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CuriousCloud's Journal
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Eh
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November 28, 2008, 07:19:pm
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Alright, so now that I noticed that the journal thing has once again come alive, I thought, 'When was the last time I ever wrote a blog...?'
So here it is. I sit and listen music sounds that clash in sound and time period, but I still sit and listen to my own little mix of great music.
I have a lot of food in me right now, I kind of ate everything that I ordered and now a smoke seems to be in order, but I really don't want to go out into that blistering cold (just an exaggeration, I'm not a wimp  ) and spark a smoke.
I'd rather go out to get high, but that's my opinion, so please, don't go all anti-drug on me.
I got to talk to a really cute boy the other day. I know that sounds like a grade school girl's diary entry but like, I'm serious. He was cool and he basically told me that I smoke too much  ! He's a really cool guy. I met him like a month or two ago, but I rarely see him, and when I do it's like we barely talk. I rarely talk unless I'm like, one on one with someone. If not, then I'm really quiet and awkward. So I got to be a basic idiot with him. I talked to him, and told him a stupid story about myself, might have been two, but no.
Anywho, I suppose I'd better go. Bye!
Mood: Stoned
Music: Smile in your sleep Remix — Silverstein
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[•]
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November 24, 2008, 05:58:pm
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... That is all.
Mood: Stoned
Music: This is Halloween - Marilyn Manson
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But Why!!!!
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November 17, 2008, 01:36:am
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Tonight, I had the pleasant surprise of being the listener of a friend's problems. I never did mind listening to people's problems, I just can't think of a response to make them feel better, so I just keep on listening; either reflecting on their words, or relating to their issues.
This one friend, in particular, has been a friend of mine since about two weeks after I arrived at college — and it pleases me to know he trusts me enough to tell me these things — and we hung out after he vented out to me a bit.
He ordered us some pizza, and we watched Family Guy. It's usually what we do, when we're sober, drunk, or high, is to sit and watch some Simpsons, Family Guy, or Futurama.
A few episodes, some pizza, chicken bites, and tea, and we were both set for a good night's sleep.
Outside for a smoke, and we wandered around campus, talking and arguing (in the non-serious type of way) about whether or not it snowed, and…
I began to act like… I don't know. I felt like I was playing dumb, needing high maintenance and all that, and then it hit me that I was basically flirting with him.
He got the thought of that too, and warned me about it. I automatically slipped out of that mind set and things went back to normal between us.
The thing is, he's just a friend, and I didn't realize that I was doing what I was doing. I want to keep him as a friend, because he's cool and funny and just... him. Alright, so he gets to his cute acting stage and I can't help it, but yeah, he's not what I want. Not that he's a bad guy, he's just not for me.
I don't know what I want... I suppose that's why I'd prefer to be single rather than dating one person after another. I'm not gonna jump into a one-night stand either. My friends say I need to get laid, but it's not that, I'm just tired of feeling like I need to be with somebody when I know that I can take care of myself... It feels like a need rather than want.
I want to be with someone, but deep down, I need to be with someone. I'm just scared that this need will stick me with the wrong person...
Mood: confused
Music: Something to Believe In - The Offspring
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took a quiz...
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October 23, 2008, 11:16:am
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 | My sphere is Knight (Know Loyalty and Respect), and my class is Rogue (Precise and Unhindered). I am a Henchman. You know the value of respect, in every glorious, practical, and humble sense of the word. You know whom you respect. You know what it means to defend and uphold respect. Although the boss can and will call on anyone to get a job done, the boss knows he can call on you when there's a delicate situation, or when someone needs to get their hands dirty. You hold a special place in their heart for your willingness in this regard, as well as a special place in the toes of the people you might step on in securing the respect your boss deserves. What kind of Warrior are you? |
Mood: Lazy
Music: N/A
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Updation to what?
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October 22, 2008, 08:32:pm
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I've been in school for almost two months now. I'm a quarter way through, and I've adjusted to my surroundings and the people that I come into contact with. I've made friends and enemies. found what I was infatuation, but dug out my insecurities in the process of wondering if I did want that person.
I don't think I've ever had to deal with so much stress; there isn't anyone here to take my hand and shove everyone out of the way for me. I have to do things on my own, and it's a little hectic. I'm growing up a bit more here. At home, I learned how to keep a good household and I learned some things about myself. Most of all, I had learned the value of friendships and family bonds.
Here, I am learning more about myself, finding out things that I need to do, the things I want do to, and the things that I cannot be bothered to deal with. I'm advocating more for what I want, and I'm beginning to show some backbone in certain situations. I'm more open to discussions, even when everyone in the group is hardheaded.
How do I feel about this? Well, it completely fucked up my way of thinking, I can't foresee and predict what will happen throughout the day, because my mind is everywhere. It goes from what I need to buy, what I need to do, and the people I have to talk to.
It's hard, I wasn't ready to be an adult even if I wanted to be. I'm working on that more now. Unlike how I was back home, I feel motivation here. This isn't leading to a dead end.
Mood: Thoughtful
Music: Shake it - Metro Station
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