I live at home with my parents and currently, my sister and my twenty one month old niece are staying with us as my sister has seperated from her husband.
My sister is't very strict and my niece is starting to get out of hand, she is often agressive towards me, my parents and even our pets.
Mostly my sister just dismisses this, she either totally ignores it, issues a half hearted "no" or tells me "she's only a baby she doesn't mean it". I'm worried that if someone doesn't start to discipline her properly that she really will get out of control.
My parent's have no issue with disciplining her (it's usually a very firm "NO", bit if she is very naughty she gets a tap on the hand) but I'm nervous to even tell her no in case my sister loses it with me (she has previously).
Can I discipline my niece? Or is it not my place?
You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough.
Lyss [forum info]
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Bad Wolf
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Depends on a lot of things. How old is your niece first of all? I have a 5 year old nephew and do discipline him when he misbehaves around me, but I'm closer to being his parent than his aunt. And his mother is perfectly fine with me doing it.
I'd just ask your sister point blank. "Would you be offended if I helped discipline your daughter? I know you have a lot going on so I figured you might appreciate the help." If she agrees, ask her to give you a set of rules she wants followed. And stick to those.
That being said, if your niece is putting herself in danger step in immediately.
She'll be two at the end of August.
I don't know how advanced a child that age is in terms of cognitive function, but sometimes it seems as if she does things she "knows" are wrong deliberately to provoke us into a reaction. Those are the times I really feel like I want to step in.
Whenever I have told her off when my sister has been there, my sister reacts quite negatively.
You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough.
Lyss [forum info]
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All hail Queen Lyss
First VF staff member to be paid actual money.
Bad Wolf
Posts: 27476
My daughter turns 2 next month and I can tell you that at that age, they are looking for a reaction most of the time. Some of it might be pure toddler-isms, like wanting to play with the animals and from our view they are being rough, when they are just trying to play. Like Lyss said, step in if she's in danger, but definitely bring it up with your sister. Another thing you have to remember is that she really is, just a kid. A lot of toddlers react off of how you are acting. So if you yell at her, she's more likely to throw a fit. Talk to her calmly and explain why she can't do something. EX-"no, we don't throw our car because it can hurt someone" or "you need to be gentle with the kitty" Stuff like that. Try to have a family talk about it too, especially if your sister keeps avoiding it, but at least get your worries/questions out there.
Funny tidbit, while typing this I had to go chase after my toddler and have a chat LOL.
I honestly hate this, too. My boyfriend's brother has a daughter. He's 18, like myself, and only cares about video games. The only time he steps in is when she's crying or disrupting his games. I feel that if I don't tell her not to do things, she won't stop. She constantly has to be observed because she gets into things when she's alone. She picks my cat up, too, and at a year and a half, that's a big no. I will not let her abuse my cat, either. I feel when she's here, I have to be the parent because everyone else in the house lets her run things. I hate it.
I don't want to say that I'm not a kid person, but I hate other people's kids, in a sense. I don't like the fact that they raised them because most of the time, I have a huge problem with it. Not saying I would be the perfect parent, just some things I would be better about than others.
