because... Well I don't know, you just didn't take me there... I don't want to be that girl that sits around and cries over a lost love, I was that girl. But I truly thought you were the one and now? Well I refuse to believe you will never think of me or what died inside me (literally). I was pregnant with your child, possibly twins, I'll never know, and you? I told you and you didn't even care. Then, you date someone a week later? You hang out with your ex who you constantly made fun of, said you hated, and you go back to her just to spite me. I never had a special nickname you called me, it was always babe, baby, hun, hunny, and the two times you called me Sexy Bear. I don't blame you for not showing your feelings, I understand your family, they way your dad was. But that doesn't mean you don't show feelings to the person you say you love. Some say that this is fate, others say "He'll be back, he will reach his arms and when your not there realize he needs you" Either way, I can't sit and wait for you to come back into my life, I need to move on and grow up. Hopefully you can too. I will always love you in some way. But after you not caring about something you created, you wanted later in life, that died. Thats what hurt the most. This is the last thing I'll write to you or about you because I'm finally releasing the pain you have struck me with. Sorry I fell in love with you 4 years ago. If I knew you were going to break my heart, maybe I wouldn't have. Mood: Done. Music: Drunk on You - Luke Bryan
Right now, I hold two necklaces that were symbols of a once great love. I look back and think of the good times, the moment I got each necklace.
Necklace 1: You gave me the box I gave you the bracelet I bought for you and said "Don't open this until later." I agreed and waited to open it. While you were downstairs with everyone on New Years, I opened the box in the kitchen. I read the note and smiled the widest smile. I took the necklace and put it on, proud to wear the matching one to yours. I loved it with all my heart. Now, I can't bear to look at it.
Necklace 2: As you held me in your arms, you gave me the necklace and I nearly cried. It was something no one had thought of before and it was just that more amazing that it came from you. The next day at school I showed everyone of my friends the necklace and smiled the entire day. I took pictures, even showed my family who had no clue I was pansexual. I loved you to the sun and back. I looked at it today and cried while I put it among my other jewelry.
Each necklace meant something to me. Each person who gave it to me was amazing in their own way. The person who gave me the first necklace was my partner in crime. It didn't work and now I realize we are both better without each other. You were my 'meanie penis' and I will never forget the love I shared for you. I wish you the best of luck and hope life treats you well. The person who gave me the second necklace was someone I will never forget. You watched me fall for you, told me you loved me, then threw me away. I still miss you to this day and I know I will till the day I die. You were my someone, my love, my perfect, my addiction. I'm sorry how things ended, but I truly don't think I will ever forgive you for the heart ache you caused. I forgive you for leaving, but not for the way you did it.
Love has a funny way of ending, it never truly leaves, it scars your heart in way you didn't think possible.
