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cutme_watch_me_bleed
Status: It's 3:18, my mouth tastes like the corpse of every pregnant teen.
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Profile: Today, I stand here to watch You fall to your knees and until you do. Ill still be waiting. Who am I? The names Tric (Trish) or Pepper. Your choice. I'm 6,210 day's old. :) I can be quite random when in a great mood. I'm very creative. There's nothing artisically I can not do. I'm a very sweet, loving person, so don't fear to approach me. Because I'm nice don't underestimate me. No one's yet to win an argument with me. So be nice. I try to increase the peace 100 percent! Make love, not war! ? I'm not a fan of lust. I feel there's more to a person than physical features. I'm incredibly honest and I will not lie to anyone about anything, ever. I go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens. I'm just here to live the life I was given. I have very odd interest's. I don't like being left. I fear losing people when all I do is care with my whole being. So don't hurt me. I've literally been through it all. I'm deep, I can be real with anyone. I love to love and hate to hate. I say I don't care but I do. You'll never be able to see right through me. So now its up to you. Give me a chance, I'm taking mine with you. Promise me if I cave in, break or leave myself open I won't be making a mistake? Writing. I like to write. No, I love to write. It’s become such a passion for me. Without writing each day my life feels off track. It’s my personal reminder of how shifty life can be or even how lovely it is. Art. Alot of people think art is nothing but a waste of time, that it doesnt get many people far in the world. Well personally I'm tired of this argument and hearing those words slip through the worlds lips. Art is very much so a HUGE thing that will get anyone famous. Remember that, embrace it. Look around. What is it you see? A poster? A lamp? A Radio? A pile of trash? Now this doesnt sound like art, does it? Well it very much is. Still dont get it? Whats a poster? Someone created the graphics you see, the picture, the color, the shape, ect. What's a lamp? Possible a metal neck, or flexible neck with a bulb and cover, right? Think of the skill someone had to create that. Also the color or graphics on it. Whats a Radio? Are you catching on yet? Everything, I mean EVERYTHING is art. Dont believe me? Ask yourself some questions. My Dreams. Piano was my dream, still is. Unfortunately it’s the one dream that will never come true for me. I look at a piano and it helps me feel complete yet upset that I've become nothing but a failure of my own love. Cosmetology is my dream career now. I recently discovered my own talent's and realized how happy I was doing this. I changed schools many times in hopes to get into cosmetology classes and all were full, all 3 years. So I dropped out, finding school being completely pointless and to persue in this career. And I'm going to succeed 100%. I don't give up on things I want this bad. I’m a dreamer. I know what I want out of life and I’m going to get it. Simply because I’m fighting for it as each day passes. I’m a supporter. A supporter of Gays, Lesbians and Bisexuals. Love is love, why take that away from someone? You can bash them for what they are but deep down your just upset on how lonely you truly are. Your embarrassed that they can find love and your still sitting here finding ways to make life suck for them, just because it does for you. Friendship. Comes and goes. I know what both feel like. You will not hide me, if you care about me you’ll let me be seen regardless of your jealous acts. I’m tired of being pushed around and played with like some kind of toy. I’m making a stand now and taking back what’s mine, Life. Love. I share too much of it too easily. Love is something that gets tested everyday, its nothing but another feeling in the human body we just can’t control. I’m not in any rush for it and yes I do know what it’s like to have it and lose it. But rather my body can with hold that pain again, I don’t know. Don’t fear hurting me, I’m not that girl that screams, throws a fit, or threatens to take my life away for you. I accept any decision you make, Just have a good excuse to back you up. I’m a lot smarter than people give me credit for. Death. Another form of life. I’m not positive when it comes down to religion. Why do I need one anyway? To become nothing but a hypocrite in this bloody world of war? I've studied many on my own time and they're all quite interesting and inspiring. But rather I pick one, just one, shouldn't effect where I end up when I die. I believe in something but rather what it is doesn't matter. Life. I love to live it. I make mine as eventful as possible, always ready to try new things. Looking for something to do and a way to smile. I love how I can wake up the next day and think of all the funny shit that took place the night before. I enjoy putting smiles on people’s faces. Just knowing that I put that feeling in someone warms me. I feel as if I with hold some sort of power, the power of emotions is incredible. Change. Don’t try to change me, you’ll fail. Changing me is like teaching a book to read to you. I am who I want to be and I can say will complete honesty that I’m a better person now. Rather you agree or not, I couldn’t careless. I’m the only one who knows what I’ve been through, I’m the one with all the memories, and I’m the one who can read you like the open or closed book you are. I’m fine with who I am, don’t take that away from me or I’ll take what little respect you have for yourself away from you. Regret. Something I dont strongly believe in. Whats the point of regret when all it is is a memory of how you fucked up or how someone else fucked up. To me thats something Id always want to remember. Mistakes are to be made and I've made plenty, now all thats left is for me to look back and remember "Oh yeah. Remember what happened last time." Learn from yourself, You could be a great teacher. Influence. No one influences me. Im my own influence. I tell myself what to do and fallow only myself. I've come to find out that I have a big influence on many people. Speaking to me will change you into something you either want or not want. But in the end its all on you. I didnt Make you do a thing. Just by listening to my works and taking them into consideration could possibly change your view on the world or your own world. I read people, rather I talk to them or not. I have eyes and I pay close attention to whats around me. Rather its simple things such as what your feeling, your past, your future, your relations, your family, etc. Im a lot smarter than anyone can see. I make life what it is and try to get people like you to open their eyes to whats simply standing in front of them. Fear. I fear being left isn’t anything I look forward to. I want someone who is ready to be mature when it comes to relationships. Other than that, don’t lose me as a friend. That’s one thing you’ll never gain back once it’s gone. Yes, I recall saying my arms are open for anyone no matter the pain they’ve caused me. But you better have a damn well good reason to want me gone. I have control now and I’m willing to use every bit of it. The End. I want to say I'm happy but I'd be lying. I'm not afraid to smile, to touch, feel, or see. I'm afraid of you leaving me. I want to say I'm not hurting but I'd be lying. I'm still running from the pain inside, pain that took me in years ago. I've tried running but there's just no escape, no closure where it's needed most. And I know I'll never receive what I wish I deserved but I can only hope. So I'm left here to choke on the noose left around my throat and I'm going to live my life as it's meant to be. And I will hold on to what happiness I can get. You read this and see someone depressed, I read this and see someone real. I'm not going to sugarcoat my life to grasp your interest. If you don't like what you know then we're not destined to be apart of one anthers life. I don't tell my story to strangers. So don't bother pretending to care. People say life's a dream, well I must have insomnia. So tell me now, where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart? Love, Patricia Dawn Howard ?? "I make the sandwhiches, you make the love" -Tric.   Famous The Colour of My Love I'll paint a sun to warm your heart Knowing that we'll never part. I'll draw the years all passing by So much to learn, so much to try. I'll paint my mood in a shadow blue, Paint my soul to be with you. I'll sketch your lips in shaded tones, Draw your mouth to my own. I'll trace a hand to wipe your tears And trace a look to calm your fears. A silhouette of dark and light To hold each other oh so tight. I'll paint the stars in the evening sky, Draw the light into your eyes, A touch of love, a touch of grace, To softly fall on your moonlit face. And with this ring our lives will start, Let nothing keep our love apart. I'll take your hand to hold in mine, And be together through all time. From This Day Forward From this day forward, You shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter, And my arms will be your home. This I Can Promise I cannot promise you a life of sunshine; I cannot promise riches, wealth, or gold; I cannot promise you an easy pathway That leads away from change or growing old. But I can promise all my heart's devotion; A smile to chase away your tears of sorrow; A love that's ever true and ever growing; A hand to hold in yours through each tomorrow. I Promise I promise to give you the best of myself and to ask of you no more than you can give. I promise to respect you as your own person and to realize that your interests, desires and needs are no less important than my own. I promise to share with you my time and my attention and to bring joy, strength and imagination to our relationship. I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see through the window of my world into my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams. I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face changes in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting. I promise to love you in good times and bad, with all I have to give and all I feel inside in the only way I know how. Completely and forever. I Tried So Hard To Keep You From Leaving Me, But You Never Looked Back. I Lie Here Dead. U never even noticed, U were too caught up in UR life, not caring about ME, when all I did was care and try to get U to notice me half MY life. But UR too late, U have no idea on what YOU've lost in LIFE, and U lost ME. Tired of Trying.. Sick of Crying... Yeah im Smiling.. Bit Inside Im… Dying. Love Hurts. Boys Lie. Friends Cry. People Die. Parents Yell. You Always Try. You’re Never Good Enough, And You Don’t Know Why. I carved your name into This bullet so everyone Would know you were the last Thing going through my head. I keep going back to the one thing I need to walk away from. All I need from you is a letter explaining why you hurt me. I try so hard to pretend I don’t love you. But I cant. After a while you learn the difference between holding a hand and falling in love. You begin to learn that kisses don’t always mean something, promises can be broken just as quickly as they are made, and Good-byes really are Forever. Every time I try to give up, hope whispers.. Try Again. Crushes are meant to be crushed, Why else would i still be hurting? When Will Love Stay In Place, And Never Fade Away? One Day, Ill walk by and see you on the ground; just like the day u saw me on my knees suffering; and ill walk right past you. Like Somthing You Did. All you did was stare as u walked by, not caring how hurt i was, not seeing the pain i with-held, not even lending a hand to make me feel like someone was there who wanted to be there, not even being the friend you tried to convince me you were; And So i make myself this goal; To Anyone i see on the ground, I shall Help. But i Will Never Forget The expression on your face when you left me here, on the ground, so unhealthy. Now As I Walk Past You, I Wont Even Bother To Look Down, You Were Never Worth Seeing My Eyes. Amazing How Someone Can Bring You Down Just By The Way They Look At You, When You Need Them The Most. But This Is Our So Called Friendship. Someday someone will come along and show me why it never worked with anyone else. I found what destoys this world....and its from getting attached to the person or thing u would fall to ur knees for.. and the only reason u fall so far is b/c u love them..Getting attached to some one should be a crime..it kills...maybe not right now but eventually when that person or thing is gone, it will hit u..U just got Shot in the Heart. Have you ever looked at a picture and seen a stranger in the background. It makes you wonder, how many strangers have pictures of you? How many moments of other peoples lives have we been in? Were we a part of someones life when their dream came true? Or were we there when their dreams died. Did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there. Or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone's life, and not even know it. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall because most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you could have imagine. Who knows where life could take you. The road is long and in the end the journey is the destination. Likes: Vapirism. Blood. Love. Making you smile. Thinking deeply. Eyeliner. Hairstraighners. Colorful ancle socks. Eating cerial out of bowls that look like cute little flower pots. Weed. (It brings us together. C: ) Friendship. Raving. Art. Shopping. Spending money. Wasting time. Helping the earth. Piercings. Tatoos. Accessories. Baggy jeans. Vans or Converse. Dressing up. Kissing. Cuddling. Holding hands. Walking. Talking. Writing. Acting crazy. Admitting to random people that I have A.D.D :D Soo many things I like, I couldnt even list them all. I just enjoy life and the little things around me. <3 Romeo && Juliet ROMEO: If I profane with my unworthiest hand This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss. JULIET: Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, Which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss. ROMEO: Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too? JULIET: Aye, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer. ROMEO: O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair. JULIET: Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake. ROMEO: Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged. JULIET: Then have my lips the sin that they have took. ROMEO: Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again. JULIET: You kiss by the book. Dislikes: Whores. Hypacrits. Not having a hairstraightner. Not having eyeliner. Not having a jacket. White knee socks. Sex crased people. Racism. Hate. and those who are predjudice.Favorite Music: |
