Well, I clearly haven't been to VF in a while. I come over here to sign on and see what's been up and the whole front page is completely rearranged. It took me half a second to find where to even log in. It seems every time I amble back over here something looks different. Stop trying to be Facebook!
Happy News: ~Semester is almost over. Yay! ~I dug out all my Lolita clothes. ~My drugs be workin'! ~The weather is finally getting nicer.
Not-so-Happy News: ~I have bunion surgery on May 9th. ~I'm nearly failing two classes. ~I still really have no friends on campus.
Sorry guys, I've been a bit of a space cadet recently, but I just wanted to pop in here and let you all know that I'm still alive (mostly) and still dealing with a ton of personal shit and college crap so it might be a while longer before I feel up to doing all this internet business again.
I'm still posting on my blogs from time to time though, so you can always look for me over there...
Well it's 9 pm and my next semester of classes start tomorrow. I'm not really nervous about new classes or anything. Rather, I just want things to get going and fall back into a routine. I spent the weekend here on campus to get prepared and now that I don't have a roommate, it's a lot lonelier in here.
I tried to make my room feel a bit spiffier. I set up my books and stuff. I brought my awesome bat pillow from home. I put up a calendar and my class schedule...next weekend I'm going to bring some wall art. So it looks nicer and the atmosphere is a bit warmer, but I'm still lonely in here.
Is it crazy that I almost hope I get a roommate?
I know it's a new year and I have a fresh start and I made all these resolutions to be healthier and more spiritual and happy and all that jazz, but I'm just so exhausted. I feel exhausted all the time. Mentally exhausted. I could sleep for a week and do absolutely nothing and when it comes time to get my game on again I'm already tired out. I can't seem to catch up. Nothing seems to help.
I don't have an interest in anything I cared about before. I used to love writing, now I can't even bring myself sit down and churn out a paragraph of fiction. I used to enjoy watching the news in the morning, now I just don't care about the weather and local goings-on. I used to love watching movies, now I don't want to watch anything anymore. I used to be....better. College has royally fucked me up and even though I seriously think about dropping out and giving up, I know that wouldn't do anything for me.
So I'm gonna trudge my way through it and hopefully things get better eventually.
The only one I can really think of that's held up all these years is putting up the tree and decorating it right after Thanksgiving. It's always been done that way and we'll probably always do it that way.
