My name is Ashley. I'm pretty sick of people writing about how unique and unlike anyone else they are in their profile, so I'm not going to base my profile on trying to fit that cliché of nonconformist. I'm simple going to tell you the facts because basically it doesn't matter if I’m "unique" or "different", we all are and we all aren't at the same time, what matters is what I'm all about, that's really what is going to make you want to keep coming back for more...or not. So basically I'm a vegetarian, I was vegan for three years and it's something I feel extremely passionate about. My main hobbies are surrounding myself with animals and cuddling with my boyfriend Jesse when he's not 1000 miles away like he is right now. Sometimes I enjoy art, and sometimes I enjoy writing, most of the time it just frustrates me though, I'm a major perfectionist, nothing is ever good enough for me and sadly most of the time I'd rather not do it than do it and fail. Photography is my favorite art form; I take a few pictures a week that I really like. Sometimes I feel inferior, and sometimes I feel elite, to me there is no such thing as average or medium, those words are more like curses. All the beauty cults I've applied for have called me ugly, I don't know, I guess I’m just sort of bland and plain looking. I enjoy reading a lot when I'm in the right mood, I don't know why; it’s weird to think about why it is so entertaining. I mean it really has no purpose, it has a beginning and an end and then it's done (sort of like life, which I can also find no meaning to), sometimes I think I just read to gain the approval of others, just so maybe I will gain intelligence and have meaning in my life. I'm not very smart or cultured but I have this habit of writing like I'm trying to be, I really don't try to do this, it just comes out that way. My circadian rhythm means nothing to me, I go to an online charter school, and most days I don't know the day of the week, I usually don't know the time either. [EDIT: I always know the date, my boyfriend is coming from Louisiana to see me on July 17th and I am counting down the days]. I despise traditional schools they manipulate what the word learning really means so much, I love pure learning, it is another one of my passions, along with rock-climbing, canoeing and simply being in the wilderness. Sometimes I don't brush my hair for days and I never shave unless it's a special occasion, I'm too lazy to wear makeup most days, plus it's way to expensive and I'm poor. Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth, and when I go on wilderness trips I don't shower for weeks. I'm not gross and I'm not a hippie, or maybe I'm both, I don't give a shit, it doesn't matter what you label it if you’re going to hate me for it you are and if you’re going to love me for it you are. I like body modifications of all kind. I pierce myself and other people and I hope to work professionally someday. I use self harm as a coping mechanism, [EDIT: Quit Self Mutilation. Clean since 05/08/08] I like progressing my pain tolerance. I do wish that the emotions that make me feel like I HAVE to do it would go away, such as rage and emptiness. Before I wrote this my profile was all about how depressed I was, I changed it because I am trying to release myself from that identity, I think that is the first step in recovery. I have thought as depression as a main component in my personality for so long, it covered up everything else. Now I am trying to see what I am underneath and it is frightening how bare I feel. I really have no social life because I am so shy. My only friend is my boyfriend, and I love him with all my heart, he never gave up on me through all myself hatred, delusions and shyness. He is in Louisiana right now while I am in Minnesota until I turn eighteen on July 17th. No we didn’t meet online, I think those types of relationships are creepy, we met in a treatment center and he just moved about 4 months ago (Nine months into our relationship, now we have been together a year!). Anyways I have written too much. I always do, and it seems unfinished but I will stop now, and I'm not being "emo" when I say nobody probably really cares much anyway. I know I don't really care much when I read yours, but that's just me.