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Foreverunborn's Journal
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Puppy Love
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November 13, 2008, 01:03:am
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I have missed the feeling of "Puppy Love" for so long. And I didnt realize really what it was until just now. I figured it out.
I met a boy, his name is Tyrone. We hung out once but then he had to go to a camp job for two weeks. He now sends me messages all the time about how much he misses me and stuff. Like come on! We hung out for an hour! there is no way you miss me that much! But at the same time I think that it is so cute!
I have not had a guy want ME so bad in so long!
And it is a great feeling, and I know this sounds bad but, to have a guy wrapped around my little finger. It has been way to long for me not to have something like that.
Yes I love Christopher. But he doesnt do "everything" that I ask him to anymore. I miss that. I would like it back. And while I am in Yellowknife I sort of get that. But this guy is not my boyfriend and I am not sleeping with him. And I know that is wierd of me.
And it was the most awkward good bye ever. He wanted me to come to his house and I was like no I dont think that I really want to... But he never really came out and asked he hinted towards it. And I dont know why I said that I didnt want to go. I think that, and this is the part where it gets crazy!, Some part of me is thinking Dwayne is behind this. Although I know that his family is from Fort Simpson, it just feels like my life has been going way to smooth, it is about time that he jumped in and ruined everything.
So I suspose that is what I am waiting for. And I know that it will happen at some point, when I dont know,. propably at my wedding he will show up and tell everyone that I am a horrible person!
Ugh! Why WHy now is he filling my head with these crazy thoughts! I try and tell myself that he has nothing to do with me finding some happiness, but I cant. The thought of him being some part of this gushes into my mind everytime I try and think it is finally something good for me now that i am happy.
I dont know if I just repeated my self there =, probably did! anyways
TTYL
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And then there was two
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November 11, 2008, 05:47:pm
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Chris and I talked last night for the first time since I told him that there needed to be some space. It started off bad... But turned out good.
When we talked on the phone he was really grouchy and stuff but I texted him later and told him that I didnt mean to make him upset. Then he said that it isnt always my fault, and I told him that it isnt always his fault either.
Anyways, I told him that when I come home I want to come home to him, and to our bed, meaning I want to live with him when I move back to red deer. And he said that I knew where he lived (somewhere that I cant) and I was like but I cant be there  and then he said that when I got back things where going to be good for me.
That brings up so many questions to me. Like how are things going to be good. Is he going to move somewhere where we can live together? Is he going to convince the landlord to let me move in?
I really dont know what he has planned but if he says that it is going to be good then I know that it will be. He is just like that.
Anywho.
Mood: Really tired
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November 07, 2008, 11:11:pm
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Blank...
I want to write.
I want to have a story to tell.
I want to explain my feelings, but right now nothing.. good comes to mind..
I talked to Chris today, he told me that he did want to talk to me anymore (as in tonight) because we didnt have anything to say. That it was the same thing over and over. That kinda makes me mad considering when we talk it is like the closest we get. I wont be home until Christmas and I am going to miss him alot. Especially if he decieds that he doesnt want to talk every night anymore. Even when we just talk for a few minutes it feels great. I love having that time with him. It makes me feel like even tho I am 15 hours away I am still loved and he still wants me. Hard to explain I guess. I am needy in a way I need to be reasured all the time of his love for me. I guess I should stop over reacting and just understand that he loves me and wants to be with me even tho sometimes we dont talk.
Well I love him, and never will that change.
Music: Baby crying
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This...
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November 07, 2008, 06:43:pm
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Sit
Wait
Think
Hurt
Cry
Wait
Wonder
Ponder
Remember
Regret
Cry
Emotions overwhelming.
I`ll wait for my love.
Mood: Meh.
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November 06, 2008, 05:22:pm
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Last night I told my boyfriend that I would be the best girlfriend he has ever had starting from that moment on. The only problem is I really dont know how to do that. I mean we have been together for almost two years so I have to be doing something right. But I know there is certain things that really dont impress him that I do. I really want him to know that I love him and would do anything for him. One day he will realize that I love him more than life in itself.
I have only been gone a weekish and I miss you already. I love you
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