Not new, been a member since 2006? 2007?
My Name is Jeremy, Currently living in Arizona, came back to this site because I'm bored. Currently in the process of writing a novel, While working full time. Oh, and i'm an INFJ (:
Not goth, or emo, or scene. I used to be, but not anymore. That's okay though, still up for good chats and finding great friends! Because I'm too much of an introvert to find them outside of my home... .-. lmao
Doth thou taste the lament of despair on thy tongue? Hath thou ever felt the feeling of being indispensable? To find out thou are nothing more than a simple rag, tossed away to dry in the sweltering abyss? Breathe in my child, and take heed. Thou are not alone, and thou will find a safe haven within thyself if thou doth simply seek it. Thy pain is only temporary. Take in these words and rejoice my child. Time heals all wounds. And we are only human. Sometimes the hardest challenge in life... is life itself. The pains we intake, the things we experience, sometimes make it hard to pick ourselves back up. I myself, have experienced these things. Heart breaks, deaths, financial hardship, hunger, even sickness. While these are just a simple few of the many. Life brings different challenges to all. Just know you as a person are not alone. And i'm always an open ear to hear, and to listen to your trails and pains. After all, we are all only human. The greatest thing a human can do for another is to be there through someone else's hardship. Human compassion.
On that subject, I myself struggle within. Finding self worth, and finding the courage to be wanted by others. Sometimes when i do, i strive out too strongly, appearing clingy and needy. That's not the intention of course. My own inner desires of being wanted, and needed take over, and i feel nothing but a strong desire to feel important and wanted by somebody. Hence unfortunately, it can push people away. But I am aware of my flaw. My childhood I was always made fun of, called ugly, teased, and always alone. I'd be the child you find on the playground alone against the fence looking out the other side. Feeling like i'm imprisoned. That i didn't belong. Middle school was the same. I found the courage one time to give a letter to a girl i really liked. I was terrified. Her friends took the letter and read it in front of everyone. Everyone laughed at me. I was simply ashamed, embarrassed and I hated myself. After that i always hung out alone.. usually against a wall, or near the racket ball court. Always wore a hood to hide my face. Ashamed of myself as a person. I guess you can say that's where my feeling of worthlessness and depression started. It also started in the classroom. One time a teacher told me i was not good enough in math. And because of it, it resonated with me. always making me think i was not good in school. She dropped me down to a lower math grade because of it. I was always eager to run home after school, so i can get on the computer and use AIM and MSN. (shows my age right?) I could be myself and have friends there and not worry about being judged. I never hung out with people outside.. i felt too awkward and like i was being judged.. By the 8th grade i finally made a group of friends, which only one of them i'm still friends with until this day. I was arrested in middle school for having a tool kit i was returning to my friend which he let me barrow for my bike. (may he rest in peace) I got in trouble for the very small knife that was inside the kit. Because of it i was placed on house arrest and served my sentence. Luckily i was not expelled from school, but simply suspended for a month.. i was a good kid, i guess you can say a teachers pet of sort. At least there i felt some worth. Come high school, I never really fit in anywhere. Tried to hang out with my old group of friends, but it just didn't really seem to work very well. I met one person in my 9th grade English class that i became very good friends with. Still friends to date. I from that point on had a lot of online relationships.. well.. most of them in fact were online.. I unfortunately didn't graduate high school. I dropped out and went to home school. I couldn't focus in the classroom. So i tried home studies. I almost finished, but changed to a trade school. Which allowed me to get my GED. I almost got my high school diploma. But due to some unfortunate drama i dropped out. I made some good friends there. I was introduced to Dungeons and dragons there. Which i fell in love with. Speaking of which, at the time i lived in long beach California. I moved away from there when i was 19 after i finished my trade school. My family relocated out to Arizona due to work. I had no place to stay, so i came here. Lets fast forward a few years. I got involved in multi level marketing. Met some great people, got trained by millionaires, and learned how to change my life for the better. It worked. I really picked myself up. Set goals and dreams for myself. I remember coming home from my grandmas house one time and saw a really nice car. Had no idea what it was. But i told myself i'd get that car one day. So i saw it again some time later. After i got my current job which I've been at for a few years now. It was my dream car. Long story short, i bought my dream car. (which was my first car by the way) I totaled it a year later, lost control and flew off the freeway. I walked away just fine though. On that valentines day, I got the same car again. Newer model. Which i still have to this date. I've worked hard at my job, and I've now become a retail sales manager in the company i work for. Working hard to eventually move up to district manager. That's basically my life story. Nothing extravagant or anything out of the ordinary. But i do say, it would make a great book if i altered some bits haha. I've had my fair share of bad relationships, as well. Which i have told to not include, because the details are really not that important. If you'd like to more more in detail about me. Just ask. I could have kept writing, but i really felt this was enough information to give you the gist of me as a person. (I still struggle with self worth in relationships though, but it has drastically improved as of late due to a recent experience.) If you wanna know more about me just ask. Oh and favorite color? Icy blue. I love the color of glaciers. Food? Anything meat. The current diet i am on i am limited on what i can eat. So i consider myself a Meatatarian haha. Hobbies? I don't have any. Other than gaming. I'm quite basic i guess. I found a passion for writing as of recently though. I am writing a 5 book novel. 2 prequels and 3 main story. I've already built the main plot, i just have to express it down on paper. Ask me about it if you want. That's all for now. Reach out if you wanna know more. (whatever could you ask though?)