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Its Christmas.... fuck
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December 22, 2007, 09:05:pm
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I have no problem with this hoilday but ever scene my brother was killed almost 2 years ago, this time of the season just isnt all that great anymore. I am only writing this becuase my doctor says writing something that piss' you off will relieve stress. Im starting to belive but stil it hurts without my brother. He was only 20 when he was killed and it sucks cuz I dont want to out live him.. I know I sound emo now but fuck it I dont care. I miss him man. he was hit by a car.. I mean he was only 20 how would you like to have someone that close to you die at such a young age. He quit smoking weed to turn his life aound and he was killed. I hate the basturd that killed him cuz they didnt even stop.. How do you not know you hit a person going 80? FUCK YOU.... I want to do so much to that person that if I was to say anything I would need a lawyer. Huh. Im the youngest out of 3 boys and my older brothers tough me so much more then anyone else in this world. I lost my middle brother the one that was forced to stay at home and babysit me. I got to know him so well and he ran away at the age of 16.. I moved to Va. with my parents cuz we are military and I didnt see him until the day of his funeral that was a little more then 4 years later. It hurts that I didnt get to spend time with him before he was killed and I take part of that blame but I just cant stop hating life. I mean I never cared abot what may happen or anything but once I found out that life can stop so abruptly I am scared to do much of anything now. Im amazed I can wipe my own ass without being fearful that I may die. Its funny cuz alot of ppl get suicidal after a major death like that but I was the opposite. Like all my life I have been the opposite then anyone else. I learned it all from my brother Kyle. I love him so much and I want to go to Ireland when I turn 18 so I can go and party for my brother. I am Irish and I alway wanted to go there same with my brother but he never got the chance. So I guess the only thing I can do is do what I think he would do over there. Anyone that reads this. I jsut want you to know that if you met my brother you would fall in love with him in some odd way. I miss you Bro. I hope to see you once I die. Where you are....
Mood: Morbidly Depressed
Music: Umm. I have it on shuffle but its Razed in Black atm
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What faith am I?
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December 17, 2007, 12:17:am
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I dont understand it. When I tell someone that Im not Christan they flip out on me. I mean why does America freak out if you are something other then Baptist or what not. I mean isnt this country based on our rights and how we should express them the way we want. I mean why do people look down on me when I tell them that if I was to be one type of faith it would be Satanic? I mean it doesnt even have to do with woreshipping satan. I mean all you do really is live your life the way that you want to. Okay in America we have rights. and those rights are great to use but why is it that when we use them people get scared and ask us why we did that? I mean fuck I have rights... Im not going to just let them go to waste fuck that Imma use them to there fullest extent. So why should people get pissed or even shun me for being a religion that they are not or one that is out of the norm? I mean fuck why does that make me a freak? What if there is no christ and some screwed up guy made all that shit up?( No offence to christans) but still why should they judge me for being myself? Isnt that aganest the bible anyways. Dont judge unless you want to be judged upon. Okay look at it this way for those of you who are reading this and are starting to hate me. I have made the choice to be what I am. Let me deal with the punishment if there is any. I mean it wont effect you in any way and you should just go on with your lives as if I never was born. No joke people I love America and all but I hate some of the people in it. Sorry but FUCK!!!!
Mood: Pissed
Music: That one song
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