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Jaryck's Journal
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ready to die
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April 13, 2008, 10:51:pm
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so, i'm sitting here and i've lost my girlfriend. the only important thing to me. I'm feeling so depressed and incomplete, the pain of lonliness is breaking me apart. With out francesca and knowing that she will tell me that she loves me when i call is unbearable. I'm willing and ready to die. Almost to the point that i'm willing to die by my own hand. if anyone knows what to do, please tell me. Francesca, if you read this, the reason i didn't call for a while every week was because i was working so i can pay to come and see you, i was sacrificing some phone time to spend some physical time with you. I love you so much and always will.
Mood: suicidal
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i need help
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February 19, 2008, 08:06:pm
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i'm writing some songs and i need some help with lyrics.
techno, metal, rock, emo, industrial are all welcome. if you have an idea let me know thnx!
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Just Bein Emo
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February 19, 2008, 06:49:pm
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yet again i sit alone and wonder if life is worth living. I am happy with a lot of whati have. As a matter of fact, there isn't a thing that i regret having. There isn't a thing i regret not happening. But so far, life seems to be full of pain, suffering, anger, hate, betrayl, and envy. I feel all of these on a daily basis, i wish my pain would stop. I wish i could make it stop. I know i can, but if i did, i would only be adding to the pain of those who care about, or even love me. Is it worth it hurting my gf in order to stave of my own pain? God, i wish life was easy, but then i wouldn't grow would i? Franesca, i love you with all my heart, plz don't worry about this entry, i'm just venting my feelings.
Mood: suicidal
Music: Rise Against-Ready to Fall
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Just Bein Emo
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February 02, 2008, 01:26:am
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I an seriously wondering what the hell i have got left. I've got some awesome friends, but almost all of them have stabbed me in the back at least once. If there isn't a good reason in 24 hours, I don't think it will matter what people say or think. Nothing to talk or think about anymore. God, I've got issues.
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Just Bein Emo
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January 19, 2008, 12:59:am
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Is it possible to actually love somone or something that you don't have? Can you feel these things for someone that you have never seen, felt, kissed? Is it just me, or is there actually a way? Am I falling in love with a ghost? A figment of a reality that isn't actually real? Am I wasting my time in trying? Should I keep going? Is it worth the pain and longing for something over a thousand miles out of my reach? Should I go out of my way fora love that I haven't actually met? I think I should. I belive that the strain and the pain will all be worth it in the end. Hopefully, the end isn't as halting as it sounds. Hopefully, the end is only the beginning to an even greater journey. Only time will tell, and that is time I'm willing to pay.
I FUCKING LOVE YOU PANDA!
Mood: loving
Music: MentalEscape
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