So this is a not-so-not-personal issue, and I just was wondering your thoughts:
If penetration was impossible and your partner did not enjoy anal or oral sex, but the relationship was very serious otherwise, what would YOU do? Not care about sex anymore? Get REALLY creative? Be a shallow dipface (yes, I totally just said dipface) and break up with them? Think some thoughts and park 'em in this thread;D
I think a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with out sex isn't really a relationship. Me, sex is important once the relationship reaches that level. If ur at the point sex is a need u both need and is not provided is it really a relationship or just a good friendship? Sex is important in a relationship and shows ur ready to give ur self to ur partner. It's passionate, loving, and a genuine pleasing act. If my who ever I'm going out with never wants to have sex I would probably break up with them cuz after an appropriate amount of time I would feel they're not fully committed to the relationship. But that's probably just me
Its advice in a sense of providing insight into a different way of thinking on the matter, to provide a wider spectrum, tunnel vision can`t see with a reduced outlook. You were adamant in you views on the subject, I sought to challenge it in order to propose further discussion. I went by some of the things you`ve said, personal things you`ve admitted in the past, in previous discussions, featured in other threads, I put two and two together, well informed educated guesses, or mere assumptions. And it did provoke further discussion.
"But that's probably just me "
No, not just you, a great deal of people wouldn`t have the patience to have the required level of realtionship stickability to perservere in the prospect of possibly never having sex with their significant other, or quite simply waiting for a frustratingly painfull ammount of time. I think thats normal for most people.
So in other words, trying to convert me, which as I told you is completely unwanted, and for you to do so requires you to assume a lot of things that you neither know about me, my life, and also that I would want to be different from that/like you.
Which is why I asked you to drop the proselytizing and just worry about your own life.
I have no desire to see things from your perspective, nor have I ever.
And if I *DID* wish to fuck around, I would be quite capable of accomplishing that all on my own.
Nope, you haven't triggered anything, you keep projecting your own insecurities on to my viewpoint and comments.
It is exactly what I've mentioned before, you're offering unwanted advice about how blah blah sex leads to deep relationships, fucking around/conquest blah blah and I just do not care to be like that.
I have the luxury of choice on that one, so I choose what makes me happier, I won't find myself/happiness inside some random women, nor do I wish to spend my time fucking anyone who will have me.
Fair enough to that. I will add something though, what you thought was me giving you specificly advice, is me generalising, most of that wasn`t aimed at you specificly unless directly mentioned.
Panocha Posse 4 life. Panocha Bandito. Love the camboyana puta. CHUPALO PUTA!!!!
So do you feel theres absolutely no benefical results that can come from sex for sex`s sake ? Do you rule out the possibility of different resolutions to one night encounters, in regards to other people ? Have you ever heard of people hooking up during a one night stand and having it end in a commited relationship before ?
Panocha Posse 4 life. Panocha Bandito. Love the camboyana puta. CHUPALO PUTA!!!!
"So do you feel theres absolutely no benefical results that can come from sex for sex`s sake ?"
Exactly, for me there would be no benefit in that, as should already be clear if you weren't trying to convince me otherwise.
"Do you rule out the possibility of different resolutions to one night encounters, in regards to other people ?"
I do not care what "other people" do, it is none of my concern and does not affect my life in any way.
But then I'm not trying to convert anyone to my way of thinking, unlike some "other people".
"Have you ever heard of people hooking up during a one night stand and having it end in a commited relationship before ? "
Completely irrelevant, as stated what I value in sex and relationships is different from what other people want/settle for, I never stated that anyone should follow my path, I stated what my path is.
Your line of reasoning in this post is no better than you've demonstrated previously as I am not trying to convert others to my way of thinking, suffice it to say I am inwardly motivated by my own ideals, etc. and could not give, pardon the pun, a flying fuck what other people do in most circumstances unless it intrudes on to my own world. Which is, thankfully, not very often.
You should likewise care less if other people do as you do and follow your own bliss regardless.
So theres nothing to further discuss as you are purely introverted in your opinions, not wishing to further the discussion in what you think on the matter when it involves people other than yourself.
Panocha Posse 4 life. Panocha Bandito. Love the camboyana puta. CHUPALO PUTA!!!!
Wasn't that obvious from the start when you first started commenting?
I did mention then I didn't have any desire to look at sex/relationships from your perspective, that you tried to continue to force it is not "discussion".
If my partner’s problem with sex was a mental issue, I would take care of my needs by myself and concentrate on trying to improve our communication and trust in each other, since in my limited experience, mental blocks on sexual behavior often concern the two.
If it was more of a physical problem, I would probably try to get creative and find ways to avoid frustration together.
I wouldn’t just end the relationship, unless my partner really took his/her issues out on me on long term and wouldn’t even attempt to overcome them or show any effort towards maintaining our relationship.
Although in real life serious relationships I find it really hard to judge when this line is crossed.
People keep saying that sex is essential for a romantic relationship.
In theory I recognize that it may be true in the sense that people need sex as a way of physical validation and acceptance from their partner (in addition to satisfying sexual needs).
But in all honesty I can’t really empathize with this since I’ve been so long in this place where sex with other people and lately also romantic relationships seem increasingly unattractive to me. The validation that I crave is more professional or intellectual, up to the point where I’m finding compliments on my appearance useless and annoying.
So, I guess for me a situation like in the original post would be more ideal than a problem.
We could spend all our time complimenting each other on our cleverness and then feel very superior together. Bliss.
EmptyWords and shitkicker are both taking a hiatus since they both seemingly failed to understand that by intervening in their argument, I was ending it
thats a good one. i love sex. my bf and i live together and have sex at least once a day. sometimes 3 times. it would be very hard. im sure if that was the case we would figure something out. i love him and wouldn't leave him because of that
I don't have much of a sex drive anymore. Most of it went away when I was twenty. So it's been a few years since I really wanted sex and the sex I have had during that time isn't anywhere near as fun as it used to be. So a relationship without sex doesn't bother me, (as long as it doesn't bother the other person) though I still demand a lot of physical touching with a partner...spooning, hugging, holding hands...etc.
I think having sex at least once every few months would help such a relationship. There's something about it that makes me feel connected to someone that can't really be replaced.
"Sometimes the heart cries in cascading sunsets and sometimes it cries under the darkness of the new moon....
but it always cries in the hearts of the beloved..."
I feel gettin to know someone and putting in the time is the lead up to ultimately having a sexual relationship, it's human nature. Also, sex is pretty important to maintain the relationship once you get there. However, if something were to suddenly happen it would be messed up to not try and work things out, there's always a solution, toys or what not. Ultimately, orgasmic pleasure must be met or the relation will fall apart on its own 9 out of ten times.
thats a good one. i love sex. my bf and i live together and have sex at least once a day. sometimes 3 times. it would be very hard. im sure if that was the case we would figure something out. i love him and wouldn't leave him because of that
