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DeadByDay's Journal
An Account Of My Pathetic Excuse For A Life
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GCSE Answers
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August 20, 2008, 12:26:pm
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The following questions were set in last year's GCSE examination in Swindon , Wiltshire. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q.. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow
Q. How are the main parts of the body categorised (eg the abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O and U
Q. What is the fibula
A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean
A. Nearby
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure
A. A Roman Emperor
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
Q. What is a turbine
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
Mood: Giggly
Music: The Bella Cullen Project
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VF Marriage
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August 04, 2008, 01:06:pm
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I don't normally post this sorta rubbish but I'm really bored 
This is called Vampirefreaks Marriage!!!!!
The first person to message you saying "I do".
Will be your Vampirefreaks Husband/Wife.
Now, this is just for fun.
You'd be suprised who wants to be yours.
So do you wanna marry me???
Mood: Bored
Music: Aiden - One Love
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Kittens
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July 08, 2008, 03:22:pm
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My cat had kittens!
She had them yesterday so these are photos from them being 2 days old 
Scroll over the pics for captionss
Aren't they the most gorgeous things you've ever seen?
Mood: Happy
Music: None
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Birthday
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June 27, 2008, 11:35:am
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OK
Today is my birthday
School sucked but people generally kept me happy
I loooooove my cards (thanks to those of you that gave them to me)
Anyway, Byee
Mood: Chilled and Laughable
Music: Zero to Hero - Disney
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My Birthday...
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June 22, 2008, 02:31:pm
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...is on 27th June and I am counting down the days cos I'm getting my corset XD
Eeeek!
I'm feeling kind of hyper and stuff now cos I've talked to some people and they've made me feel better.
They always do !
Anyways, for my birthday I'm having some people over and we're just gonna sit in the garden and sunbathe.
Although...
I need a new bikini to do that cos all of mine are too small and my boobs will fall out.
Anyone know a good shop that sells decent bikinis?
I'm going to get some pics on my birthday thing and of my new corset.
Eeeek!
Anyways, help me on the bikini problem. Or just comment anyway.
I like comments 
Mood: Relaxed and Happy!
Music: Not Now - Blink 182
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