"It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it."
I'm back.
May 21, 2012, 11:56:am
A fuckton of shit has happened but I'll stick to the basic.
1. I suck at college. Figured I would. I didn't expect to be so popular though. It's kind of nice to not be overlooked like I usually was in high school. Nice to have friends that miss me when I'm not there. That fucking text me and tell me how much they miss me.
2. My art is getting a fuckton better. GO COLLEGE ART CLASSES!
3. My hair is my natural hair color for the first time since middle school.
4. Arizona was fucking amazing and I'm hoping to go back at the end of summer.
5. I'm seeing a therapist about my problems. If you know me, you know what they are. Things haven't gotten any better.
6. I started gauging/stretching my ears. (Call it whatever the fuck you want.) I'm at 8's at the moment and I think I'll stick with this size for a little while. I may go bigger later on.
7. I'm a lesbian. I've come to terms with it and I'm not denying it anymore. Most of my friends that I've told so far had apparently figured it out already. :/ I still haven't told anyone in my family really, except for a couple cousins. I'm still not ready to come out to everyone. I know for sure my mom will be just fine with it but I'm just not ready to tell her yet. Oh, and if you're hearing this for the first time here, then surprise?! IDEK! XD
8. Tumblr is a fucking addictive website. XD
That's pretty much it. Not like any one ever really reads this shit but leave a comment if you want to know more.
Let's see, I've completed my first semester of college, been to Arizona and back, and dyed my hair a variety of colors since I lost logged on here. Not sure if I'll stay here much longer. If you need me, or want to beg me to come back, contact me via facebook.
What does it feel like to have a crush on a girl? Is it just like if you have a crush on a guy or is it different? All I know is that I've never had this kind of connection with someone within the first few days of meeting them. We had an inside joke within the first 5 minutes of meeting. She knows who Emilie Autumn is. She's good at art and has awesome tattoos. We have art classes together and she wants to try to schedule our art classes to be the same from now on.
I'll probably never speak up about these feelings to her. It's just confusing because I've never had this quick of a connection with anyone before. Also, I'm pretty sure she's straight.
1. Why is it that the only person who notices when I'm out of it is my ex? 2. I'm starting to think a different ex of mine's only standard is that the woman must be fat. Some of the girls he goes after are so ugly they make me feel uglier. 3. I'm better than her, and I am not the only person who thinks it. 4. I'm not sure if I'm even attracted to men anymore. I mean, I think they're cute sometimes but...they disgust me most of the time. I don't know. Just something I have to figure out I guess. 5. Lesbians aren't attracted to to fat women. (tested and proven) 6. Thanks to medicaid, since I'm seeing a regular adult doctor now I must see a psychiatrist monthly, or more, in order to keep getting my meds. I'm terrified they'll take me off them or find something else mentally wrong with me. 7. I kind of just want someone to be an awesome friend and be there for me when I need them. I'm tired of always being the shoulder to cry on but when it comes to me crying there's not a shoulder in sight. 8. No one's going to read this, and if they do they won't get this far before going onto something else.
