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DevilsAdvocate's Journal
what's in my head
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A Stranger's Plea
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August 02, 2008, 03:22:am
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hey,
i'm sorry that i haven't been here much...
i've been going through some stuff, and well... lets just say that...
its something that my running won't cure anytime soon ^^
and i'm sorry that i've went from one of your friends... to what i was when i met you all...
a stranger...
anywayz;
to all of the Birthdays that i've missed... and ones that i might not be around to celebrate... i still want to wish you all a Happy Birthday... ^^
Although i guess it won't mean much coming from a stranger... *nervous laugh*
anywayz;
i know that a stranger can't ask for someone's friendship... or... trust... right away... and i'm not asking you to give me either... its not my place to ask for either... but what i will ask for... is your forgiveness... maybe i'm not worth forgiveness, but then again... only you all would know...
anywayz;
i guess this is "goodnight" all... hope you get a chance to see this... and hopefully... take the chance to read it too...
ps...
Miss Kilanna... i haven't forgotten my promise... i'm just sorry it took so long for me to start keeping it...
anywayz;
this stranger bids you all... goodnight...
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Hahaha... i need sleep lol
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April 24, 2008, 02:02:am
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Hey, well... its not much of a poem, but well... its what i wanted to say, so... enjoy ^__^
( Untitled )
" I love you "
That's the truest expression
Of how i feel about you,
And yet it seems too simple sometimes.
Every time I say it,
It never seems to be enough
To tell you of the many ways you touch my life.
But then i know that
No number of words,
No mater how beautiful,
Could ever really express
The depth of feeling in my heart.
And tryin to come up with better words
Would take so much time...
Time I'd rather spend...
Holding you in my arms,
Looking into your eyes,
And just whispering...
" I love you "
Mood: thinking again... i think.
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A Story I Wrote For CXC
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April 23, 2008, 02:01:am
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The night was as hot as hell, and I'm in a lousy room in a lousy part of town. Its my last day on the job. They call it " early retirement, " but ii call it " getting fired. " I'm still polishing my badge and getting used to the idea of saying goodbye to it; it and the twenty-odd years of protecting and serving the public. Then all of a sudden I get a phone call. It was Evelyn, my secretary; she informed me that someone was there to see me and had requested me by name. A few minutes later I cleared my head, got dressed and headed downtown. I was still a little hung-over from last night, so i took a cab.
When I finally got there, she sarcastically informed me that there was a woman waiting for me in my office. I don't know if it was just me, but she seemed a little jealous of the idea. And with that, I'm not even going to waste anytime on wondering how I got so lucky, so I headed straight for my office. When I opened the door; there she was, a pretty dame in a red dress. She played it cool and skipped the pleasentries. She then began telling me about her friend, who turns-out to be some millionare. She said that he had been missing for sometime and that she would do anything to find him again.
Meanwhile, I'm starring at a goddess. She was unlike any skirt I'd ever met. With an adorable face and a body that curved in all the right places. Yes, this was a woman who inspired a man's fantasies. Then she handed me a picture of him that the kidnappers had sent to the house. By the looks of it; he was in some barn but, I couldn't take that chance. And with that, I jumped on the case.
If you walk down the right alley in this town, you can find anything; for the right price. It was here I met a mysterious figure, he kept to the shadows so I couldn't see his face; all I could see were his legs. I asked him about Vicky's friend; but he claimed he knew nothing, so I threw-in a few twenty-dollar bills and he sang like a canary. He told me that they were holding him at some warehouse, so I headed in that direction.
Half-way to the warehouse, where he said they took him, it hit me; a bad case of indigestion, or atleast I pray it is- Why? Because there were two big bruisers right around the corner and I could tell that they weren't here sight seeing. I had to keep it quiet, so I looked around the slimey garbage filled alleyway and found a rust leadpipe sitting in what i hope was water. I then anxiously waited for thenm to turn away, and in that moment, I lunged at one of them and knocked him on the head; then I struck the other one in his face. When it was all over with they were unconcious. Sure it was messy, but it was quiet.
I then sneaked my way into the warehouse but it wasn't easy, there were guards everywhere. I managed to take-down enough guards so that I could get a good view at where they were keeping him. And just like that, a whopper of a puzzle piece falls smack into my lap. It turns-out that Vicky was in one the whole kidnapping and the only way to rule herself out as a suspect was to come to me. Looking back, I guess she did lay it on a bit thick. " That's just my luck. I was always a sucker for a pretty face and especially one with a figure as hers, " Iwhispered to myself.
A few minutes later, I felt the cold barrel of a gun pressed against my back, so I slowly turned around and I was shocked. It was Frank, one of my old friends from the acedemy. He then commanded me to take a deep breath and that I should settledown. Then he told me that I would stand to make a little money if i played ball. I then spat at his feet and sarcastically told him what a tough man he was and I asked him if he would rather shoot me in my back.
All he did was laugh, and in that instance, I took my chance. I lunged at him, knocking the gun out of his hand. We the tussled on the ground, each trying to get their fist in the others face. When we had gottn to our feet, we were both exhausted but still had much fight left in us. We then exchanged fists-to-cuffs until finally, I struck him down with one carefully placed punch.
Afew seconds later, the shrieking wind died down and the waves lay flat, all of a sudden I hear the echo of police sirens conveying to my location... so there was no longer no reason to play it quiet, but rather to play it my way; with a bang. I then whipped-out my pistol and thought to myself, " What a way to start my retirement. "
Mood: looking back... i think.
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Why..? Well...
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February 21, 2008, 11:45:pm
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Since I met you, I've fallen in love
With you at least a hundred times
For a hundred different different reasons.
Sometimes I fall in love with you...
When I watch you do something
You enjoy, something you're so
Involved in that you're unaware of my presence.
Sometimes I fall in love with you...
When i listen to you talk to other people.
Whether you're being interesting and funny,
Or warm and caring and genuinely concerned,
You have a way of making people feel better
With nothing more than just your words.
Sometimes I fall in love with you...
Just thinking about you, remembering
All the memories we've made...
Falling in love for the first time,
Staying in love during the rough times,
And finding more to love about you everyday.
And whenever I think about...
All the wonderful things
That lie ahead of us,
I fall totally and completely
In love with you all over again...
Mood: just thinking... i think.
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The Myth: Fake or Real
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January 07, 2008, 07:59:am
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It is said...
A gentleman should not
Lie, Cheat or Steal.
And some often wonder,
If he is fake or real?
A gentleman should not
Lie, this is the first rule of the above,
But if he must lie,
He must lie in the arms
Of the one he loves.
A gentleman should not
Cheat, even when he faces defeat.
But if must Cheat, to win-
It is death who should be
Kneeling at his feet.
A gentleman should not
Steal, no matter how much greed he may feel.
But if he must Steal,
He should steal the hearts
Of those who he appeals.
Today, he is only a myth
Held in vain;
For he is cast as a villain,
So others refrain,
I know this for I am him,
And until death calls my name,
A gentleman i do remain.
Mood: lonely, i think.
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Where Death was Kind
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December 14, 2007, 08:18:am
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Long had i thought
Of death
And then they told me
You were dead.
I had seen him
Sitting in the ante-room
Eager to be summoned,
So when i heard
You had received him
I was silent.
I went to see you
Lying in death's embrace.
I was afraid -
I thought the sight
Would tear my heart
To pieces,
And my anger would rise
Against death the intruder.
But when i looked
Into your lovely face
And saw the sweet peace
That his kiss
Had implanted,
I could not weep,
And i could not be angry.
Ah, sweet is death,
And kindly,
To those who suffer
Unbearable agony.
Mood: humbled, i think
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