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OmniReaper's Journal

They call me a monster.

I don't know anymore.

June 10, 2012, 06:17:am

It's hard to say that I'm on a straight line,
I try to see and believe when I say I'm fine.
... but my words are the coming of an incline.
An uphill struggle for me is called a lifetime.

All as it may be, the pain and all the misery.
The best I can do is know nobody is listening.
Yesterday the same as tomarrow, in my history.
... and right now it's just so hard to breathe.
Mood: Sad, stuck.
Music: Demon Hunter - I am a stone

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I pray for death.

May 23, 2012, 01:58:am

People say, "everything is gonna be ok." What I've come to hear in that is, "nobody cares that you hurt."

As if I need to describe what a panic attack is on vampire freaks, but... none the less.
Picture yourself trapped, held down and suffocated, as you scream without a sound.

I sense no end soon. The only end I foresee is my own. The only end that of the rope I hang by. I keep asking myself, "why?" Why did you fuck up your life? Why does it hurt so bad? Why are you asking yourself why, as if you'll have the answers to the questions you yourself seek. Funny thing, I know I do. I just hide them away, because I never wanna know the truth. These lies have become a home, and it's really all I know.

A little bird once told me, "I love you." That, too, was a lie.
The same bird used to say, "everything is gonna be ok."
As it echoes back to me now, all I hear her saying is...
"nobody cares that you hurt."

I can't bare much more pain. I can't handle living in a house not my own, or of a peer.
If I get angry, I have to bottle it inside. Which corrodes my heart, my mind, my soul.

What's worse, is everything. EVERYTHING. I never saw myself where I am.
8 years looking back, I thought myself more of a man to be such a nobody now.

What do you do, when it all falls down on you? ... and have to get back up alone.
How do you react, when you're about to snap, and everybody is aware? They just don't care.
Do you run, and hide? Or try suicide.

>>	3 comments

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