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TheNightBorn
Latest Journal Entry: Insert witty "Insert Witty Joke Here" joke here October 25, 2008, 02:50am
Profile: I live in a cramped verminous rot-hole far away from where I'd prefer to be (a.k.a. Pen-fucking-ticton). Humans shun me and I shun them - a loving partnership. There's not much else to say. I write, and spend more time reading than breathing. My dream in life is to some day be a plantation owner on a small island in the South of Mars. In a past life I was a Giant Salamander. My idols are Louis Riel, Wendy Williams, and Ren Hoek. I've had "Nitro Burnin' Funny Bong" stuck in my head for a few months. What else is there to say? I'm not sure if I could eat a monkey. If it really came down to it, I probably could, but it would really depend on the situation. I would so much rather do it in a steaming jungle with Umbakwa the Furious leering over me and threatening to sacrifice me to Lord Angbekway if I don't eat the raw dripping monkey meat infront of me, than sit in a prim little New York cafe nursing a cup of espresso while a nicotine-yellowed waitress deposits a small portion of Singe Frite a la Guiane on my sparkling clean plate. The jungle is simply so much more verminous, and that is really my cup of tea. Or espresso. Which ever kills the night-terrors. Anyways... I own and am active in the Skinfinitely Skinteresting cult, which I suggest you join if you value insanity and large semi-threatening eel-like creatures. There is also binary and pie. Ahem. Anyways.... I have a burning passion for literature, of various forms, especially the poetry of such writers as Poe and Lovecraft. There hasn't been a day in my life when I have not spent at least an hour drifting off in some little world of my own. Whenever I'm motivated enough, I set such musings down on paper. I'm a lover of all Life on this planet, even the most ghoulish of intestinal parasites. I don't go a day without at least attempting to learn something new... In all honesty, I never really know what to say in these things..... I just exist the way I do, and that is all. If you want to talk to me, do so. There are things lurking in my skull which surprise even me, at times.... what else is there to say? "All of these kids these days with their 'eye-pods' and 'cell-phones', we didn't have that crap when I was a kid. We had one telephone that was eighteen feet high and took up an entire wall of the shrimpin'-shack and ran on steam power, it took a week to dial a phone number and you had to stick your head inside of the piping hot Cone of Silence or else you couldn't hear the person you were talking to. Why those were the days they was, I wear every phone-burn and clockwork-calculator-wound with pride....." "Being broke is awesome. In so far as I can't sink any lower than I already am. That's a nice stable feeling. Once you've soaked into the cracks in the bedrock, you don't really fear what lies beneath anymore." "I'm so deep that when I get a cut I bleed viperfish..."
Likes: Long nights full of whiskey and mayhem in downtown Montreal. My homeland of Beautiful British Columbia. Anything that breathes. Tzatziki sauce. I have a thing for tape for some reason... electrical AND duct.... my psychotic homicidal cat from Hell, Tobias (a.k.a. Lord Tobacna, a.k.a. Kittunculus, a.k.a. Little Bastard). My pussy suicidal snake, Olga (who I had to give away and now miss tremendously). Anything by Jack London, Lord Dunsany, or H. P. Lovecraft. GWAR!!!!!! Movies that reach inside your skull and screw around with your mind. I am obsessed with islands. The smell of burning toilet-paper rolls. Ethiopian food. Salvador Dali and M. C. Escher. This poem. If that's not enough for ye, then too bad damnit. "The active ingredient in most chocolate bars is infact angel scrotum. The cocoa itself has no special properties. That good feeling you get is entirely because of the angel scrotum. Pass it on." "I hereby dub thee Chameleo Pilosa, the Hair-Chameleon. On moonlit nights you stalk through the branches of the jungle trees in search of the nests of Bolivian stench-monkeys, upon whose fleas and ticks you feed. In Winter your shaggy white coat protects you from the heat-sensing abilities of the ravening ice-weasels which come up from the Southern Pole." "When the sun goes down, she spreads her wings and flies above the city in search of unwed teenage mothers, upon whose succulent offspring she slowly and relishingly feeds. Rending their soft pulpy bodies with her razor-sharp mandibles, her vocal sack pulsating with mirth as the sharp tangy blood stimulates her gustatory papillae. Oh how sweet the destruction of young life is this eventide, she titters to herself as she crunches unossified bones betwixt her occlusal surfaces, and lets the last few streams of putrid liquid ooze down her swollen throat. Then back up, off into the nightwinds she soars, veering wildly this way and that in search of the next tiny, tender victim."
Dislikes: Four legs good. Two legs bad. "VF has a bad name because a) the Concerned Parents of Dumbfuckistan see the words 'vampire' and 'freak' and automatically assume that this website must be singlehandedly convincing their precious children that worship of the allmighty Satan is better than drinking the blood of Christ until you puke, b) that whole Kimveer thing got a hideously large amount of press and still taints the Wikipedia article about VF, and c) normal people don't like anything that looks weird and, lets face it, we're all pretty fucked up (at least I know I am). Although thanks to the emo/screamo/sceno thing it is allegedly 'Cool to be Weird', the fact is that MTV-suckling normlings have just about as much tolerance for the off-colour and unbalanced as the Grand Dragon of the KKK does for re-runs of The Jeffersons. VF can never replace MySpace because it is designed specifically for that segment of youth conformist thought which isn't exactly main stream, the little cluster of identical black sheep nestled into the comfy middle of the much larger herd of identical white ones - it's a limited audience, and can never encompass everyone like the unholy exhalations from the cavernous tomb-mouth of MySpace do. If there's any conflict between MySpace and VF, it's that the MySpace guy is a douchebag and doesn't realize that Manifest Destiny isn't exactly the best way to make a good reputation. I say that we as rational and intelligent Killbots should leave this petty bickering to the petty bickerers and keep ourselves to more noble and dignified topics - such as which one of you keeps using my inflatible love-pig? That thing was damn expensive and Hell like I want to keep cleaning your love-filth off of it. For shame." "Fuck all that hydroponic pain-farm nonsense, pain-mining is the only way to get bulk shipments of pain at low cost and high worker mortality. Seriously, what is the point of being Captains of Industry if we don't have high worker mortality? Those mortals ain't gonna mort themselves. Unless... to the depresserarium! We have miseries and melancholias to concoct! *theme music*"
Favorite Music: More than you could shake a seventeen-and-a-half foot stainless steel plutonium-powered atomic death-stick from beyond the outer rings of Jupiter at, that's for sure. I'm into a lot of metal and punk, and some older stuff, but my tastes are quite broad while at the same time rather picky. I like what I like. Gwar really are our Masters, and Jim Morrison really was Jesus. I have a pocket-shrine to Glen Danzig, and Jello Biafra doubles as my spiritual advisor. When I finally succumb to tuberculosis or scurvy or whatever, there will be a three-day Irish wake with nothing but Metallica and Megadeth and Iron Maiden and Testament and Slayer booming out over everyone. What else is there to say? "If I was a woman I would insert Megadeth CD's into my ovulating womb in an attempt to mix my DNA with these perfect sounds and create a magnificent bastard-spawn." "I'm going to start a one-man grindcore band called 'Dripping Pustules of the Eviscerated Anus', it will consist of me incomprehensibly growling profanities and death-threats while running 2X4's through a wood chipper. I might synch in the sounds of dogs fighting and pigs fucking, to make sure it sounds more like the existing grindcore vocals."
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hehe Have a few drinks and enjoy your day
And I was foolish enough to think your imagination actually had a limit.
