I FOUND IT! motivation! -finishes one page- okay... now im out of ideas.
anyway! ive been writing this short film for almost a year now, just never have any motivation to do it, but today for the first time in a long time, i wrote a page! which... im on page 3 scene 4, we are have way done! i think :/ i think my story is a really good idea. should i post my script on here when im done? Mood: motivated Music: bayside - on love on life
Going shopping soon, going to Giant Tiger to get a new nice outfit for my training on sunday. they always have nice stuff for cheap. im going to be a sample lady at metro. i wonder what sample ladies wear?
going to pick up my new bus pass too >_> going to take a ride to see how long it will take me to get there. i dont want to be late!
i sure hope they like me and i can keep this job! being a sample lady seems like it would be fun.
gotta keep my mind and body busy. i don't have time to get depressed. sure wish i could wipe him from my emotions and move on. SIGH. life is hard.
okay so a few days ago was my birthday, so my mom and her friends were going to Windsor,ON,CA to drink and gamble, and my mom was going to see her first ex boyfriends' band, which she hasn't seen him in 15 years. she invited me along for my "birthday celebration" so i went. we got there, had a few drinks and Andre (my moms ex) was just finishing up his first set, so he came over to see us. my mom introduced him to me, and i don't know why... but i instantly felt a connection with him. him, my mom and i went outside to get some fresh air and talk, he kept on saying "I was 6 weeks away to becoming your father, you could have been my child." and there were a few other things said but it was just Andre and my mom Catching up.
he walked away to go socialize somewhere else... so half an hour went by, and my mom wanted to talk to Andre alone, i heard later on that Andre was upset because my mom promised to give me his middle name when i was born as my middle name, but that never happened. i'm sure there was a lot more talked about than just that, which my mom has probably kept to herself. but she said that she talked to Andre and he was going to say happy birthday to me.
when he got back onstage he said "this next song goes out to my daughter, happy birthday Bailey" and he started playing sweet child of mine. i started to cry... I dont know why, this was the first time meeting him but i feel so close to him. And i don't understand it.
Anyway, the night went on, we talked more... he invited me up on stage to dance with him. Twice. And when he was done i ran to find him (alone) and gave him a long hug. i dont know why... i just felt this strong bond with him. He said to me softly.
"I'm on facebook sweetie" and walked away.
After we left... I couldn't stop thinking about him, my heart hurt and i just felt like there was this empty void in my stomach that never used to be there... not until i met him, and it seemed to be only filled when I was talking to him or watching him on stage.
Please... someone help me. Why am I feeling this way? I've never met this man before in my life, this is the first time yet I feel so connected with him and it doesn't make sense. if you have any advice for me it would be muchly appreciated.
Mood: confused and sad Music: the sound of trucks beeping backward.
