So im pretty suret hat ive been almost completely inactive save for a few messages here and there for going on almost a year now. for those of you who care and that i haven't actually seen or talked to, here's what's been up.
i got dumped for playing too much skyrim and then cheated on by the guy after him. started dating an army boy and that's been on and off ever since july. im currently single and not really looking. the relationship thing seems to just not be my thing atm. i turned 18 in october and got my senior pics done. tried to kill myself by cutting several weeks later which landed me a nice spot in the psych ward for a good bit. now i have a wicked scar on my left forearm. i dyed my hair blue which i got some pics of up from my ipod and my new phone. got kicked off of colorguard after winning my 4th metal in it because i couldnt spin with staples in my arm. my psycologist decided i was a helpless case and gave up on me. i started drugs again and now i am currently dying my hair magenta one hell of a year...oh and instead of doing to homeowrk that i'm supposed to be right now im typing you all this
missed you ALL!! leave me shit Mood: giddy! Music: They're taking the hobbit to isengaurd!
So it took me about a month and 2 more asshole guy, but i've finally come to the conclusion that im cursed to either be alone or jst have shitty relationships. in a year every guy ive dated save for one has cheated on me, and the one that didnt cheat stood there, watched me try to kill myself and then left me when i was admittd to the pysc ward. any, and eveery time ive been engaged said fiance had cheated. i guess i'm just not pretty enough for anyone anymore huh? :/ oh well...
just ranting to nothing atm guys, sorry Mood: depressed Music: downfall of us all
Marching band...well colorguard will slowly be the death of me. 4 hours, early-morn practices aren't conducive for my health. On top of working out so hard for a "warm up" that my body just goes "NOPE! not functioning anymore!!" and decides to either completely give out or just make me vomit everywhere before actual rehearsal starts. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that it made me incapable of using my left leg for a week and how many times have i gotten a concussion and fractured something with my rifle or my flag pole? At least in a week and a half school starts again so i don have to do this shit for quite as long everyday...just durin school..and then after about every other day and ever single weekend. Remind me again why i signed up to completely forfeit my life to my instructor for half of the year for 4 years now? Oh yeah, because of that overwhelming feeling of...well...pride when you walk off the field after an amazing show an when they call your name for finals...idk if the pain im puttin myself through is worth it anymore :/ guess ill find out if it is in a month when we go to our first competition in Pittsburgh...till then..well November i gues i'll just suck it up and pull through. not like i have much of a choice now since i did sign the commitment form signing the band my soul from season's beginning to end....As long as i don't end up killing myself between now and then 0.o Mood: blllaaaaaaaahhhh