Nov 11, 2017, 05:30pm
getting over old bullies
forum Advice
So I was bullied alot when I was younger to the point I tried to kill myself twice now am 23 and haven't spoken to the bullies for years but I am still affected by there cruelty almost every fay and have several mental disorders because of them and when I look them up on social media and see how normal and happy there lifes turned out it makes ne angry how is it because of there actions my life is the only one affected I dont know how to just let go I know I need to grow up and just let go but its not that easy any advice?
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Apr 11, 2018, 07:03am

I have tons to say on this subject, hopefully some of it will help you. (I went through the same thing).

One thing that bothers me is the word "bullying" because all kids go through "bullying" (there's that one guy who messes with everybody) but how many people grew up being OTHERED, shunned, ostracized, etc.? There's a difference between the routine "bullying" that all kids go through versus the torment that only you, me, and a few other kids ever had to face.

When you tell people you've been "bullied", they probably picture the routine bullying that all kids go through rather than the torment you suffered.

Then, what also makes your position so upsetting, is the fact that people believe in the "just world theory". Everyone will tell you that the good guy wins in the end, or things like "Bullies don't know how to fight" (So I must REALLY be a wimp since they fight better than me!) (In reality most "bullies" know how to fight a hell of a lot better than your average accountant. Consider that "bullies" enjoy fighting and do so frequently).

It makes you feel like you must be the bad guy when you lose that fight.

Noone wants to just admit that sometimes, the bad guy wins the fight. Even in like the movie Friday when he won that fight against Debo, you know irl Debo wins 80% of the time, right?

But noone wants to admit that.

Sorry to compare your life traumas to a mid-low tier 90s comedy movie. I know that's a horrible example but its the only one I could come up with.

My point in typing this is it helps to be acknowledged so that THEN you can move on.
Edited by Cleveland_1988 on Apr 11, 2018, 02:47pm
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Posts: 57
Apr 11, 2018, 08:48am

Speaking to a professional sounds like a really good option for you. It can be really helpful and cathartic to talk about it to someone uninvolved and have them guide the conversation to get to the root of the problem. If you do end up reaching out to them, I would let your therapist know first and do it as part of your therapy. They can help you construct a message that doesn't read as trying to stir up old shit and having someone with you when you get the response can help you have less of a combative, reactionary reply.
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The answer to questions nobody asked
Do not listen to my advice
Apr 12, 2018, 03:07pm

It's nice to be bullied so long as mama's spirit gets mastered reasonably through real manhood in depp love with a woman, and never assume idolized pride as assholes do, because that's what you're really left with in the long run in the first cause sex experiences , yes, an assholized soul all for yourself despite of all power duging settings; Why then? Bully back hard - this is the big solver!
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The answer to questions nobody asked
Do not listen to my advice
Apr 14, 2018, 06:54pm

This thing about the bully is the manner you can handle it, the joke may likely be on the first active bully.
So how do you get the training about bully powers?
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Aug 19, 2018, 07:28pm

Block them ? Then you won't be able to look at their Facebooks.
Focus on your life and your accomplishments, not their bs.
I know it's not that easy but-
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Aug 29, 2018, 05:40am

Bullies are a dime a dozen now I'm way strong and look freaky
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Sep 17, 2018, 11:47am

I would talk to a Therapist about it but this is one thing you have to remember. The bullies that have affected your life and made it a living hell, they are slowly suffering because underneath those those happy pictures, there is some form of misery they is affecting them which is a karma brought by what they had done to you.

The best thing that you can do for yourself is try to move on from this horrible experience and talk to someone about how you feel. In the long run, the bullies that tortmented you in school will suffer dearly for this terrible deed, even if they live in denial that they are happy in those photos.
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Posts: 373
Sep 17, 2018, 02:32pm

My advice is this: You cant really control what happens to other people, but you can control how you want to live your own life and how much power you want them to have over you for the rest of your life. Councelling seems like a good idea, and reaching out to someone that can understand what you are going through.
Edited by Norwegian on Sep 17, 2018, 02:39pm
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