We are in a day in age, where everything is highly safety oriented. From cars, to labels on heated foods, and so on.
Some would say, this has softened our stance on parenting (with regards to older generations, who would spank, or in other means physically discipline and hit a child).
With tons of medical research going into this, some would see where the damage could occur (on a developmental level, as the physical damage is clear), but others swear by the benefits to an extent. Some say as long as long as the parent does not strike the child, it is okay.
How do you feel about physically disciplining a child?
Where do you draw the line (if you believe in it), as to when it would be considered abuse?
It even feels weird for me calling it abuse, even though I just did. It still doesn't feel like abuse to me.
I used to just call it getting whooped, and would go on with my business and not bat an eyelid.
I guess its a cultural thing. Around my circle of friends of the same culture I grew up in, we could basically talk about our childhood whoopings casually.
That said I wouldn't ever hit a kid, as I'm a strong advocate of tough love.
It isn't my first form of discipline, but it is in my tool belt.
I'm a firm believer in positive & negative reinforcement to achieve the desired results. We reward our children for good behavior, and we punish them for the things we wish to eliminate from their behavior.
As an example, our 5 year old potty trained by getting candy every time he recognized he need to use the bathroom & went on the potty. We would also take away toys (or TV, or whatever he was doing at the time) if it distracted him & he went in his underwear. We would return them the next time he went in the potty, however. This also did not apply if he woke up having peed himself.
If calmly telling our children does not stop them from doing what they shouldn't be (i.e. running in the house), I will usually raise my voice a bit. The third time, it gets a little louder. After that, they get popped/spanked/etc.
I think it basically just boils down on your child respecting you, really.
Yes kids will be kids, but even so, if the child respects you, the levels at which they are disrespectful towards you, will be minimized.
I can count on my hands, where I ever had to raise my voice on a kid.
I do agree children are a lot smarter than people give them credit for, and can reason (of course, as long as you take it down a notch to their level) quite effectively in many situations.
They may not cognitively understand in full, but get it.
Well, to me there's a fine line between hitting/disciplining, and outright abusing your kids.
Swatting a child upside the head for them dropping the F bomb at you, is acceptable to me. To me, if you talk it out, and they're still that disrespectful, they need to be regulated somehow.
But clothes lining them, and kidney punching them, for not doing the dishes, is where you cross the line, and would likely damage them for life.
I got spanked when I was younger. It sure taught me to avoid things that would get me in trouble. So therefore I rarely got a spaken. I haven't been spanked since I was 12 or 13. I don't agree with that method but it sure keeps kids in line. I think you should use other ways of discipline than physical. Like being grounded usually does the trick.
i dont think that physically disciplining your child is wrong unless its under control but then the child could go and say that he/she will they call/go to the cops and say you beat them.
If it's done when they're very young they'll soon learn to behave and then wont need the same level of discipline when they're old enough to make that kind of threat
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You're setting me free with one more kick in the teeth
No these a diffrenc between discipling a child to correct a bad /negative behavior and child abuse.
I wam the product of child abuse(physical/mental/emotional) form the time i was 4 to 14,the result is I am anti-social,do not trust people,hate most people older then I am (i'm 39),I dislike being around most people etc etc I could go on and on.
Now if my stepdad at the time had been kind and treated me like a human and disciplined me when I need it to correct bad behavior I would have turend out better then the above i mentioend ,but because he was a holy terror for so many years well what I have mentioned above is the result.
So yes there snothing wrong with phsyical disciline,it when you beat someone so bad witha belt at 14 that 25 years and 11 months later they still have welps on their back from it THAT is abuse!
Suffer?You have my word you won't suffer,because the dead don't suffer!
I don't believe one human being has the right to lay a hand on another human being (a child is still a human being) regardless of the reason(s). You know the saying "children don't come with instruction manuals" it is because each of them is unique and learns in different ways. Striking a child for whatever reason just teaches them that it is ok to hit someone if they think that person is misbehaving. However, this does not mean ALL children will interpret this is a pass to hurt someone, but you never know. Besides, I'm a firm believer that physical discipline is a barbaric way to resolve any situation. It is much easier and effective to use your words. But that is just my opinion.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it were not for us woman your peckers would rust.
Me and my sister got the spoon once each. After that, we knew what the spoon on the wall heater outside both of our rooms meant, and we shut up and did what we were told.
I've seen some horrific parenting, from doing Class A drugs around your kid (then getting paranoid the kid got into the shit they were doing the night before and freaking out), to full on abuse, and actual doping to shut a kid up.
The line between abuse and discipline isn't as fine and easy to cross as people seem to think. But. There also seems to be this issue of kids going "hit me, and I'll go to the cops on you" which I think is taking the whole "child protection" to far, because all it does is instill a notion of "make me take responsibility for my actions and I'll complain further up the employment chain", which is what I used to see in some teenagers at my old work.
Besides, I'm a firm believer that physical discipline is a barbaric way to resolve any situation.
I don't believe in hitting, but won't hesitate to pick a kid up, and bring them to their room and close the door. Sometimes, words aren't enough for some kids. I do agree, however, that hitting a kid won't teach them anything worth learning.
It however makes me cringe, when I see mothers in public, trying to verbally discipline their kids, that are clearly disrespecting them.
We've become so soft, that we have to ask a kid to behave nowadays, as opposed to telling them to.
I believe if more parents would 'spare the rod, spoil the child' these children of today wouldn't be in near as much trouble, and would learn some respect.
I guess it's me getting old, but I've seen a lot of kids nowadays, I'd love to smack upside the head.
I remember seeing this 4-5 year old boy, flipping his mother off, and then telling her off when she asked him to walk closer to him on the sidewalk. Her reaction? "Can you please stop? That's not nice".
Which just encouraged him to do it more.
Flash forward 12 years or so, and same kid hates his mother, because she won't buy him a car. Take it a step further, same kid quits his job after a month, because he won't get a raise.
I see the poorly disciplined kids of today, and I see the entitled generation of tomorrow.
NO WAY! Children need to be disciplined! I think a good swat on the ass or washing mouth out with soap goes a lot farther than saying "Please don't do that" like everybody tells you to today.
Society has made it unacceptable for people to discipline their children with anything other than words, otherwise youre "abusive". Whatever. That's why kids these days are fucking little brats.
I think in order to get your child to listen, not only do they need to understand what they are doing is wrong and why, but also to fear the consequences. And thats the key. Fear. Call me a bad parent but thats what I believe.
And going along with what Aphasia said, yes while its true they may forget by the afternoon (also speaking from experience) they will still remember what happened last time they did something.
I think kids are smart enough to learn from experience. First offense, tell them not to do that and why warn them of whatever consequence suits the action. After that, consequences. You shouldn't just go spanking your kids the first time they do something if they did not know it was wrong.
And once more agreeing and disagreeing with Aphasia, you can discipline your children in a way that doesn't lose their respect for you, but I think that a little spanking doesn't hurt at all. Especially if you give the appropriate amount of swats and do not do it out of anger but as a lesson. Speaking from experience, my dad was a big believer in physical discipline and even though he scared me, I still respected and loved him. AND I sure as shit never did what I did again!
How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spread his claws, and welcomes little fishes in with gently smiling jaws
i grew up being spanked and i span my children well more so my boyfriend spanks them i do sometimes but my daughter just thinks its a funny game with him i believe his voice just gets to her if i raise my voice she listens to though but it hurt my throat to be loud so needless to say my daughter walks all over me
"Hell no, beat the hell out of them! My gf's kids are 2 and 3. Timeouts don't work, telling them nicely doesn't work, so when those 2 options fail I whoop ass"
Didn't read any comments.
No child should be physically, mentally or verbally abused. Physical "Discipline" is abuse if you ask me.
How can you even ask that question?
I used to be physically spanked up until I was about 6 then Mum came up with a new punishment. She used to take away my favourite toy and tell me that she'd put it in the dustbin and that used to upset me more than if she'd physically punished me.
Probably why I'm so protective of my things now
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You're setting me free with one more kick in the teeth
But that is just my opinion.
